<p>I received full scholarships to both UNC and Duke. I decided to make a verbal commitment to UNC, but recently I believe I made the wrong choice. Everybody around me was telling me I should go to UNC (due to their amazing coach), and I listened to them instead of going with what I wanted. I'm basically picking a school just for the coach and I wish I had never made my commitment. My sport is a very small college sport (only like 8 people on the team), so I have built a very strong relationship with both the coaches and players on both teams which is what makes this so hard. But I truly feel Duke is the right place for me, so would is be terrible of me to de-committ? How and what would I tell the UNC coach?</p>
<p>Did you sign a National Letter of Intent to attend UNC?</p>
<p>No it was just a verbal commitment. I’m pretty sure I am allowed to de-committ but I am having difficulty with determining if I should de-commit and how I should do it? What am I supposed to tell the UNC coach who has put all this effort into getting me?</p>
<p>Is your sport golf? Only asking because it IS a small community and bottom line is people will remember… Technically you are allowed to de-commit but its not a great move as far as building a reputation amongst peers and how other coaches will view you. Regardless of your sport if you truly do not want to go to UNC then you should not because it won’t be fair to you, your teammates or your coaches. It is in unfortunate that you let friends influence your decision rather than going with your gut. By the way I am speaking as a parent of a recruit who de-commited to our team after our coach spent A LOT of time working to recruit this kid. It did not sit well with anyone at this end.</p>
<p>Thanks momof2010, that is definitely something I’m worried about. Duke gives me the option to go to school a semester early while UNC does not, so if I de-commit from UNC saying that the reason would be me going a semester early (which is actually really one of the reasons) would that still look as bad?</p>
<p>I think really the only option at this point is to be honest. Even if it is hard in my opinion it is best. If you are not the truth is bound to find its way back anyway and as always people will speculate and that can be worse. You are young and you made a mistake, it is in my opinion to do it sooner than later if you really feel you made the wrong choice. Give the coach a chance to find another recruit as well. On the flip side my son made a very early verbal to his team Nov of Junior year (full year ahead) and it has turned out to be the perfect place so do give it some good hard thought especially if you are close with the coach and team because that matters A LOT!!!</p>
<p>In the end, if it is just a verbal commitment, go where you feel you should. Verbal commitments are worth the paper they are printed upon. Every year there are kids who have relied upon a verbal commitment and found out in a nasty way that --oops-- that commitment just didn’t work out. </p>
<p>Now in those conferences such as NESCAC where written commitments cannot be given by conference rules, verbal commitments mean much more and so sliding out of them is a bigger deal, but say, with an Ivy or another D1-- if there is no LL or NLI and I mean a LETTER then you haven’t gotten squat and you should feel no disloyalty to move to where you wish to go.</p>
<p>In the end coaches by and large are realists. They understand the game–and–depending on the coach and the Conference-- may not feel any compunction in dropping you if someone stronger comes along at the last moment. (It has happened in the not too recent past with several girls who worked with a certain coach at an Ivy who were “promised” but in the end had nothing but a thin envelope and not much else, because they relied upon the verbal commitment.)</p>
<p>Why would you want to go a semester early? What other reasons do you want to go to Duke? Are you a junior?</p>
<p>Is the money financial aid, or a sports scholarship? If the latter, you need to speak to the Duke coach first to make sure his offer still stands and he has not given the money away to another recruit, before you back out on the UNC coach.</p>
<p>Go to the school you want, dammit.The coach will find another kid.</p>
<p>Glad I found this thread, cause son is facing a similar situation, but with DIII schools (not sports powerhouses like the OP’s schools). He paid his deposit to one LAC and told the coach (who has been fabulous) he was coming. Now he got off the waitlist at another LAC and doesn’t know how to handle it. I like the clarity of oldbatsie’s advice, but son is having a hard time with this. Any thoughts?</p>
<p>momof2010 I am a golf player and I understand that it is a very close community. I am very close with the coach and team so I’ll have to get it more thought. Thanks for all opinions.</p>
<p>My son’s team saw Duke at the Prestige this past season. Have not been around UNC as we are a Calif team. You must be a super stud because full rides for golf are few and far between!!! Feel free to private message me if you want. Duke and UNC are pretty close too, right? My son played in Greensboro at the Footjoy in 2010.
That coach player relationship is HUGE, just really think about that.</p>
<p>sunmachine-- I agree with oldbatsiedoc-- it is your kid’s life–go where he wants–and he should have no regrets-- it is the nature of the recruiting game.</p>
<p>You would be surprised at the amount of discussion among coaches about recruits. Each coach knows that recruits have choices. There is a serious buzz about top recruits and each coach knows that they can lose a recruit at any time… especially without a letter of intent. The most important factor is your match for the college experience that you envision for yourself. Coaches are prepared to cope with the consequences of students’ decisions.
Are you a junior? The letters of intent are signed senior year so maybe you have not reached that point yet? Be sure to make the best choice for you. It is much more difficult to transfer to another school after you enroll if your choice is not the one you really want. Do not sign a letter of intent if you have any questions about your choice. I have known several student athletes who changed their verbal commitment and a few who have not signed the letter of intent since they changed their minds at that late date. I have not known anyone who signed a letter of intent and then changed schools.</p>
<p>It’s not all about the sports for most D3 athletes…and shouldn’t be for most D1…Read my thread “Fess Up who is Still Competing” for the full gamut…</p>
<p>Oldbatesie- if the kid is getting a full ride coming in as a freshman at D1 level, which is only generally reserved for the very elite golfers, for him it is probably IS just about the sport. I expect he intends to go pro.<br>
Fully funded D1 is only 4.5 for a full team which generally has 10. So my impression is he understands this and also that the world of college golf is a small community. I just think he is concerned about burning bridges, that is why I suggested he be honest with the current coach and try to do as much damage control as he can. To just be completely selfish and uncaring would definitely backfire for him.<br>
Perhaps de-committing is more common in other sports but in golf it is not common, in fact when Ricky Fowler de-committed to UCLA to go to Oklahoma there was a lot of negative press on him at the time. Golf just seems to have a different way of going about “recruiting” than the general sports scene.</p>
<p>Matt Thurmond, head golf coach at Univ of Wash… (a top 10 program) writes a recruiting blog, this post was about de-committing… </p>
<p>We just passed the spring signing date for NCAA FB. It always is big news when a recruit ‘decommits’. Not for your program, but in general, how often do you hear about golf recruit ‘decommits’ from their verbal acceptance? Do coaches ‘decommit’ too?</p>
<p>Fortunately in golf there are still relatively few decommits. Although it seems to be changing in the last couple years (especially this last year) most coaches will stop recruiting a golfer when he/she makes a verbal commitment. I fear that this will change a lot more in the coming decade as things get more and more competitive.</p>
<p>Coaches may “decommit,” but I think it is pretty rare.</p>
<p>Following that process for football is fascinating and saddening. I sure we hope we stay out of conducting ourselves that way. It is a lose/lose for the programs and for the recruits. A commitment should be a commitment. What does it say when people can make a commitment and break it whenever they feel like it? That isn’t a good road to go down in building character. For a coach to encourage a recruit to break a commitment is just as bad, in my opinion. What are we really teaching here?</p>
<p>A coach may not often ‘de-commit’ to a recruit, but they certainly ‘de-commit’ to schools with some regularity and take jobs elsewhere leaving the recruits behind.</p>
<p>Isn’t the rule of thumb to not choose a school based purely on the coach? Who may not be there come September?</p>
<p>Amen, IHS76.
If a coach has ever changed schools, he has “de-committed”. What’s the diff? I’m sure s/he didn’t discuss it w/all the team members first.</p>
<p>And are any of these coaches divorced? I guess they have de-committed in their personal lives, too. So I wouldn’t be too hard on a 17 yo who changes their mind.</p>
<p>I did recommend honesty, mom of 2010. Just not too much angst, and going where the athlete prefers to go.I don’t understand the holier-than-thou attitude of some of the posters. Read the thread about the kids who were promised support, didn’t get in, and never an apology did they receive on the board right now.</p>