Debrief on Residence Hall Experiences?

For those who’ve had a S or D just finish their first (or later) semester living on-campus:

What kind of arrangement did they have (traditional, suite, single/double/triple/quad, newer or older building) and how happy were they with their dorm overall? Things they liked or disliked that couldn’t have been predicted when they moved in? Things you as a parent were impressed or disappointed with?

Was it a school that guarantees residence hall capacity for 2, 3, or 4 years, or were dorm availability and choice tight and competitive? Were/are they in an LLP? Do they have imminent plans to move off campus?

We’ll probably be in the thick of this in a couple of months. With 9 schools in play (probably 5 or 6 seriously) and all the RH choices at each, there are an awful lot of permutations, especially taking Honors and other LLP’s into account. I envision we’ll very likely be putting down more than one housing deposit waiting for final aid packages (interested in your experiences with that process as well). So I feel like this is a good time to gather insights.

Thanks in advance!

Traditional double.

Older building.

Fabulous roommate pairing by the Office of Residential Life. Made all the difference in the world.
No complaints. Happy first term.
Roomies planning to stick together next year and get a suite with four other friends from the dorm.

Daughter wanted the old dorm that looked like it should be in Hogwarts.
Traditional, though due to the age of the building room sizes vary so some are doubles, some triples, and a few quads.
Separate male and female bathrooms in the hall.
No theme/LLC but the school is small.
Freshman dorms at her school are crowded (from a parent point of view).
Roommate matching system worked well for her, she has three. Two she matched with before school started and one that was placed with them after the three chose each other. The three that matched are good friends, the fourth gets along with them but also has another group of friends that she hangs with more due to her involvement in a competitive sport.
Daughter literally has a corner and top bunk (which she chose) and has NEVER complained once.
Very happy first term, three of the four are tentatively planning to room together next year (though in a suite type of room if they can get one). The fourth roommate wants to get an apartment with her other friends.

Her happiness with everything about her school bleeds into her being satisfied with her housing.

Son’s dorm is very basic traditional double. Small room, no A/C and it was blazing hot the first four to six weeks. One common bathroom per floor, serving about 20 rooms. All the frosh dorms are like this so it is sort of fine.

Roommate was randomly assigned by the matching system and is nice, polite and friendly. He’s very social, parties a lot, pledged a frat, almost never around. Son likes him though they seem to have little in common and certainly won’t be rooming together next year.

His school has a two year residence requirement. My son has no idea about who he might room with next year. Just has not given it the first thought as far as I can tell.

One daughter in a traditional no frills double matched with a roommate at the last minute for freshman year. Was a great match, they are still friendly, but daughter moved to a sorority (again a double) this fall. She’s about to head out to a Disney internship where they basically live in dorm style suites, and I think she has 5-6 roommates. Daughter is very easy to get along with, so I think any arrangement would be fine with her.

Other daughter was in a 4 person suite with teammates last year (freshman village). Each girl had her own room and they shared a living room, double bathroom and kitchenette. Normal troubles most of the year, with one not taking out the trash, one bitching about dirty dishes, etc. I think the problem was that these teammates were together too much, on the field and in the suite. This year daughter lives in a similar suite but with players from another team. She spends most of her time at her boyfriend’s apt., but the bickering is similar, about trash and dirty dishes and hair in the sink.

I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about it. All set ups work, college kids have been living in dorms of all different sorts for 200 years.

DS (freshman) has a traditional double in a 70’s era dorm, geared toward musicians who are not majors. So it has pianos, practice rooms, and a small stage and recording studio. Good roommate match from the random system and while they aren’t best buddies, they get along well and have no complaints. I don’t know his plans for next year; he has to enter the residential lottery and see if any of the numbers he and his future roommates get will yield a dorm they want.

DD (sophomore at the same school), when in her first year, elected for the only all-women’s dorm on campus. She found her own roommate and applied for a double, but got a triple. This dorm is very beautiful and gothic, but old and a little drafty. Still it had the prettiest and quietest lounges in the freshman dorms. They were crowded but got along well. For the current year, one of her friends got a great number in the lottery, so five of them got a wonderful suite all to themselves in one of the new dorms. It is a perfect setup. However, they can’t keep it for next year because three of them will be doing a semester abroad, so they have signed a lease on an apartment just off campus.

Good experiences had by all so far.

Here’s a bad experience

D is a freshman just finishing her first semester. She has a traditional small double, hallway bathroom, single sex floor. The girls were matched by the school. Almost everyone lives on campus all four years.

The two girls did not get along. Starting the first week, roommate would sexile D on a regular basis to the point where all the other girls on the floor offered to let D crash in their rooms. After a while (the fist week or two?) roommate’s boyfriend no longer slept in the dorm room every night nor was he there without the roommate…

Roommate also had late might booze fests (it’s a substance free dorm). D told her absolutely no alcohol or drugs in their room.

Roommate is now moving out after one semester. I don’t know why or how this development came about but I’m thrilled about it. Whatever happened, happened between the two girls and Residential Life. Needless to say, the two girls are not friends, not friendly and will not room together next year.

So even bad experiences are livable and they apparently eventually work out. D learned that advocating for yourself is a good thing. Freshmen tend to keep quiet because they don’t want to “cause problems” when in fact, keeping quiet just causes other problems.

Unsolicited advice:
Get the biggest dorm room / suite possible. If the school has a way to meet and chose potential roommates in the summer do that. Random matches can go very wrong despite the most thorough survey, especially if the student lies in her responses.

Read the Housing Policy. There’s a lot in there about expected roommate behavior. I mainly stayed out of things but I sent a key passage from the housing policy to D. I don’t know whether she used it but she knew she had options.

My D just had her second year in suite-style dorm. Two lofts in each of two small bedrooms, with a larger common space between with bathroom between. This Honors-only dorm is always chosen favorite dorm on campus, but she was able to get in as a Freshman with three Sophmores who need a roomie.

Priority for next year goes by seniority, and also priority to those staying in their same room for next year.

If you have a quiet kid, I completely recommend going for Honors housing. My D is an introvert, and she has made so many friends there.

OP did ask about the learning communities. My daughter is very easy to get along with, was very ‘into’ her major, excited about college, but just did not want to live in a ‘FIG’, freshman interest group where 25 or so kids with a similar interest live on the same floor of a dorm and have 2-3 courses together each semester. Very unlike her not to want to join in, but she was sure of the decision. turned out to be the right decision. One friend did join the FIG for her psychology major and hated her roommate, didn’t really like the kids on the floor, and had to spend many hours a week with these same kids. She moved into the sorority house for second semester to escape. Daughter ended up with a random roommate but DD was a theater major and roommate a dance major (same building, one class in common). One friend did do the dance/theater FIG and hated it. Too much of the same group. DD had the same classes as those in the FIG, and that was enough time with them during the week. Dorms at this school are two large high rises and 3-4 other buildings clustered around the dining hall, mostly freshmen in the dorms, so it is not like the FIGs change the housing a lot, just the roommate and hallway assignments.

After four years of two sons (at two different large flagship univiersities) living in 3 different dorms, we were beyond (selfishly) thrilled with the ease of our daughter’s move-in experience this fall.

She is on the main floor of a small 3 story, old, charming dorm at a small college. It was a total of 4 stair risers up, and about 100 steps (flat surface) from the car to her room. Oh, joy!

The boys, on the other hand, lived in upper floors of two different high rise dorms, and in one fantastic, very old, small dorm on large campuses. The high rises involved elevators and very limited parking, as well as very, very dedicated parking enforcement, which affected even how and when we picked up kids for vacations.

All of them were/are happy, and none of the pain of getting in and out of the upper floors of a high rise dorm made any ultimate difference, but the experiences of drop off and pick up are different.

I wanted to add, from my experience, no matter what date move-in day is, it is guaranteed to be one of the hottest days of the year, and the dorms have been closed up with no air circulation. So my advice is to wear the least amount of clothing you can get away with!

Remembering that I hear only one side of “the story”…

D lives in a traditional double, hallway bathrooms, single sex by floor, substance free.

D was randomly matched with her roommate and it has not been a match made in heaven. It’s almost like Res Life had two leftover people after truly “matching” all the others, so they just got stuck them together.

Roommate is a shop-a-holic and a slob (boxes everywhere). D is much neater at school than she ever was at home. D goes to bed by 11pm or so, roommate is out and about until 2-3:00am almost every night (and slams the door every time she comes in and out of the room). D wakes up to her vibrating phone as an alarm. Roommate snoozes her (loud) alarm over and over and over again. D is always hot and opens the window. Roommate is always cold and closes the window. Roommate eats a lot of highly aromatic food in the room and slurps and chews loudly (and doesn’t wash her hands even after using the bathroom).

While they barely speak to each other and will surely never be friends, they do co-exist without killing each other. It helps that Roommate goes home every weekend and they each have different friend groups.

Bottom line: Don’t panic too much if the roommate situation starts out badly. It’s a good lesson in tolerance, and you can move on to greener pastures in subsequent years.

The most important comment here was “all set-ups work.” They do. For the most part, 18-year-old human beings are really good at adapting to different living conditions, no matter what they think in advance. Yes, there’s conflict sometimes, but usually they can work it out.

(Years ago) D was in an old, disfavored dorm slightly off campus, and more importantly off the campus maps, so that nobody who didn’t live there or have a close friend there knew exactly where it was. This generated lots of folklore about dormcest and lack of sociability, none of which had any predicate in reality. The dorm was all tiny singles, basically 5 boys and 5 girls to a hallway, with two small single-sex bathrooms on the hall. It had a number of nice common areas, and a huge institutional kitchen the kids could use. The woman in the room directly across the hall left after one week, and a woman who had become instant friends with my daughter moved in. So it was a great set-up for them, where they were roommates if they kept their doors open, but could close them for privacy. The friendship somewhat petered out as the year went on, and for the next year my daughter moved to an off-campus apartment with a gay boy she had known since fourth grade and some friends of his. She was very social, and spent most of her time out of her dorm or apartment in any event, but she always preferred to live with quiet, neat people – her living space was a place of calm and order, not a place for partying.

S, at the same college, chose the largest, most social dorm, then an impressive but dilapidated building far from the center of campus. He had a traditional double, in a room large enough to have been a forced triple had the third kid ever showed up, with a small bathroom in the room. He and his roommate never meshed well, and after a while they basically ignored one another. My son learned that he didn’t really like living in the most social dorm, although he was a pretty social person himself, but that he actually appreciated having some distance between where he lived and where he worked. He didn’t bond with a lot of people on his floor, but two women there pulled him into a club team the first week of college that became one of his main extracurricular activities, and he has remained friends with them and the roommate of one of them years later. He spent a lot of time with friends in other dorms. His future fiancee was on a different floor in the same dorm, but although they were classroom friends they didn’t socialize together back then. He couldn’t wait to move into an off-campus apartment the next year, in a small building (8 apartments, 28 people total) where almost everyone was involved with the university theater, his other main extracurricular. It was like a theme house.

This was at a college where the general pattern is freshmen and sophomores live in college housing and juniors and seniors move off campus into the surrounding student ghetto. Freshmen are required to live in a dorm absent unusual circumstances. A few students live on campus all four years, usually spending the last as an RA. It was not the norm, but not at all uncommon, for kids to move off campus after one year. I had lived in a dorm with essentially the same group of friends all through college, and loved it, so I was surprised at how well non-dorm living suited my kids. (And it was meaningfully less expensive than the dorms, for much, much nicer space.)

S is currently a freshman in a single (most rooms in this building are singles) in a very large older building. Each room has it’s own climate control for heat, cold, fan. The rooms are carpeted - looked pretty good on move-in day.Lots of storage space - coat closet, main closet, 6 drawer chest, lighted mirror area above chest of drawers. Loft request did not go through so he has under bed storage too.

He shares a single sex bathroom with about 15. Bathrooms cleaned during the weekdays but not on weekends when they really need it most. Best thing about visiting home for S is taking a shower without shoes (flip flops).

He is in an LLC (for OOS students) but picked it mainly to maximize his chances of getting the single (potential horror roommate seemed to be his main anxiety before college and he would have been happy to room with his friend but that friend wanted a random roommate). He likes having his own space (albeit very small) and has made lots of friends on his floor. There is no lounge on each floor in this building - I think that’s a nice feature to have though.

Freshman are guaranteed dorms as long as they apply by deadline. The culture at this school seems to be for most students to move off campus by sophomore year - not too thrilled about his from the safety perspective. He and three friends are looking at apartments and houses. Sophomores do get first dibs on housing though.

The only big negative is the dining hall food - not a lot of fresh options, much of it unappetizing so he exists on salads and the occasional meal out.

At my kids’ college, they have a Facebook page to find roommates. Neither S1 nor D used it, trusting the housing office to do the matching. Neither was ideal.

S1 ended up in a double in a primarily freshman dorm. He is super-social, but his assigned roommate was a sophomore, diagnosed Asperger syndrome and EFD. S1 moved to a different room second semester.

D’s roommate (different freshman dorm) was a better match based on participation in sports, but they never clicked. My D is kind of nerdy and wears jeans, t-shirts and a hoodie. Roommate came with stylish clothes and a suitcase of makeup. She joined a sorority and moved out the third week. D had a single until spring break, when they moved in an international student. This year D is in the Honors dorm and much more in her element.

I guess I’m saying, if there is a way to pre-screen roommate choices, it might be better to use it.

Another thing - their school does dorm selection based on the order they were submitted. The most popular dorms are filled by end of November.

@3rdXsTheCharm, I admit I sent D some “highly aromatic food” the first month of school because I was so annoyed with her roommate’s antics. Reading your post, I was a bit concerned that our kids were roommates but my child is particular about washing her hands, hates shopping and she can’t go home for weekends. (she is messy) Whew.

“Another thing - their school does dorm selection based on the order they were submitted. The most popular dorms are filled by end of November.”

@Magnetron I was afraid of that, and that was actually a follow-up question I wanted to post in this thread.

Naturally every school wants our housing deposit and enrollment deposit on their books at the first possible moment. At the other end of the spectrum is the deadline, May 1. Realistically, when does the door start to close for incoming freshmen in terms of having a reasonable amount of choice? February? March?

Understandably, this will vary by school and individual residence community. Any data points for an individual school would be so valuable. Let’s start with The Ohio State, Indiana Bloomington, DePaul, Missouri Columbia, or Kentucky. Thanks.

^^^ Even if you don’t have specific data like the above, please do continuing sharing your experiences and insights. This is so valuable and very much appreciated.

I’d think the bigger the school, the faster the housing fills up. DD1 goes to a state school, signed up for housing in Nov, and wasn’t matched to a roommate until Mid-August. Not a big deal, and never really an explanation of why they were assigned so late. All freshman housing was basically the same so it didn’t matter if the student signed up in Nov or June. DD2 also accepted in the fall, I don’t remember when we signed up for housing. Not all freshmen got to live in the freshmen complex, some lived in a traditional dorm. Benefit of the traditional dorm was that it was cheaper. It’s a smaller school, freshmen and sophomores required to live on campus, but there are certain buildings only for freshmen, some for only upperclassmen.

D’s at a LAC where everyone is randomly (well not randomly, the housing folks do it and take a lot of pride in doing it well but the point is no one gets to choose) assigned a roommate and everyone lives on campus for 4 years. They’ve been best friends since the start and plan to room together next year. They’re very different but similar enough in the ways that count for roommates.

Everyone is assigned housing at once (well, all first years) so there’s no housing deposit rush like at many state schools.

FWIW housing the next 3 years is by a lottery system, higher years first.

The dorm overall is pretty awesome, if I may say so…beautiful floors and furniture, a fireplace in the common room, walls are drywall not cinderblock, location is great (all first years are on one quad).