Sorry for the book but if anyone reads this thank you so much all advice or insight will help me and be considered by me!!! I know it’s stupid of me to turn to these boards but I feel like I need some advice other than my family and friends from home. To give you background, I am a current 1st semester undergrad student and the University of Wisconsin Madison. So far school has been super hard and to be honest I don’t have any friends, there are people I know and talk to but when it comes to the weekend I get nervous because I don’t have anyone to go out with so I’ll either go home or my boyfriend (from home) will come to visit me. I’m originally from the suburbs of Minneapolis and went to a big high school, graduating class of 500. I’m not saying I was popular but I new TONS of people and I always had friends to hang out with. Coming to college I tried rushing but I ended up dropping out because I only got asked back to one sorority that I did not like, this caused me to miss out on the first 4 full days on campus when everyone is meeting each other and I feel like I wasted this time because I didn’t even end up in a sorority. I came to Madison with 6 or so other people from my school, most of them I know but would not necessarily enjoy hanging out with, there’s one girl I do know, not super well, but I tried hanging out with her and her friends from her floor but I just ended up feeling so awkward and leaving because they all knew each other and I didn’t know any of them.
Now it’s 2 months into the semester and I know that that isn’t a lot but everyone here already has their groups of friends and I feel so uncomfortable intruding on them. Not to mention I do homework all day but grades are my priority and because I didn’t get into Madison easily I have to work extra hard at school. If I end up staying here I will be applying to the business school and there are many factors that lead me to believe I will get in and if I don’t there is a parallel major that I know I can work towards in the School of Human Ecology so that is not so much a problem.
Because of the bad social experiences I’ve had, Madison does not feel like home for me at all and I’ve literally been counting down the days now until I can be home for winter break and not have to worry about all of this for a month at least. Also because of me not feeling well here, I have considered transferring to the University of Minnesota. There are a number of factors that I have thought this would suit me much better than Madison, some of them being- it is just 15 minutes away from home and while I know that my parents wouldn’t let me come home often it’s nice to have the option to go home for a Sunday afternoon or some random weeknight (my dad works in downtown so he can easily pick me up and drop me off, one of my sisters went to the U of M so he did this often with her). I also know believe that I would feel more at home because it is in a city I know more (versus Madison which I had visited only twice before coming here) and a ton of people go there from my high school. None of the people that go there are my best friends but I feel that at least walking around campus and seeing more faces that I know would make me feel much better than I do here when I see so many faces that I don’t know at all. I also know that the U of M offers transfer students a mini ‘welcome week’ for their first few days on campus and I think that this may help me to meet other new people, while Madison does not offer any such thing for any students the first weeks on campus. On top of this I applied to the Business school at the U of M during my senior year of high school and I was a direct admit, this does not mean I will be admitted for sure to this school if I decide to go there but it is a possibility, they too have a parallel major outside of this school that I could work towards if I do not get into the business school there.
Here’s the killer that I know many people will probably give me crap for but I’ll take it, my boyfriend is currently still in high school but is applying to Madison and the U of M. He just found out this past weekend that he was a direct admit to the School of Engineering at the U of M (which was very exciting because this is not easy to do) and I could tell he was very excited. Both of his parents went to the U so I’m fairly sure he will end up there and I think that, although he tells me this isn’t true, that he is only considering Madison because I am here. I don’t want to choose a college based off of him but the 4 1/2 hour drives are hard enough now that I can’t imagine what it would be like when we are both in college. I know that people break up and that might be a chance for us but all we ever talk about is the future for us so I’m not sure how soon that would happen. He told me that if I had been at the U (because that was one of the runner up schools to Madison while deciding where I would attend college) that he probably would be going to the U for sure. There are many other factors that lead me to believe he’ll end up there too. I don’t want to say I’m going to pick a college based off of him but, again, that is one of the factors that I am not so much trying to consider but it is in the back of my mind. He has been very good about not influencing me or ever telling me his opinions of things so I know that whatever way it turns out it will have been my decision.
If I am to transfer I think that I would want to do it for Spring semester of this year (which I have been looking into and applying for and I already applied for housing as well and met with advisors on campus a few weeks ago) so it is an option for me to transfer for the spring because I will have over 35 credits after this fall semester. I feel that if I was to stay in Madison for another semester I would just be wasting time in a sense because then I could’ve spent that time at the U of M getting settled there versus being here when I know I might be transferring. On top of this there is a girl that I told I would maybe live with next year (everyone is already starting to sign their leases) so I fear that if I stay next semester I’ll be stuck with a signed lease if I ended up to transfer second semester. Besides these reasons there are really no other considerations, they are very similar in cost so that is not a worry (the U is somewhat cheaper but not by a huge amount so that does not matter too much). From what I’ve read people say ‘join a sorority’ or ‘join clubs’ and I tried joining a sorority but that didn’t work out for me, I am in 3 clubs currently but they meet once a week or even less than that so I just don’t see how I could really meet people that way. I am trying to get to know people on my floor but it isn’t looking too promising judging by the fact that many people already have their solidified friend groups.
Thanks for any help, if you have questions please ask! I’ll be listening to all responses