<p>Hi, so about a week ago a princeton alumni contacted me about an interview. i thought she was ordinary alumni at first but then later i realized she was bad-tempered (?) from her replies and her words. my interest of doing the interview went from 100% to 10% automatically. i dont really want to talk to this person anymore. she seems very rude and is demanding me (didnt even ask what i prefer) to drive 50 minutes from my house to a restaurant in her town at a specific time (which i didnt get a chance to pick). i feel like its her fault ive lost interest in the interview and hence princeton in general. how can i reply at least politely to decline the interview? should i make up an excuse? thanks</p>
<p>If she used harsh words, maybe you should contact the coordinator of your reason and express your anxiety to that person. Maybe you can get another interviewer, and prevent future worry of others.</p>
<p>I don’t really know the context of her rudeness, but if the only thing you have against her is how she laid down a time and place without asking, you may not have enough of a case. :/</p>
<p>well i gave her my cell phone number after about 2 back and forth emails and she was like “that number would’ve been useful if you gave me it faster” (add/subtract couple words) and idk the tone was just overall of someone’s who i wont enjoy talking to. even if i dont contact princeton, do you have any idea how i can word an email reply that declines the interview partially politely?</p>
<p>What else did she say? I think a polite way to decline would be to tell her that the time and place is inconvenient for you so you unfortunately don’t think interviewing would be an option.</p>
<ol>
<li>Say you have a funeral or something - make it unverifiable, e.g., your great-aunt. Point is to avoid her placing the blame on you after step 2:</li>
<li>Contact Princeton as well as your regional Princeton alumni club. The former may have guidance; the latter handles the actual interviews. Ensure that your interviewer is not on the alumni group’s board or anything - don’t tell her that she’s being annoying!</li>
<li>Princeton doesn’t weigh interviews heavily at all - not a big deal if you don’t get another one.</li>
</ol>
<p>Do you think you may be overreacting a little? The Princeton interviewer may have a number of appointments to set up, be busy with her work and family, and not have the time or energy to treat you with kid gloves. </p>
<p>Normally, the student wanting the interview needs to be flexible, cooperative, and enthusiastic in this stage. In your future, there may be plenty of adults who may seem abrupt, from busy professors to overworked departmental staff. Almost always, it is not personal, and there can be a huge difference in attitudes depending on geographical and cultural norms.</p>
<p>Once at Princeton, the community is extraordinarily helpful and supportive. You should not let one alumn put you off a great opportunity.</p>
<p>As an alumni interviewer, trust me when I tell you that you want to go to the interview. There’s nothing that flags “doesn’t want to go to Princeton”, “hiding something that we should know”, or “thinks that they’ll get in either way” more than “candidate declined an interview”, which is an option on our form. Go, smile, roll with the punches, and act as nicely as you can. It may not be fun, but it’s good practice for situations like it that you might face in the future.</p>
<p>After it’s done, PM me that individual’s name and where you live, and I’ll reach out to the local alumni chair and ensure that they don’t do many more interviews without harming you at all. But unless you know that you don’t want to go Princeton anymore (which would be a shame, the vast majority of us are nice people), you should go to the interview.</p>
<p>Good plan?</p>
<p>@batfan: She said some other things but
@fauve i guess i am a little over-reacting. i know ill have to face tougher and meaner people in the future but i guess i just wasnt expecting it from an alumni interviewer.
@chaseholl thanks for your suggestions, i really was going to do what you suggested.
@2006Alum yeah, that sounds like a good plan. ive decided to just do it. though i still dont want to drive for 1.5 hours for an interview, i guess it will be better than nothing. thank you everyone for your answers. you guys helped me make up my mind!</p>
<p>If it makes you feel any better, I had to travel for 4 hours to my Brown interview (it was worth it, though!). Good luck with your interview! :)</p>
<p>oh lord i just typed in my interviewer’s name and job just to see who she was and she’s actually a he… and all this time ive been addressing him MS. _______. im freaking out even more now. how can i fix this situation?</p>
<p>ok wow why did he not bother to correct that? it seems you’ve sent him more than one email…:P</p>
<p>kje4532, did you receive an email from Princeton prior to being contacted by your interviewer that gave you the name of the chair of the ASC in your region as well as the interviewer’s name? If you so, it should be very easy for you to contact the chair and request another interviewer because the chair’s email address was in that notification. It does sound like to me you have gotten off to an unpleasant start and would benefit from having someone else conduct the interview. Also, phone interviews count every bit as much as face to face interviews. Either way it’s approximately a half hour conversation that has very little bearing on whether you get in or not. Certainly it is not worth driving more than half an hour to get to. I say this as a long time interviewer for Princeton who conducts many phone interviews for Princeton each year, and who had a phone interview when I applied. Contact the chair and politely request someone else who can conduct your interview by phone.</p>