Defer?

<p>We have always thought our daughter (now 8th grade) would attend public high school -- area schools are terrific, younger siblings will attend public, plus our finances put us above significant scholarship assistance yet paying for prep school would be a real stretch. But ... private school might be a better match for her. We are thinking of sending her to public for 9th, see how it goes, then consider switching if it doesn't work out. My question: do we apply to prep schools now and then defer (is that even an option??), apply now and then apply again from scratch if we decide public didn't work out, or not apply at all now and then reevaluate in the future? Will applying and not attending hurt her chances for future admissions?</p>

<p>We are guessing she can get into almost any school:
She currently goes to a small, very competitive private school (public elementary wasn't a good option with no gifted programs).
* She has straight A's and A+'s
* Various awards: Tennis Player of the Year Award at her school, State Award in Visual arts, State Awards for Math and Creative Writing, National Award for Foreign Language (she studies 2 languages)
* Plays 2 instruments
* Leadership positions at school (Newspaper Editor, Student Government, community service)
* Perfect SSAT's -- all 800's
What we're most proud of -- she's a nice, friendly, normal, well adjusted kid</p>

<p>We'd hate to close a door by making the wrong move now but would like to give the public school route a chance.</p>

<p>Lots of kids apply to BS as sophomores. It sounds like she is on track to be an outstanding high school student, especially in the PS environment (which would save you a ton of money.) </p>

<p>At BS, she will be surrounded by kids equally skilled and highly motivated. Virtually all classes are taught by amazing faculty and are highly advanced and stimulating. The facilities are out of this world. </p>

<p>This is a tough call. If you rank order this way:</p>

<ol>
<li>Top college admission</li>
<li>Budget</li>
<li>High school experience/education</li>
</ol>

<p>then I would stay put.</p>

<p>However, if you rank order:</p>

<ol>
<li>High school experience/education</li>
<li>College Admission</li>
<li>Budget</li>
</ol>

<p>then boarding school should be considered seriously.</p>

<p>Parlabane – thank you for your thoughtful and helpful response. You got me thinking about this in a new way. Rather than focusing on a plan to switch schools later we should weigh out the best decision now. Your list of priorities is particularly useful.</p>

<p>It sounds like she is “off the chart” brilliant. A student like this will do well wherever she goes. It’s likely that she would be one of the few in a top BS instead of the only top student in the PS. I would vote for BS for the opportunities and experience that’s simply not available in a PS no matter how good it is (due to different missions and setup). College admission should be a neutral factor in your case if she turns out to be a “star” as she is now 4 years down the road. The deal maker/breaker is the availability of funding. You may apply either now or next year. Many schools take in a big number of new stuedents in 10th grade. Good luck!</p>

<p>Your daughter sounds like a very strong candidate - she has achieved on several levels - academically, athletically, artistically…</p>

<p>You will not be allowed to defer admission - you would need to reapply. The downside to waiting: how will you know if public school is working out given the fact it will only be a few months at most before you would need to start applying for BS next fall?</p>

<p>Thanks Benley. Her current advisor also said she would do well anywhere and said PS should be on our list since she will likely do great there. Yet great at that top suburban school doesn’t automatically translate to top college. It’s hard figuring out where she’ll be happiest, how important getting into a great college is, and how much we should go into debt for all these incrementally varying decisions. Her PS option consistently turns out very accomplished, perfect board score, top athletes yet doesn’t have nearly the Ivy acceptance rate of a BS. And what if she doesn’t get into an Ivy type school … does the world stop spinning?</p>

<p>Interestingly, it’s sometimes hard for us to see objectively, (her success comes so naturally and comfortably and with humility – it’s easy to forget she’s above average). One thing we know: a passion for learning, intellectual curiosity and creative expression drive her – not awards, grades, competition. </p>

<p>It’s reassuring to hear schools take new students in 10th so whatever we decide we have options.</p>

<p>doschicos – thank you for the concrete information on deferral. That’s helpful. And re: not knowing in the fall if PS is working out. That’s a great point I hadn’t thought of. I suppose she could tour/interview/apply in the fall based on a hunch and then decide in the spring at acceptance time with more experience behind her. Not ideal since that could be a potential distraction, keeping her from jumping into the PS experience. Much to ponder!</p>

<p>A word of caution: don’t make your decision based on the college matriculation data. There have been many discussions on this topic, but one point most people seem to agree on is that if you come out of a PS as the number 1, you’d have a better chance getting into an ivy than as one of the top “unhooked” students in a BS. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to do that from a BS but it won’t be any easier (you need to work harder and achieve more).</p>

<p>The big unanswered question…</p>

<p>What is her level of interest in the possibility of boarding school?</p>

<p>Some kids want the adventure, others like the familiar.
Some kids like to be special, others want to be with those like them.</p>

<p>And some kids are just fine either way.</p>

<p>Sending a homebody away could have very negative initial (and perhaps ongoing) impact on her achievement.</p>

<p>And some kids, when they hit that age discover that they are #1 no matter how little they do and underachieve. And often it is too late to turn around that behavior once discovered.</p>

<p>I think ultimately you decision should come down to what makes her happy and productive.</p>

<p>A few questions you might ask? Does she go to away events (summer camps and the like) really excited about all the people like her at these places? Or does she come home more focused on what she did there? That might give you a clue as to whether something is socially lacking in her current experience (might be best for boarding school), or whether you just need to concentrate on maximizing the academic challenges (doesn’t need people like her to enjoy her pursuits, just bigger challenges - perhaps best for public with a strong dose of parent involvement in outside ECs).</p>

<p>Just a start at evaluating what is better for the child (as opposed to the resume).</p>

<p>I’m not a parent so I feel a bit strange commenting, but food for thought: Your daughter is obviously bright enough to handle anything academically. You could essentially ignore the college admissions perspective and focus on weighing the financial and the untangible. Maybe she could learn something from the boarding school experience?</p>