@momofsenior1 - You are correct, we didn’t know about ED, properly research it, etc. So yes, I take accountability for that. Not sure though that that particularly relates to the cluster of a mess with BYU.
Actually, I DID take your advice yesterday! I reached out to her guidance counselor to see if he can reach out to the school. No word yet but I did try.
With regard to the LoR - I mean, honestly, what do you want me to tell you on this? This is what the TEACHERS said for her to do. She asked three and they all said the same thing so I gather this is common practice at her (and other) high schools.
With regard to ED, we had already applied to BYU before applying ED to Brown and you could be right, maybe that played a factor in the decision and BYU saw that but again, they should just tell us that then! There was another kid in our ward who applied ED to BU and applied to BYU ( IDK If he got in though) but it sounded to us like common practice.
Thanks, we know (now) about using ED on a school that isn’t first choice.
@DeeCee36 Thank you we will look - we are familiar with some of these names but we have to get going if we are going to meet any of the deadlines. Appreciate the info though. Thanks
@Lindagaf - Oh I agree that life is not fair. However, the school does owe us an explanation as to what they found lacking in her application compared with others that I KNOW were not as good.
Now you might not agree with me, but again, life’s not fair and we don’t all have to agree now do with.
I didn’t ask for constructive criticism - I asked to help change the system. If you don’t want to assist with that or can’t provide any good ideas on how to do that please feel free to move along with your day.
@2plustrio - Again, I have no issue with a lottery. That is what it seems to be and we drew a losing ticket.
I would be fine with that IF that is what they portrayed it as. I have heard this for years that that is what they do but they (falsely) claim they look at everyone application thoroughly and it is a "holistic review and that is a LIE I want exposed.
That was my original question after all this back and forth is how to best expose this system for what it is - a lottery.
You posted on CC and I can respond and you can ignore.
BYU is private. You are not allowed to apply to any private universities when you apply ED to Brown, or any other private college that offers ED. So you are at fault.
It will be hard to change the system when you behavior is not ethical. I’m surprised her guidance counselor let her apply to Brown, because the GC should have been aware that your D had already applied to BYU. So someone dropped the ball, but it wasn’t BYU.
@Connecticut814 It doesn’t matter that she applied in August. The GC would have had to send her info in, should have known that BYU is private, and should have never let her apply to Brown ED until a decision came back from BYU. She could have withdrawn her app to BYU until she had her response from Brown.
@kidzncatz - yes, I agree that I think that is our best option. She should get the best financial aid or scholarship - although I asked USU and they haven’t released the #'s yet so we don’t know until mid march.
she did apply though and get in so that’s going to have to be her school I think.
I do want to (anger aside) work on reforming the system with BYU. Trust me, there are posts like mine all over Instagram.
Kids with 4.0, top 3 in their class -one girl had 450 hours of community service logged in high school and she was rejected (4.0 great SAT’s all that too)
Even my kid didn’t do that!! I would welcome constructive ideas on how to reform BYU’s system. It’s been broken for years.
@Lindagaf - we applied to BYU in late August the day their application window opened, BEFORE the Brown window opened. Again, this has nothing to do with my initial question on reforming the system.
You seem to be caught up in trying to point fingers at us for doing something wrong but how does that exactly help again?
A holistic approach is more subjective. You feel your daughter is perfect. The school may look at her application and see it as monotone or lacking personality. You like to refer to this subjective review as a “lottery system”. Many good students get denied from their dream schools and are left to wondering why. Many excellent students applications are boring or too “vanilla” and get wait listed or declined.
BYU and the other colleges are not lying to anyone. No college in the world has stats that say “get over a 3.75 and you can go here”. They have a right to review an application and say no based on it not fitting the colleges needs at the time. Read through this forum and you will find thousands of shocked parents and students wondering why they werent accepted.
If the school called up your daughter and told her she was denied due to her lack of academic future goals would you view that as a valid answer? In the end, I dont believe that you would believe anything the school told you at this point. I dont believe you could take the criticism constructively.
As you said, your daughter is not ever going to BYU. I dont feel you will get enough followers to log a formal complaint to BYU legally. I dont feel BYU’s admissions process is discriminatory. You’ve voiced your anger and frustration. You need to reroute your focus on your daughter and helping to raise up her self confidence again and find an awesome plan B.
Did you send her ecclesiastical endorsement when you applied? That would definitely explain why a well qualified applicant would get outright rejected like that. If you did, well…I’m not really a big fan of BYU anyway. It’s the only place where the church can mess up your future as part of the repentance process.
I am very sorry for your disappointment. I think a lot of people are frustrated with college admissions and the lack of transparency. Take the College Admissions Scandal for instance. I am thankful this didn’t happen to my kids. They got in where I thought they should have, and were declined where I thought they would be. I think reaching out to your GC and Bishop are a good idea. Meanwhile, accept a spot elsewhere and look to transfer. Good luck.
Finding it a bit odd that a devout Mormon hellbent on avoiding the contaminating influence of campus culture would use language like “****hole” and “suck” and just sound so generally devoid of Christian humility. And I’m an atheist who is easily convinced that extremely religious people can be hypocritical. This is just very trolly. I hope I’m right for the sake of the child that would be impacted by this.
Is it possible that the rejection from BYU was due to the ED application at Brown? Do private universities see where else you have applied and/or how you have applied due to feeling financial aid documents? If that is the reason, you would have your answer and not need to reform the system.
@CheddarcheeseMN on the one hand, I’m glad you flagged this thread b/c it’s becoming heated and the exchanges unpleasant. On the other hand…it’s fantastically outrageous and it’s been a great exercise in “well, at least I didn’t do THAT” when evaluating my parenting methods. And it’d distracting me from cleaning my kitchen on my day ff. Carry on…
But one more thing…
To the OP…I hope you can get past this and move on for the sake of your kid. i’m not sure I’ve heard her voice in any of this and I think that’s what those responders are trying to say. In the end, it has to be about her, not you. I don’t know if those who have responded feel there is really a system to fight. The college application process may not be fair to all but to most of us, it’s not our hill to die on. You may not get anyone here on your team, so to speak. Maybe others in your church will jump on this train.
Finally—my daughter, her friends and many others have gone to non-religious institutions of higher learning, had fun, found safe and engaging things to do and have-not all been date raped and entered AA. Food for thought when making broad generalizations…
OP, in post 91, you said that 3 different teachers told her to draft her own LOR. I just don’t think that is typical as you have said. I think it’s a flag that the teachers did not want to write an LOR for her. I also think it can be obvious when this is done. I have interviewed people for jobs who provided LORs, and they often sound off. Not genuine. I’m guessing that was the case here.
I also want to point out - when your daughter applied ED, it required authorization from you and from the GC. I don’t recall the wording, but it was very clear, and very serious, when I approved that. This wasn’t some vague thing that you could easily miss.
You also didn’t answer, have you declined the Brown offer?
Does anyone else find it odd that the OP claims to be a parent yet theres multiple references in her posts to personally speaking to other students about their applications? Also more than once OP references posting on social media such as Instagram.
Im sorry but as a parent, I dont have in depth personal conversations with other kids about their college admission essays or applications. And I most certainly dont obsess about how announcing my kids future college looks on social media.
All in all this is odd. Again, I hope the female young adult in question knows she is smart and has worth and that she can spread her wings and fly just as far at many colleges.
“BYU is private. You are not allowed to apply to any private universities when you apply ED to Brown, or any other private college that offers ED. So you are at fault.”
Actually, I don’t think there is any rule that says you can’t apply to private schools if you apply to Brown ED so long as your applications to those other schools are non-binding (i.e., RD or EA). That said, a lot of the things OP is saying don’t add up, including:
-Daughter has top notch stats and EC’s and was rejected by BYU (a school with a 70% admission rate for female applicants).
-Daughter, OP and tutor wrote LOR and teacher just signed off on it.
-OP casually mentions far into the thread that daughter got into Brown ED (really?)
-OP has major issues with LDS church, but seems convinced that BYU is the only school in the universe that is worth attending.
