<p>We sent deposit via email to school A on Friday after putting a lot of pressure on our daughter to come up with a decision. Now she says it is the wrong school and can't believe she chose school A over school B. Since it is not yet May 1... can we get out of it? Even if we forfeit the deposit... is this considered unethical?</p>
<p>I don't see how it could be considered unethical, if you inform the school she will not be attending as soon as possible, then send a new deposit to school B, and be prepared to forfeit the deposit at school A. </p>
<p>It would be unethical to intentionally send deposits to multiple schools in order to hold space to take longer - say - over the summer - to think things through and make a decision. What you have done so far is not unethical, providing you inform school A about the change in plans as soon as possible.</p>
<p>You may even be able to get your deposit back.</p>
<p>Make sure, though, that your daughter isn't just experiencing "cold feet," which is very common after making a decision. Talk with her about why she chose A in the first place and why she wants to choose B now. She could just be panicking, so take an hour and discuss it before taking action.</p>
<p>I also don't understand what the hurry was. Didn't she have until May 1? Many people aren't confident about their decisions until they've pondered up to the last minute.</p>
<p>If she really has changed her mind, she could choose another college. The only cost is that of your deposit. That, however, isn't that much compared to the stress and costs of transferring.</p>
<p>If she just sent the deposit in Friday, you also probably could cancel the check, and have your D e-mail them that she has changed her mind.</p>
<p>I'm guessing this was paid by credit card since it transacted in email - you could probably just ask your credit card company to void the transaction...</p>
<p>What are we talking about here, $500's vs a four year committment of many thousands of dollars? This is absolutely no big deal unless the family EFC is less than a few thousand dollars.</p>
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I also don't understand what the hurry was. Didn't she have until May 1? Many people aren't confident about their decisions until they've pondered up to the last minute.
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Some students are the type who could just continue to vascilliate forever and really need a push to get to a final decision. I don't think it's necessarily inappropriate for parents to put some pressure on a week before the deadline, depending on the particular attitude of the kid.</p>
<p>Was School B already sent a "no?" If so, I'd make sure that school B still has an open spot (and will still accept her) before reversing things at School A... Most of my son's schools said that he could get his deposit back if he changed his mind before May 1 so I think changing to a no isn't the problem.</p>
<p>I worried a bit about this very problem for my son - afraid of buyer's remorse. I told him not to respond to his 2nd choice when he sent back his "no" cards to his other choices. He finally sent in his commitment card this week to his 1st choice after his FA was increased. I asked him this weekend if he had any regrets - told him there was still time to change schools. But he surprised me. He said he basically decided the night decisions were announced and he hasn't looked back. Tonight he went online and officially said "no" to his 2nd choice.</p>
<p>Make sure you get your money in to School B on time. I would make a phonecall first thing Monday, to School B, followed by an e-mail to the person you spoke with, confirming that D is indeed attending School B, and that the deposit is on its way.</p>
<p>Call your credit card company and void the charges to School A. They will want an explanation too, as they don't want people purchasing flat screen T.V.s and coming home to cancel the charge; but it shouldn't be a problem at all.</p>
<p>There is no reason to forfeit your deposit if you are not attending.</p>
<p>You can probably cancel the check.</p>
<p>Most of them if you notify the admissions director in writing, that may include email or fax, not sure, no problem. I think this is not as uncommon as you think. The main thing is to make sure she goes where she wants and feels like it is a fit. If it cost you $200 DEPOSIT, big deal. She probably would reimburse you for your loss.</p>
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I also don't understand what the hurry was. Didn't she have until May 1? Many people aren't confident about their decisions until they've pondered up to the last minute.
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</p>
<p>I agree with Corranged's explanation(post #7), and another reason for some students to make (relatively) hasty decisions is overcrowded housing on several campuses. A number of colleges put pressure on admitted students to send in their deposits as quickly as possible to avoid being placed in a "forced triple" or in "supplemental housing"(i.e. converted study lounges). That happened to be the case with at least three of the schools that my daughter applied to(and they happened to be top choices of hers).
BTW, my D also changed her mind after initially deciding upon a school. We did end up losing the deposit, however it was a relatively small amount--especially when compared to the cost(financial and time-wise)of transferring schools. Good luck to your D, sgc123.</p>
<p>With full benefit of hindsight it was a great idea to rush the decision. If she had waited until the last minute to make the decision she wouldn't have had time to change her mind. Sometimes you have to try the shoe on to realize it doesn't fit.</p>
<p>I understand that stopping payment on a check can hurt your credit rating, so beware.</p>
<p>Ha ha--we were still visiting campuses up until 2 days ago. Today is my son's decision day and tomorrow I'll send it out (for 2 of them, it has to be RECEIVED by May 1, so I'd have to overnight it). If it's one of the other 4, it just has to be postmarked May 1, leaving a little more room for procrastination and/or second thoughts. Though I can't really call it procrastination in his case, since we just finished the visits. It's a lot to process in a short time. I have to guess the vacillation means the options are pretty much equally good, though.</p>
<p>Don't cancel the charge on your credit card. I don't believe that this is an appropriate reason to do so, and you'll have to go through the appeal process with the card company and probably lose anyway. Just eat the deposit at School A.</p>
<p>And I agree with asking School B first if her spot & FA are still available.</p>
<p>I've been thinking about your son, Bethie. Good luck to him. I'm sure he will make an excellent choice. DD was in that unenviable position last week. Somehow, everyone got through it.</p>