<p>I came across this forum, and I thought it might help me.
I'm a second semester freshman who is extremely depressed at Tulane. I feel I haven't made any "real" friends at Tulane this year. The majority of the student body is of the north eastern type. Sometimes I feel like I've spoken to the same generic person over and over and over and over and over.<br>
There's somehow no diversity here at Tulane in regards to the student body. People here do two things (1) Get drunk at the Boot (2) Get drunk in the dorm. I'm sick of so many people drinking around me. It's just way out of control here.
This has made me feel extremely depressed. I've joined clubs, gone out with people from the dorm. . etc., but I'm just not clicking with the people here. </p>
<p>My parents are not allowing me to transfer from Tulane unless I go to a state school in my home state. My parents aren't allowing me to transfer to schools out of my home state out because of this whole Tulane situation. This really sucks because Tulane was my #1 choice, but I'm regretting my decision now. So, I need to somehow adjust to life at Tulane. I NEED SOME ADVICE to help me adjust to life at Tulane. All I yearn for is to hop on a plane and go HOME. </p>
<p>Should I give Tulane another chance next semester or just transfer to my state school? The deadline for transferring to my state school is in next week.</p>
<p>Go make an appointment with a counselor at the student health center and talk about what you are feeling. You could also send in the transfer application to keep your options open. Good luck.</p>
<p>I am not trying to minimize what you perceive, that is what it is. I agree with jym, getting help from someone trained in this area sounds appropriate. But the generalizations about the students in terms of their “type” and their drinking is just off base. Of course it can feel that way once you get in a certain state, and being in a party dorm (if you are) doesn’t help.</p>
<p>I don’t know if you were brought up in a certain religion, but there are groups for virtually all practices near campus. That might help. If that doesn’t fit, there are other options regarding organizations that have more serious missions, including those involved in community service.</p>
<p>If none of this appeals to you or you really cannot see viable options, then it sounds like being closer to home at the state school is a potentially good move. But I suspect you will look back in a few years and wonder if you really made a full effort to make this work. Reach out for help.</p>
<p>Frankly, you touched a ‘big’ nerve with me, that is my chief concern about Tulane for my D, who is very much a fun-loving girl, but it seems that drinking and partying are the only things people can talk about. I read horrifying posts on Studentreviews.com and my stomach is tied in knots at the idea of letting her attend there, despite the scholarship. Thank you for being frank about this.</p>
<p>My experience is that Studentreviews is usually filled with posts by students who share negative things about schools. Many schools have a work hard-play hard approach. This is not true just for Tulane.</p>
<p>Absolutely what jym says is true, gigica. Sure, New Orleans is a fun place. So is Miami, and NYC, and lots of college towns. 18-22 year-olds party and have fun, everywhere. I can only tell you that my D has a large group of friends that have a great time and either don’t drink at all or drink very moderately, and from talking to many parents of Tulane students both via this site and from other sources, there are lots of others that take their studies quite seriously and are disciplined enough to separate the partying from the studying.</p>
<p>Let’s put it this way. If all Tulane students did was drink themselves silly and party, then why are so many getting into great med schools, law schools, grad schools, and getting good jobs? One can choose to write this off as a Tulane “booster”'s opinion, but I feel quite positive that the amount of drinking and partying is no worse at Tulane than at all but a handful of other schools. I have seen that first hand at many during visits, and hear much the same from students going to other schools. I definitely think that being in New Orleans, with both its reputation and warmer climate than most, makes people notice it more. It matches with their preconceived notions.</p>
<p>I agree with FC. I don’t care where you go to school, if you put a large group of 18-22 year olds together, there will be drinking and partying - and lots of it. That doesn’t mean it is 24/7 for most, and it also doesn’t mean that there won’t be plenty who abstain. It really doesn’t have anything to do with being in New Orleans either. I have a very straight-laced D who was shocked at the amount of partying she encountered her freshman year at another highly ranked university which does not have a reputation for excessive partying. I know when I tell people that my S is at Tulane in New Orleans, I get that “look.” You know the look: like “I bet he’s having a wild time!” Tulane is a college that happens to be located in New Orleans. New Orleans and Tulane are so much more than the image that Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras project. Is there a lot of partying at Tulane? Yes. But once again, it is college. There’s a lot of studying that goes on too. Most of us are paying a substantial amount of money to send our children there, even with generous scholarships in our pockets. If our kids weren’t getting a great education in the process of having all that fun, I would think we wouldn’t see the increase in retention rates that Tulane has experienced in recent years. I think Tulane provides a very comfortable balance of work and play.</p>
<p>I’m down with the phrase “Work hard, play hard.” </p>
<p>But it becomes annoying when all the “play” consists of going out at night and drinking. That’s the issue here. I’m fine with drinking in general, but the it becomes an issue when that’s ALL you do. The “play” culture consists of getting intoxicated the majority of the time.<br>
And just because other schools are doing it also, doesn’t mean it should be acceptable here. </p>
<p>It’s funny how this thread turned into a debate over drinking at Tulane. I don’t know if that means something! haha.</p>
<p>My middle daughter found much the same atmosphere at UVA her freshman year. She loves to go out dancing but is not a drinker. She would go out with dorm friends and be the only sober person half way into the night and it got very old. I hate to hear this is also an issue at Tulane. Our youngest daughter will be a first year in the fall at Tulane is also not a party girl. For our daughter the best thing she did was join an outdoors club. She found the members much less likely to be drunk while white water kayaking or rock climbing! If this type of club does not appeal to you I would suggest looking at what is available that would not go well with alcohol and give it a try. She also has gotten very involved in medical research and volunteering at a local clinic…again not activities for drinkers.
I know it can be very hard to find your place when you feel like the only sober person on a Thursday night…just remember there are many other students just like you looking for friends.
Good Luck!</p>
<p>I don’t know how you can say that when you made such a wild overstatement to start it out. What’s actually funny is that there are so many posts on this forum over the years from students that say they don’t drink or do drugs. It is a lot more prevalent than people think. Of course, people that are drunk stand out, people that are at a play or at a museum or at a concert or playing a sport or just hanging with friends don’t tend to stand out so much.</p>
<p>FC, i had the exact same thoughts about their statement, i completely agree. also if u think tulane drinks soo much more than the average college kids, then uve never been to college</p>
<p>Clearly you are caught up in one of our famous freshman dorms. You should consider making other type of friends. I personally know lots of people who don’t drink or drink casually a few times a semester. You should go to SoHo, Mayer, or Wall next year if possible.</p>
<p>My D was going through the same thing in late February/early March. She felt that students are not engaged in classes which was very disappointing to her and their main interests are partying 4-5 times a week. I am in the midst of reading the book “Mindset” and the author states that there is a VERY high rate of depression/sadness among college students in February and March. The newness has worn off and summer feels far away. My D seems to be happier now and is looking forward to her classes next year and to getting out of the freshman dorm environment. I would recommend checking out the outdoor trips Reilly offers.</p>
<p>Yes she has. She has met a couple of her favorite people through them. During fall break, she went on a backpacking trip and has also done some rockclimbing with them. There are reasonably priced and they range from 1/2 day to several days (over breaks).</p>
<p>Fallen Chemist – It’s funny because this thread has been turned into something it isn’t: a debate over the acceptability of drinking at Tulane just because other possibly prestigious universities are doing it also.<br>
If you guys want to discuss that, please do so in another thread I don’t want to argue over whether there’s a “drinking problem” at Tulane or not, because that simply wasn’t my original question. The last thing I wanted was to stir a debate on an online forum when I was trying to seek help. </p>
<p>Thanks for the suggestions everyone and to the numerous people who have sent me private messages (those helped me out a ton!)</p>
<p>I honestly don’t think you are hearing yourself or reading what everyone else is saying correctly at all. You claimed you were unhappy and one of the big reasons was that you claimed all Tulane students do is drink. Read your own words. That isn’t a debate about acceptability, in fact that debate never took place. The responses questioned the validity of that statement and gave you numerous suggestions, most of them only valid if your premise wasn’t true. If it was, then there was no debate to be had because clearly if you are the only one not drinking to excess, there is no hope. As far as what goes on at other universities, it wasn’t to justify anything that happens at Tulane but to make sure you knew it wasn’t likely to be very different no matter where you went.</p>
<p>In any case, it is good you got some advice you found helpful. I hope it works out well for you.</p>
<p>You wanted to make sure I knew drinking “wasn’t likely to be very different no matter where you went.”</p>
<h1>1: You just can’t generalize that drinking is the same at every university. You said I am generalizing that all Tulane students drink in excess. Yet, here you are making a generalization yourself. Read your own words.</h1>
<p>Tulane330:<br>
“I’m fine with drinking in general, but it becomes an issue when that’s ALL you do.”</p>
<h1>2: I clearly realize that drinking happens. I said it many posts ago. I am absolutely okay with drinking, and I am well aware that it happens at many universities. The issue becomes when ALL you do is drink. In other words, I think there’s an EXCESS of drinking at Tulane.</h1>
<p>Either way, the internet can’t solve my problem. I’ve sought additional help from a counselor at school. Thanks to everyone.</p>
I don’t want to argue over whether there’s a “drinking problem” at Tulane or not, because that simply wasn’t my original question. The last thing I wanted was to stir a debate on an online forum when I was trying to seek help. </p>