Depression and a Phone Call

Parent Cafe
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<p>What’s wrong with widening the lens to consider other professions in health where your current GPA, alma mater (soon) and upswing in grades would be good enough? I’m not a STEM person, so forgive me if my selections are off, but… paramedic (which is higher than an EMT; paramedic requires EMT + 6 months ambulance work, then a year of actual paramedic training. After that, you’re good to go. Every day, you’re hands-on saving lives, administering medicines in consultation with the ER room as you speed along. Since Vietnam, the amount of medicine occurring on an ambulance has only increased, once the military began working on patients on those choppers on the way to MASH units. They do much more than just transport people.</p>

<p>Also: nursing, public health planning, mortuary science, some laboratory aspect of medical forensics… </p>

<p>I don’t want to take away a long-held dream if your passion is to be a doctor. Others are outlining pathways. I’m wondering if you have too much tunnel-vision about Doctor as the sole profession you’d consider.</p>

22

<p>What about becoming a physician’s assistant? Good pay - not like a doctor, but pretty good. You could still go to med school later.</p>

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<p>Yup, karma has a way of doing that.</p>

<p>Nephew is a physician’s assistant and loves it. He had always thought he’d wanted to go to med school, but he married and decided that the med school grind and the life of a doctor wasn’t good for the family life he had in mind. The program is pretty intense though.</p>

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<p>Yeah, I think I might have to do some soul-searching to see if being a doctor is really right for me. I mean I don’t have a noble reason for going into it–just medicine and science interest me, it’s a high paying job, and it’s something that’s very respectable in society. </p>

<p>Looking at what I wrote maybe I’m going about this the wrong way.</p>

<p>But still, it feels like I wasted so much time and money (lots of debt on my shoulders now) while people like my high school’s val are following their dreams without any debt, both from college and med school. I know I’m comparing myself to the val again and he earned it, but he’s living a dream, you know? </p>

<p>I wish I thought beforehand about paying back my debts. All that was in my head at the time was stupid rankings, stupid prestige, and the stupid idea that I would magically pay this all back and med school costs as some $500k+/yr-making, highly-respected, world-renowned doctor/surgeon.</p>

<p>My parents can help me now for some of the debt but I’ll have to foot most of the bill. Any suggestions about the debt issue?</p>

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<p>With 60K in debt, a B.A. with a chem major, a respectable (if not stellar) GPA from a name-recognized university, and parents able to help with some of that debt, it could be much worse.</p>

<p>I do have a few suggestions; take whatever feels right to you.</p>

<p>Make a bee-line to the Career Center and see what they recommend for a chem major. Move to where the work is, even if the city isn’t stylin’ </p>

<p>If you don’t yet own a car, consider working in a city just because it has good public transportation or is bike-friendly. Saves you thousands annually on car costs, insurance, repairs, and the occasional parking ticket. If you own a car, imagine selling it and set up a life without it.</p>

<p>Look for work next that includes health benefits if you’re not going to be covered on your parents’ plan in the coming years (ask them, they can find out). Sometimes it’s even worth it to work for a slightly lower salary rate if health benefits are included. Find out what percentage of your salary will go to pay for participation in the health plan of that company. Do all the math on benefits before you decide to take a job offer.</p>

<p>Student loan debt can be paid off over a long time period. My oldest just looks at that monthly amount as if it were another monthly utility bill; he doesn;t owe as much as you do but he works at very low paying jobs (actor). Point is: don’t go wild emotionally everytime that bill comes due. Think of it as your worst utility bill, and cut the check.</p>

<p>Try to live with a roommate or two, rather than insist you must live alone. Depending on your family, don’t rule out the idea of going home to live as long as you have a solid job (read some of the current threads on “boomerang”) and are out of the house to work. You’ll save a fortune that way, if your folks keep the rent reasonable as it’s just a bedroom. </p>

<p>If you can’t find a job quickly (to me that means by September) with that chem degree and the B.A., don’t be a snoot about interim work. Take a job as a barista or anything else while you’re looking. Everyone understands this economy, and you look better working than not working to the next employer.</p>

<p>You’ll have a grace period of some months right after college before the first student loan bill comes due, but know in advance what it will be. If you need to consolidate several student loans, go through that paperwork; it’s worth the effort. If you hit terrible times re: finding employment, you can sometimes make deferral plans if you talk with them. The interest keeps growing but it gets the monkey off your back if you’re ever without any work for a duration of time. </p>

<p>I’m sorry that none of the other work suggested above makes nearly the salary of a doctor, but you will get through this if you just keep moving forward. With more life experience, you’ll soon discover that people accord respect to others for a wide range of jobs and careers.
My DIL teaches children with autism and will never become wealthy, but oh you should hear the intake of breath when she tells others that his her daily task! My spouse is a clergy, and while we can’t afford what some of our congregants can, the respect for his life of continuous learning and steady community service provides some status among wealthier professionals. You can also take on my FIL’s philosophy that any job done well and honestly is worthy of respect. He taught my H to watch every work crew for that quality of pride. That is a dignifying attitude to take towards all working people, across the boards.</p>

<p>If you end up continuing to try for medicine as a doctor, you may win out also. If that goes by the boards, and you really do the soul-searching you’re indicating, you’ll be the better person for this episode in your life. I know it’s disappointing but you’'ll make it through.</p>

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<p>Join Peace Corps?
You might get a deferral on your loans (depends on what kind of loans they are), add some respectable volunteer work to your resume, and possibly see some other reasons for going into medicine.</p>

<p>btw, most doctors don’t make anywhere near 500K/year–only a few types of surgeons would average that after years of experience.</p>

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<p>Have you thought about applying to osteopathy schools? The neighbor girl wanted to be a pediatrician. Went to University of Iowa, graduated with a 3.9 GPA in Biomedical engineering. Got a 30 on MCAT. Was published a few times from research she did at various interships/jobs over the summers. She got interviews for med schools but no offers. She felt she was dinged because she had no international volunteer experience as she had to pay for all of her schooling so she worked and studied all of the time and interviewers always asked why she hadn’t been to Africa or South America. She applied and got accepted to osteopathy program. She now has a thriving practice. Take your time to explore every option!</p>

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<p>No offense, but I wonder if you are still chasing prestige with your goal of med school/career. You are also still as competitive as you were in high school, based on the envy expressed in your post.</p>

<p>Have you learned anything from the story you wrote on here? </p>

<p>I hope so. I think the real problem is deeper than partying and GPA. Maybe you should try talking with someone and try to get some things resolved. Otherwise, you will keep chasing and whether your win or lose, you won’t feel good about yourself.</p>

<p>The point is to learn to be true to yourself, corny as it sounds, and stop relying on externals like name schools, GPA’s, or prestigious careers for your self-esteem.</p>

29

<p>OP has keeping up with the Jones’s syndrome before even finding a job. Not a good sign. Forget the valedictorian. He’s worked his ass off. You haven’t. Moaning about how he has “the good life” isn’t going to help your situation at all. It sounds like you already know how to approach your situation, you just don’t want to accept it.</p>