<p>^^
People who have a chemical imbalance in their brains have a hard time taking this advice. Depression is not an attitude problem. It’s a medical condition.</p>
<p>Life is a medical condition. It would all be better if we sat in hospital beds and smoked marijuana. /facepalm</p>
<p>Another reason for the increase in students with “mental illness” as well as medical conditions, on college campuses, is the effects of the Americans with Disabilities Act, passed in 1990. Families have raised their kids in home communities and schools, with more expectations of accommodations enabling a “level playing field.” Colleges have different, lesser, legal requirements for accommodating students, but legal precedents are being established all the time by families who are experienced in the ADA approach.</p>
<p>Colleges now have disability offices, and administrative consciousness has been raised, both by social change and by legal liability concerns. Colleges are also geared to expanding diversity, which includes folks with various types of disabilities. It’s part of equal opportunity, and admissions offices may even favor those who have managed to overcome or manage some of these obstacles.</p>
<p>I do think there may be distinctions between true brain disorders, such as OCD, ADD, schizophrenia, bipolar illness, BDD, and certain depressions, versus emotional adjustment problems. Some kids have problems that are going to be chronic and long lasting (the former group) and others will have problems that are transient and situational.</p>
<p>For a great book on schizophrenia in academia, check out Elyn Sacks’ book “The Center Cannot Hold.” For bp, Kay Redfield Jamison’s book “An Unquiet Mind.” Both women are incredibly accomplished but had a very rough time. Reading these books would convince anyone that students with even severe psychiatric conditions can achieve and contribute a lot on campus.</p>
<p>As to colleges acting in loco parentis, if parents have any concerns about their child, make sure that the son or daughter registers with the disabilities office, tells a staff person in their residence (if willing, this can be hard), and most importantly, that they sign paperwork allowing the school and health services to contact you. In cases of danger to self and others, I do believe both colleges and parents are freer to intervene, legally.</p>
<p>The hardest situations come when the student is temporarily impaired by a medical or psychiatric condition, but hasn’t signed papers for parental involvement. In that case, when there is not yet danger to self or others, the parents will just have to wait to hear from the child, not the college.</p>
<p>This fall, our daughter was sent to the hospital by the college health services, and, for a few hours, I could not find her. She finally called from the hospital. I did not fault the college or the hospital, at all.</p>
<p>p.s. LasMA, did your daughter’s turnaround involve medication?</p>
<p>Many years ago, back in the dark ages when I was 18 there were many kids who never attended college and they went out and got jobs. Today that same type of kid realizes that a decent paying job does not exist with only a highschool diploma. There were other 18 years olds who just weren’t ready to attend a college where you packed up everything you owed and transported it into a tiny room that you shared with another person for four years. </p>
<p>The family dynamics were different and all of this talk about “independance and growing up” on a college campus was not the norm. It was something that the wealthy did or the really talented gifted kid somewhere in the neighborhood did. Nobody knew who that kid was because we did’nt associate with him/her. These kids were the unusual back in my time at least, for a kid growing up in the boroughs of Brooklyn.</p>
<p>Fast forward to today and every kid knows that what is expected of them, is that they go out into the world and live on their own at the tender age of 18. If you are ready…great…if you aren’t…you learn as you go. So what happens to the kid who needs to have more time to grow but is out on their own? They make alot of stupid mistakes that are both inconsistent with their family values and their own personal beliefs. These are the kids who will either deal or not deal…learn and grow or crash and burn. The pressure today for a highschool kid at 17 or 18 is far greater than my generation ever knew. We had more choices and whats more we had more support by our parents to do as we felt we needed.
If you did’nt want to go away your parents let you know you had a great alternative by attending a commutable school. Most of the kids I grew up with that went to college ended up going to graduate school in other cities or parts of the country…when they were ready. No one even gave it a second thought. By then they were older, ready and secure in who they were as a young adult. You just can’t compare the mind of some 18 year olds to that of a 22 year old. The young people today are expected to be grown up long before their brain is fully matured.</p>
<p>Momma three, great post! Thank you!</p>
<p>This may even be one of the reasons for the increase in emotional problems on campus (and also drinking, drugs, promiscuity, all of which seem to be used by kids to blot out the pain of transition).</p>
<p>I read an article somewhere that said that 1/3 are ready academically, 1/3 are ready emotionally (and these two groups don’t coincide), and 1/3 are ready in both ways, which may even be high.</p>
<p>I think we need to go back to the days you describe, in many ways, for some kids anyway. Nothing wrong with people depending on each other, kids on parents, parents on kids (the same thing is happening at the other end of life: seniors are not living with family much anymore), friends on friends. The net result is both financial and emotional stress for everyone: it saved money to commute, and was a more gradual way to grow up.</p>
<p>Although two of our kids are launched, one isn’t, and I often have a house full of kids who are in limbo, not feeling ready to go, but without good alternatives (many of these kids have few resources financially, and are not doing a “gap year,” but consider themselves a bit lost, while they work in fast food restaurants).</p>
<p>I also wish more attention would be paid to alternative paths, and that “opportunity for all” included the right not to attend college but still earn a living and be productive - without being constantly told to "go to college (young people who waitress, for instance, hear this constantly). </p>
<p>And I have seen so many kids come home to our small town, after trying college some distance away, to live at home and attend locally. They seem to thrive.</p>
<p>I don’t think colleges in general are significantly more or less involved with the students as compared to my day. I know my alma mater has not changed its resources much. It is a thing of wonderment to me that the colleges are not as linked into the medical resources more considering they are dealing with young adults most of whom are living away from home for the first time. If your kid has ANY kind of medical issue, the college is usually uninvolved in getting him/her treated. Actually, the mental health resources on campus are usually far superior to the student health clinic which are far below standards of those in some of the worst parts of the worst cities for health care. Usually manned by a nurse who is not much better than the regular school nurses but doesn’t have a parent to call so does even less. </p>
<p>When the schools stopped involvement in behavioral issues, except in certain extremes which the law forces them to be involved, they stopped providing other services that required more involvement in a student’s life. A lot of this is due to privacy laws. </p>
<p>The college student is a strange chimera indeed in terms of adulthood status. Most are dependent on parental money,. In fact the whole system is such that it forces this dependence. Yet , we parents are not entitled to medical, behavioral and academic information on our kids. The kids are legally adults in some ways, and not in others. They legally can’t drink, but can sign a contract.</p>
<p>momma-three, I agree. That is an excellent post. Thank you!!</p>
<p>I’m sorry I don’t think that people are required to grow up faster than in previous generations. Let’s use an example: Frank McCourt who ended school at the age of 13 and had to go to work and steal to support his family. [Frank</a> McCourt: Facts, Discussion Forum, and Encyclopedia Article](<a href=“Page Not Found”>Frank McCourt - AbsoluteAstronomy.com) And that is less stressful than today’s teens??</p>
<p>Children are often confused to manage their time between study and hang out with their friends. This confusion may end in depression since there are always conflics when they cannot balance their hours. Therefore, parents should guide their children in it…:-)</p>
<p>[Students</a> Time Management](<a href=“http://students-timemanagement.com%5DStudents”>http://students-timemanagement.com)</p>
<p>Depression and anxiety disorders are not about confusion or time management or stress. They are not about boredom, or not feeling fulfilled. They are not about growing up too fast, or staying dependent too long.</p>
<p>True clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It can sometimes be triggered by a precipitating event or condition, but it doesn’t arise in healthy students under normal college conditions any more than diabetes arises in healthy students who eat a lot of sugar. There is a physical element involved. Same with anxiety disorders. Some people can learn to cope with talk-based therapy, and some conditions are self-limiting. Others need medicine to re-balance their brain chemistry. Many people need both.</p>
<p>If you don’t understand this, you belittle those who truly suffer from clinical depression, anxiety disorder, or other mental illness.</p>
<p>cptofthehouse nailed it. College students are technically adults, but are still financially dependent on their parents. They can sign a contract but they can’t drink (legally). They’re in a weird quasi-adult-quasi-child stage that makes it very difficult for even the most loving, attentive parent to help them</p>
<p>Some campus counseling centers are excellent. And having that resource right on campus and usually available for free is a godsend that isn’t available to the general population. Having someone to talk to at no cost, who will evaluate your problem and determine if you are stressed, frustrated, need help managing your time, OR if your problem is more severe (depression, anxiety disorder, etc) and has a chemical component that needs to be addressed medically is a great thing. </p>
<p>And according to the article the OP posted, more students who have serious mental health issues in high school are getting the assistance they need in high school to succeed and go to college - where they still need medical assistance to deal with their issues - just like a diabetic student or a student with asthma needs a health center that is available to help them with their medical issues.</p>
<p>This is a great thread with a lot of good information. I agree with many of the view points given here. I don’t agree that kids are expected to grow up a lot faster these days. I think it’s very much the opposite for the vast majority of kids. We tend to accommodate and pamper and hover over our kids more. I think our generation has been far more focused on our children than previous ones have. Many of us revolve our lives around our children. </p>
<p>Colleges will put more attention to mental health and other such issues when they start cutting seriously into their bottom line.</p>
<p>My hypothesis:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Some students are undermedicated.</p></li>
<li><p>More students are overmedicated. Which includes that crap they buy at the convenience store and GNC.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>We, too, have a child who has experienced previous emotional instability, primarily during the period from Halloween through New years. For the past several years in high school she would go into a “black hole” during this period. Finally we figured out it was SAD, seasonal affective disorder. When she takes a low dose of Prozac (usually until March) she does better. However, she also has ADD so she has to take ADD meds, which don’t mix real well with Prozac. We’ve had to make choice between which to utilize. </p>
<p>Our D is now 18 and a home-school (had to pull her from public school after a bad episode in her junior year) student who attends the local CC full-time. She is doing great, will be done with her Freshman year in April. She is chomping at the bit to g o"away" to college next fall. </p>
<p>Her Dad and I are scared to death. Although she is very mature, there are just some things lacking, primarily responsibility to take care of her health with eating enough and regularly taking her meds. </p>
<p>So we TOLD her that she can either continue at the CC for another year while living at home, or she can attend one of the three local colleges (all within a 45-mile radius). We will visit her or she can visit us, alternating every weekend each month, to check up on her mental state…as we know by just looking at her and observing if things are going well or poorly. </p>
<p>Also, we TOLD her that if we are footing the bill, then we INSIST that the health Center/Student Resource Center have her permission (signature on file) to talk with us about her health and psychological state. She has agreed to that.</p>
<p>sorry, dup post</p>
<p>You have a good plan.</p>
<p>Chicabuena, my very good friend’s oldest daughter battled anorexia several times during her high school years. She still has to be very conscious of the fact that she has an eating disorder. When she was a senior and was looking at the college process, it broke my friend and her husband’s hearts to have to tell her that she had to commute to school for at least a year if they were paying for it because the chances that she was going to need close supervision were too high to risk sending her away to college. She was a top student and could have had a lot of options and she did not want to commute. </p>
<p>But she did and when she was permitted to move into the dorms her sophomore year and was told that she could transfer away for the next to year, she relapsed. Nearly died. Lost a year of school. Finished up after a year in an institution addressing her problem. She is in a PHD program at Columbia now and though lives in her own place, has to maintain close contact with family. She finally understands that this is essential for her health and maybe her life. Someone always needs to be aware of her problem and be eying her for signs of relapse so it can be caught early. Several of her peers with similar severity in this area have died. </p>
<p>So when you know you have a child that needs some supervision, you make those stipulations. It can be a physical, mental, emotional issue. It is not such a hardship to have to commute. Most kids have to commute. To go away to school is a privilege for the few and not the rite of passage that we make it out to be. It’s a wonderful option to have. So is the year abroad, the trip around the world, and ever so many things that are luxuries, pure and simple for those who can afford them in money and other situational issues. </p>
<p>My friend, has a very bright son who is in S4’s graduating class of this year. He has severe diabetes, and has been careless about his needs. The parents were ambivalent about this because really they too wanted him to be able to go where ever he wanted to go. Well, two kids in their support group have died and more have had some real problems. Their own son clinched his commuting status by drinking too much (yeah, typical for a 2nd term senior) and having a health crisis due to his insulin needs mixing with this episode. Sometimes as parents, we don’t want to invest in some things that just are too risky for us.</p>
<p>Pretty scary hearing about deaths due to these (physical, mental and emotional) issues. I don’t think that this topic is something that you run into in the usual college literature.</p>
<p>Cpt, Are you saying that two kids in a diabetes support group have died at college? This is pretty alarming. Our daughter has hard to manage type 1 diabetes, and every night she is in a dorm, I go to bed scared. But I left the school location decision up to her. Thankfully, she is an hour away, not 12 hours. (She has to get up to test both at 1 am and 3 am to stay safe).</p>
<p>Not to hijack the thread (or only briefly) I am curious how those kids died. Were they “dead in bed,” a term often used in diabetes magazines to describe overnight death from low blood sugar (which is not traceable by post-mortem testing.) Hours after alcohol, blood sugar can plummet. Was that a factor? Obviously, your post has affected me a bit.</p>
<p>As for kids growing up too fast, I think the point was that our society now has this ideal of a sudden separation from family at a certain age, which was not the case a few decades ago. This is not the same as growing up, which could involve working a full-time job, or getting married and having babies, while still at home, in years past. There is now a weird combination of over-involvement and push to independence, and they may even be related.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Very insightful and interesting observation.</p>
<p>I will go back and read the past posts but did read the first few pages. My S is not clinically depressed (I am actually a therapist) but he is certainly situationally depressed and, I think, in danger of missing enough classes and getting behind enough in his work that he will not be able to recuperate. I have worked in college counseling for a number of years, although long enough ago that I know I did not work with today’s issues. Yesterday I call both the counseling dept. (after S said he would but then backed out and he knew that if he did not that I would) and I talked with an Acedemic Dean. S is furious and feels that “this is why I never tell you anything”.
My DH was all supportive until S was upset and then it became “you are overeacting”. Well, if overeacting helps keeps a young man on his path then so be it. I absolutely feel intimidated by the idea that I acted as a “helicopter parent” as I actually am not, but realize that many parents may not be stepping up out of the same fear.</p>