Hi guys. I am a freshmen at Penn. I am an international student.
Since the new semester started I am kind of feeling sad, anxious and depressed. I don’t know why. I think it’s mostly because I am worried about my classes and about the upcoming work that comes with them (which is a lot). Last semester I actually did pretty well on my classes. Maybe I am too worried thinking that I will not be able to keep my good grades. Last semester I worked pretty hard and it’s possible now that I know the pain of studying hard and just afraid to do that again. Sorry if this sounds too weird.
And I don’t have many friends here. So I usually end up eating alone in the dining halls, taking classes alone. I think it also contributes to my anxiety and depression. How common is it for someone to dine and take classes alone? I didn’t join any clubs or activities, practically didn’t go to any parties. And I feel I don’t have any social life.
What would you say is the best way for me to feel better? I feel like I am the only one who is worried about my academics because everyone around me is really happy hanging out with their friends and blahblah.
The only thing I am telling myself is that it’s gonna last exactly 4 months and I will be done with it. I just feel so stressful. The winter break was soo good that it makes even more to dislike school work. I just can’t wait till May.
If you have any suggestions or some comforting words please share them with me! Anything can be helpful. I mean it doesn’t feel like an end of the world, but there is some anxiety and sadness that just won’t go away.
Hi there- I am sorry you are feeling this way. Feelings of anxiety and depression are very common across all US college campuses. My best advice is to make an appointment with Penn’s counseling services (CAPS http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/caps/) to speak with someone about what you are experiencing. Penn has invested a lot of time and money into creating an environment in which students feel supported when they’re feeling low and CAPS has an abundance of really great resources to help you out.
Beyond that, I would consider joining a low-key extracurricular activity that will have a very small time commitment that is focused around socializing. You mentioned you are an international student so I am sure there is an affinity group for the country from which you have matriculated or at least for students from the region of the world you’ve come from to get to know one another. You should consider joining those groups as they are often very welcoming and are focused specifically on fostering relationships with students that have similar backgrounds as a point of commonality as opposed to clubs that are dedicated to things like debate or student governance that would require more time and in which it might be harder to just make friends.
The last thing I can say is that while you may be having a rough time, things have a way of eventually getting better. Try to stay positive, exercise, eat right, get enough sleep, and keep in close contact with people whom you feel support you (family, friends from home, advisors on campus, etc). There is always a silver lining to a dark cloud- and the resources I have mentioned above can help you find it! Good luck in the upcoming semester
If a student goes to any Ivy and their sole priority is perfect grades, they will not be happy. Everyone needs social time and friends.
Penn has an amazing number of clubs and activities available. Get involved now at the beginning of the semester while students are more open to making friends.
You are off to a good start academically, and that is important. Now you need to take the time to make friends and get involved in activities that you like. Also taking time three times a week to go to the gym can really impact how you feel.
Understand that there may be lots of students who are in a similar situation. I’m sure counseling at Penn has helped lots of students in your situation and has a lot of experience with this type of thing. I’m sure they will be a good resource. It’s available to you, I’d encourage you to use it.
Join clubs, even if its just one! It will give you a sense of belonging, friendship, and being social. Make sure it’s something you’re actually passionate about, even if it is completely non-academic. I’m not in college, but I faced the same kind of issue transferring from a small-town public school to a huge private; joining clubs and sports was what got me through. Especially at a huge environment like Penn, make sure you have a foundation to fall back on; clubs and communities, and definitely counseling like the above comments said.
It sounds like you may be depressed. I definitely agree with the suggestion to go to the counseling center. Sometimes when you don’t know why you are feeling anxious or unhappy, it’s because there is no real reason. You might just have a chemical imbalance causing you to feel not yourself. That’s not to say that getting some physical exercise and seeking out social outlets will not help. You may also be feeling the impact of the change in seasons. Are you from a sunnier climate? You are now just past the shortest day of the year so your mood might improve as daylight increases. Good luck! Visit the counseling center and try sitting down at a lunch table with people who you don’t know and strike up a conversation. It will go better than you think!
I agree that the first step you absolutely need to take is to see a counselor. As soon as possible. It will help you to understand that what you are feeling is very normal and to develop a roadmap out of the depression. I agree that joining clubs is a good idea but I caution you that you have to go in with a resolve to stick with it even if initially it feels unfamiliar. Make sure to eat healthy and get enough sleep!
My other question is whether any of this has to do with limited winter light. It might be useful to get an ott light (a small lamp that provides the equivalent of full daylight) in your dorm.
What you are feeling is a very common second semester phenomenon. It’s the depths of winter and the allure and excitement of starting school has worn off. It’s easy to feel isolated and unsure and you have the added challenge of being away from home. When you see everyone around you having fun and being happy, what you don’t realize is that they are looking around the same as you and feeling the same insecurities. At some point along the way, you’ll find yourself in a get together where everyone shares stories of insecurity in college.
Please, take care of yourself! Check back and tell us how it goes.