Did you ever suggest your kids should seek degrees that would offer better paying jobs?

I disagree. I read “skewed” to be compared to average. No judgement as to how anyone should live his/her life. And this place no doubt skews toward the higher end of the income/wealth scale. Pointing that out though seems to make some people uncomfortable. Not sure exactly why though.

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Back to the subject of artists whose art is fundamentally who they are…I’ve been thinking of those performing artists who, for whatever reason(s), are unable to cobble together a sustainable life made up of some performance here, some there, some teaching, some XYZ activities related to their art and so on. Or perhaps they did and things dry up, or they get tired of the insecurity, and so they change direction.

Does that mean they never should have pursued their art in the first place, because it “didn’t work out”? People change direction all the time. Passions and priorities evolve. I don’t really see that as so different, in essence, from, for example, the highly paid financial or consulting folks who decide they’re tired of 100 hour weeks and move on to something else (other than the amount of money that was earned).

Interestingly, I had lunch today with an old friend, a retired nurse. Somehow the subject of careers came up. She stated, with firm conviction, that she always knew she wanted to be a nurse. “It’s who I am,” she said. Knowing her personality and values, I’d agree.

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Our daughter has no student loans and a tidy inheritance from her grandparents. But she has been working two jobs as a nurse most of the last two years ( at a hospital Covid unit and at a clinic). Why? Because nurses are needed, she’s young and has no family obligations. If not her, then who?

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@lettiriggi I agree with you. I know many young people who did go to college in the performing arts field and did it for a while. They were not able to sustain it, or otherwise, gave up or wanted more stability or some such, and switched fields and either got other jobs or went to grad school to pursue different career. None of them seem to regret having given their passion for performing arts a try. Some could not get used to the lifestyle (it involves always job hunting, so to speak as most jobs are not long term) and the uncertainty, or they just weren’t that successful doing it. But they tried it because they wanted to do it, and things changed. I don’t think this is just true of the arts. There are lotsa folks whose careers took turns and different pathways that were not a straight line. There are lots of young people too who majored in one thing in undergrad and went onto something else for grad school. My own kids followed a fairly straight line, with minor variations along the way in emphasis, but still in the same field of interest. But many take a more jagged path and so what? Change is OK! If not trying your dreams when young, then when? Sometimes those dreams come to fruition and other times, people change direction as they explore and try things.

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Raises hand :raised_hand:
Sometimes it seems like that’s the norm! Sometimes it’s due to changing priorities, and sometimes it’s because, well, life happens. And thats okay.

Anyway, it does indeed take all kinds. This has been a thought-provoking thread, and it’s interesting to see people’s different opinions and the choices they make as a result.

(ETA somehow I gave my own post a smiley face, but i don’t know how to undo it :crazy_face:)

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Just tap the face again.

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Axe throwing???

I think it’s good that I have retired. I was very good at my job but I have never been able to throw a ball so axe throwing holds no appeal whatsoever to me. (it would likely be dangerous for me as well).

Personally I dislike the “sport related” bonding/networking thing.

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It’s skewed based on where you live and what you want. In our area you are likely not able to buy organic food if you can’t pay for housing. Just as you buy organic food, someone else might like expensive travel or something else. I agree with @neela1 , it’s a personal choice.

Again, your salary definition won’t apply to others. Some kids make a lot of money right out of college, others don’t. Many don’t care what their salary is until later. The idea that your middle age salary is enough for you so it should be enough for others doesn’t make sense to me. The US is so huge your salary might be great in KS but not get a studio in SF. Again, it’s all personal choice.

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I am not throwing axes every weekend or something :-). It’s just good fun. Think of it as throwing darts in a bar. Just heavier darts.

It’s great if you enjoy it. I would hate it.

I’m a runner. I do not/would not expect my non-runner friends to want to join me on a run for fun. Some of them have physical issues that would make that painful/difficult/impossible, some would just feel uncomfortable, some are just not interested.

I still dislike the idea of sport type activities as a work outing.

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I never wanted to push my kids into something they didn’t want to do. We give advice and information. My D that will be a senior will graduate without debt, which mainly came from her getting plenty of merit $. I figure without debt she will have options on what she wants to do in life. She will major in Bio and Spanish and minors in Education and Latin Am Studies. She will probably teach HS after college. She is looking into programs that will hire her without fully being certified. She does will on the spending front. Her one caveat is she doesn’t want a roommate after college. She announced she would rather live in a 100 sq ft place with no roommate than have one.

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Agree this is all in the eyes of the beholder, and everyone has a right to their personal choice. Here’s one beholder’s anecdote. I work in a high paying technical field in a VERY high cost of living area. My company is well aware of the cost of housing and everything else here, and salaries are adjusted accordingly. We are also aware of the salaries our competitors offer and factor that in.

We recently made an offer to a new college graduate at the going rate. They came back and asked us for 50% more, to match another offer. Was that other offer real, or were they bluffing? We don’t know but assumed they were being honest; no reason not to. Did they have a right to request that? Absolutely! Did they need that salary? Quite possibly; we don’t know the circumstances of their life (and I’m sure it’s illegal to ask those sorts of questions in a job interview). Were they a desirable candidate? Definitely; after all we wanted to hire them. Were they so good we were willing to adjust our entire salary structure to hire them? Not to us.

So we simply said “That’s fantastic! We wish you the best of luck there.” Some regret to lose them on our part, but no value judgement, no condescension, no thought that they should have wanted something different. At the same time it did appear skewed to us, even in our rarified environment.

Guess I’m saying a situation can be considered perfectly acceptable and skewed at the same time. :woman_shrugging:

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@soozievt I don’t think young people who major in music or the arts even have to plan on doing that for a career. It’s a great way to spend 4 years, gain a variety of skills, and then look at a diverse set of options that are available.

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This is in fact a bit surprising. If my kid were in that situation, I would advise him to not go back and ask to match. Because if the pay structure is that fundamentally different vs the other company, then it is a recurring annual problem, and not a one time problem at the start. Modulo the nature of the work etc, the kid should just take the higher offer upfront. Much cleaner.

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I mentioned above that H has done a lot of networking while playing golf but the majority of that has been just him out playing golf by himself, with his brother and with friends who play golf (the networking a result of being randomly placed in a foursome with other people). He has played golf with clients, but at their initiative. I don’t really see it any differently than going out to dinner, a major sporting event, etc with clients. My H has an affiliation with the service academy located where we live so if out of town clients are interested, he takes them on a tour. All just different ways to connect with people you do business with. My neighbor who works for Comcast networks with her clients using all sorts of events.

In terms of answering the original question, we have never suggested our kids major in something that might lead to a better paying job. However, we have offered them advice on how to utilize their time in college to make themselves marketable - whether it’s taking certain electives like analytics, public speaking, strengthening their writing skills, strong relationships with certain professors, getting internships, etc. My kids have already demonstrated a strong work ethic. I’m not worried about them. They don’t expect to make $$$ right out of college.

Regarding those in the arts, my brother has been a professional musician for 40 years. He hated traditional schooling so chose not to go to college but instead went to a music school in CA. He has had a varied career working with a variety of artists, was hired by the State Dept to play at several embassies abroad, regular plays in gigs with two different bands around the DC area and supplements his income giving private lessons. He was recently hired by a local university to teach some of its students. Meanwhile, his wife never went to college and has worked her way up in an administrative position such that together, they have the middle class lifestyle that suits their needs/desires. Do they drive fancy cars, have a remodeled home (they own their home but it’s outdated), and go on expensive vacations? No, but that does not interest them. My brother followed his dreams/talent with my parents’ emotional support (never supported him financially beyond paying for his music school). His friend group in the music world seem to be content with living similar middle class lifestyles in order to earn a living as musicians.

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Probably good advice. Again, we really don’t know if this was a legitimate offer, or if this was the candidate’s attemp at negotiation; we didn’t request verification. If a real offer, the other (unknown) company was able to offer salaries much higher than the vast majority in our industry. Perhaps there was some risk associated with the position.

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I totally agree! I mention this all the time to prospective college students and parents whom I advise in my job. Just because they major in the arts, doesn’t mean that is the only field they can go into for a career. The skills learned are applicable not only to many facets of the field, but to working in entirely different fields, and these skills are valued ones. As I’ve said earlier on the thread, I do not believe one’s college major dictates the only career fields they can do. Many jobs want educated people and the name of their major is not the main thing.

Personally speaking, I sent my kids to college to become educated people, and that itself is valued in the work world. They did end up going into their major field, but had they not done so, that would be cool by me.

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One thing to remember is a job/career doesn’t define who you are. Really it is just a way to get money so you can afford to do the things you really want to do/have. There in lies the rub. Some people want the big house that is updated with that latest trends and the expensive car. Some want to take big vacations. Other people are just as happy in a smaller house that might need a little work. Or they are fine driving that 10 year old car. Or just seeing family on a vacation.

As long as your job provides what you want in life then you will be fine. Remember sometimes what you want is time.

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I think this is a good reason not to make this kind of money in the first place: Bloomberg - Are you a robot? :slight_smile:

Yes, it comes back to the fact that if you do not require as much money to be satisfied with life, you have a wider range of job and career choices that will be financially sustainable. For example, someone with a low cost lifestyle may live comfortably as a non-starving (non-elite) artist, even if those with high cost lifestyles (like those referenced in the Bloomberg page linked one post above) cannot imagine living on that income level.

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