Interesting I never had anxiety about my artist kid, but my sister did, she led a poor life with no money(according to her) even as an accountant, so she’s nervous for other people, and they are not her kids either. I had to tell her to back off.
I can’t say what is “wrong” or what is “right,” as each parent has their own values and ways of parenting. For me, I never pushed my kids in any direction or toward any activities, etc. They chose. My oldest did NOT know her definite career or field of study when she applied to college, but had some possible interest in exploring a field, but it wasn’t a field she had learned in K-12. My youngest, has wanted to pursue her field since pre-school, I kid you not. It was an activity she did her whole life growing up and she continued to pursue it in college and professionally. We never ever discussed possible college majors with her as it was like part of her identity.
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As expected, this thread will become a series of personal anecdotes about the relative success of one’s children. There will always be outliers, and successful people in any field. Every week, someone wins the lottery. A high school classmate of my kid’s landed a leading role on Broadway at 17 upon hs graduation; Bill Gates is worth billions despite dropping out of college. For those who value such random data points, they exist.
For the rest of us, salary surveys and graduation outcomes covering thousands of people are more reliable aggregate data upon which to base career decisions, and perhaps the majors more likely to lead to those careers.
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I’m one for pursuing your genuine interests and the rest will follow. This is not a comfortable notion for others, I realize.
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This is kind of the opposite of what the post is asking but did involve a suggested major. Our second daughter really didn’t know what she wanted to major in but she did know she what wanted to be. A Physical Therapist. She danced from 4 years old through HS. She was originally going to be an Exercise Physiology major. Frankly, so long as she took the courses required for a DPT program it didn’t matter what she majored in. The school she attended had a good dance program and DPT program. A friend of her’s mother suggested that the school gave good scholarships for good students going into the fine arts. She changed her major and got around $4500 per year in additional fine arts scholarships, graduated with a BA in dance and a Biology Minor and is now starting her 3rd year as a DPT student at the same school. She got to major in what she enjoyed and still pursue her career goals all because of the suggestion of a wonderful mother.
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Would examples be something like:
- zero debt with high-demand degree…lowest anxiety level – full ride, BA/BS in engineering or CS
- zero debt with low demand degree…medium anxiety level – full ride, BA/BS in biology
- high debt with high-demand degree…medium anxiety level – $400k debt, MD or DO
- High debt with low demand degree…high anxiety – $200k debt, low ranked JD
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Yes, I’ve seen a lot of interviews and I totally get the passion and drive which is innate to some. The best explanation I’ve seen was once given by Olivia Colman. She couldn’t not act - there was a stint when she was cleaning houses and auditioning. The interviewer asked her if she had doubt, and she simply said acting was simply something that she couldn’t not do.
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Does your sister have relatively high spending habits so that she feels unsatisfied on accountant pay?
If my kids were so inclined towards the high debt path, I would be very worried indeed. This has less to do with the major than debt.
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I think the salary surveys and graduation outcomes are perhaps most useful to those who don’t have a clear drive and passion for one singular thing.
My kids have known for a while that they want to have a comfortable life (!) One has opted to pursue a BBA and CS double major BUT picked a school where changing major is relatively easy. The next kid will likely pursue a classic liberal arts education at a college that offers math and engineering courses open to all.
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Even those with a drive and passion may find surveys useful in helping get a better informed view of what possible futures they are looking at. I.e. whether their spending habits are compatible with their likely future income, whether the field is elite-or-bust.
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Where did you hear that? Do you k ow an actual company that gives a new PhD $400,000 to start?
Google. Slight negotiation may be involved. I am sure FB also until they just announced a freeze. Several top firms can/will pay this if you are a top school PhD in ML/AI. Of course they could also come into quant and possibly get paid more than that. If you go to a startup, you will likely get more than that in equity.
Among others, my friend who is a CS Prof at G Tech told me that some of his students do this.
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Yes, I do! You can message me if interested. The candidate in question had an engineering PhD from an Ivy - not AI or ML. Of course, of interest to FB, Google, etc. But chose to stay in the Northeast to work in fintech. Superstar, so 5 years from PhD making low 7 figures.
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Just wrong
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What bit is wrong?
I think we should take this private. I do not reveal personal info on this board.
Just saying, I know at least 6 PhDs at google, most from MIT, and they started I. The 300,000s. That is still terrific, but they did give up 7-8 years of employment to make their way into research.
Interesting thread. It never occurred to me to encourage my kids to pick a major that was more lucrative. I preferred them to do something where they have sufficient talent and passion to be top of their class and eventually at the top of whatever professional field they choose. In my career I focused quite early on understanding more about one very specific thing than anyone else, and assumed that if I succeeded then someone would pay me for that knowledge. I picked that based on what I found interesting and where the competition was particularly limited.
I recently reminded S18 that he was voted “most likely to change the world” in his HS senior class. He’d forgotten that, but still thinks about his career quite strategically in terms of what path he might be able to follow over the next couple of decades to change the world and what knowledge and experience he needs to get there. But fortunately it’s shifted a little from when he was 12 and laid out his plan to run for president in 2048.
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No, actually she’s super frugal. I know you’ve been floating that theory but I don’t agree wth you. I’m the spendthrift in my family. My sister seems to make lots of mistakes with finance for some reason.
Isn’t that pressure of a different kind? What if one doesn’t have sufficient talent and passion to be top of their class in the thing they like best. Isn’t that possible? Even with hyperfocus. Which brings me to another thing, I’m not sure that everyone is capable of hyperfocus anyway.
If I had a child capable of hyperfocus and this child could be cheaply (!) educated, I’d feel not anxious at all.
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