<p>I am an academic, and I have a lot of control over my schedule. When my D was younger, I arranged as many of my fixed commitments (i.e. classes, meetings) as possible in the morning so as to leave most afternoons free to drive her around as needed. </p>
<p>When she learned to drive, it changed my life more than it changed hers.</p>
<p>I was very fortunate in being able to be a SAHM for 11 years. I still carpooled and never minded giving rides to kids whose parents couldn’t. By the time I went back to work, D was driving which helped a lot. I do think that it is hard in families where both parents work or there are single parents. The schools where I live have late “activity” busses because a lot of kids would not be able to participate if they didn’t.</p>
<p>Single working mom of only child here - CARPOOLS!!! I did my part which was minimal in our large carpool group - then when the kids on the team all got their cars at 16, pressure off!</p>
<p>Somewhere, somehow, the message has become that if you aren’t getting your kids to and from lots of after school activities, however you choose to make that happen, you are letting them down.</p>
<p>Just remind your kids that ECs don’t have to take place at school, be organized by someone, or involve independently verifiable outcomes. As an interviewer, I’ve spoken to wonderful applicants whose family hobby was their primary EC, who have gardened, painted, cooked, self-studied languages, taken classes on-line, repaired cars, renovated the family home, worked jobs in the neighborhood, engaged in pick-up sports in the neighborhood after school, and/or utilized public transportation from a very early (middle school) age. All these kids did well academically and in life. </p>
<p>So, if you don’t have the time or money or flexibility to get your kids from pt. A to B, there are still lots of other legit ECs that they can be doing. It just means that your kids will have to show more initiative and creativity than is required to sign up for a ‘ready-made’ activity provided elsewhere.</p>
<p>@M’s Mom
I’m not quite sure what an EC is, but I’ve noticed that trend too. I didn’t mean to imply that my parents did anything wrong by not taking me into activities. I was merely curious what other people did. </p>
<p>A lot of people here seem to have some sort of scheduling flexibility that my parents didn’t. I also know that the vast majority of the population leaves either in or near a city of some sort. I don’t. Other than transportation difficulties and difficulty finding a job, I love being in the country. It’s quiet.</p>
<p>I go in to work early and leave early, H drops kids off and works late. It allows me to get Just my 12yo D now, where she needs to go in the afternoon and pick her up right after school. Both my H and & I used to work typical 9-5 hours, until I asked and was allowed to start work earlier. It never hurts to ask, even if you are the first one in your company to ask for altered hours, many companies are willing to accommadate good employees.</p>
<p>Not everyone does it. We are not in the constant activity crowd. We value our family time, and rushing around all the time isn’t the best way for us to spend it. Our lives are busy enough as it is. Each child has one regular school-related extracurricular activity of their choice (if they so choose, and they have done so far). With that, homework, and Sunday church and youth group, they have plenty to do. In the rush to pile on more and more activities, parents have lost sight of the need for students to have some down time – when they just sit and read, play board games with their siblings, lie on the porch and daydream, or cook supper with their families. No wonder so many students are so stressed out.</p>
<p>My siblings and I learned to entertain ourselves and how to enjoy silence. We’re trying to do the same for our children, although there is not much support for that from modern society.</p>
<p>Both my middle and high school had late buses that left at the time that all activities except sports ended. Sports practices ended late enough that I don’t think rides were usually an issue. My parents both worked a lot, and worked about 45 minutes from our hometown, but didn’t really have problems picking me up with 15 minutes or so of when practices ended. My friends and I actually used to split pints of Ben & Jerry’s while we were waiting for rides! I don’t think transportation was usually an issue with afterschool activities though, unless of course, we’re talking about those that were not affiliated with the school.</p>
<p>Church and youth group count as extracurriculars. My son is introverted so of course he spent plenty of time by himself. He is also gifted and needed things to occupy his time and brain in addtion to classroom work, plus it took him less time to get school things done than most. Colleges know that American schools won’t occupy all of good student’s after school hours with homework. They like to know what students do, based on their circumstances. Some will need the money and use their time working, some need to take care of siblings, others try many superficial activites… The college that is a good fit will value the student’s choices for spending their hours. Students who need all of their time to do homework/study may not succeed at a given school.</p>
<p>All families are different. Parents with only one child do things differently than those with two or more. Hard to double team a child in many activites or center life around one child by giving them too much one on one or two on one. We found ways our son could be with his peers instead of just us. He then matured into adulthood in a good way. Thank goodness those trying teen years are behind us.</p>
<p>I was a SAHM, so it wasn’t so bad for me to get the kids back & forth. </p>
<p>However, S was easy … after 8th grade, he didn’t “do” ECs. I am not a force-the-kid-to-do-things mom. He knew what it would mean in terms of college acceptances, so he wasn’t surprised when mom’s sage advice proved to be true (even with a 3.9 GPA and a 33 ACT he was waitlisted at UMich in state). He preferred to record music and play guitar. He is in college, doing fine, and doesn’t regret his lack of ECs. I bring it up only because everyone seems to think kids “have to” do ECs.</p>
<p>I’m sorry but I don’t feel bad for your parents. My parents work 10 and 12 hrs a day respectively plus commute XD and they still drive me around and such. Then again they are a doctor and a engineer and have worked hard their entire life.</p>
<p>jax123, not all professions allow for parents to just leave to drive a kid around. That is wonderful that your parents had that luxury. You can’t ask that of a firefighter or a customer service rep, a pharmacist or a nurse, to name a few. </p>
<p>Since I grew up in the country, I was happy that my high school staggered their activities by having sports and band right after school, then theater after so I could just stay at school until it was evening. It also helped in my rural community was that other parents were happy to share rides and there was no problem with older students driving us home in exchange for gas money.</p>
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<p>That was my son’s main EC (bass guitar)! He recorded, played in a few garage bands, played for a local church’s “contemporary” service, did school jazz band plus tuba in regular band. But even if he’d only played solo and recorded himself, I’d still consider it a significant EC.</p>
<p>S chose to major in music but I think it was an EC that the “regular” LACs he applied to valued as well.</p>