<p>My son and I did a lot of research before he applied anywhere, and he didn’t have any “reach” schools–just a lot of options that he felt would be good fits. The last one we visited was his financial safety, which was significantly more affordable than his other options. On the way there he decided that if he even gave it a “B” or “B-” he would make it work (he didn’t have any “A’s” at this point). As it turned out, he loved it the minute he set foot on campus. He went off for an overnight in the dorms, I attended some parent events, and then we attended an orientation and a scholarship luncheon the next day. By the time we drove back to the airport the next day he said “I really didn’t see anything I didn’t like.” He just finished his first year and is already eager to go back. :)</p>
<p>I often tell people my DS’ school picked him. We took him to visit 10 schools (some while we were vacationing in the areas). He fell in love with one and decided that he and his best friend would attend together. They even flew to two football games during their senior year. Then, the randomness of the college admissions process struck a blow and my son was deferred (to what we considered a “match” school). His best friend got in but ultimately couldn’t attend due to finances.</p>
<p>My son had a lot of other great options but decided he would attend our state flagship (pretty much for free). That was until he visited the school he ultimately enrolled in. Upon his acceptance, they paid for the visit and once he stepped on campus he knew it was the place for him. Funny enough, he almost didn’t apply because it was “another reach school”. Anyway, he is entering his Sophomore year at WashU and couldn’t be happier. He is, however, one of those kids I believe would be happy wherever he is.</p>
<p>My DD is now a rising Junior and we have decided not to tour schools until she is accepted. She basically knows what she is looking for so our thought is apply everywhere you might want to go and once you are accepted we can visit anywhere you want. This way we don’t waste a lot of time and money visiting schools she either doesn’t like or, even worse falls in love with and isn’t accepted to.</p>
<p>Yesterday, my son and I were talking after he had gone out with one of his friends who just finished his first year at the school my son had considered his first choice but was wait listed. I asked how his friend liked the school( he liked it) and then asked him whether he wished he was there. He answered that he did not wish he was there at all because he loves where he is so much. Hurrah.</p>
<p>Never heard the word love from DD, but I am happy that DS has found the love.</p>
<p>
Some kids make college decisions primarily based on facts and rational reasoning and don’t “fall in love” with colleges. This doesn’t mean that they are settling and not choosing their favorites out of practicality. Some simply don’t get infatuated with particular colleges in the way that you did.</p>
<p>When I was searching for colleges, I was at the other extreme… making decisions with a strong emphasis on rational reasoning. I started out by making a complex ranking system for the colleges based on my personal values including the more common measures like strength of engineering program and desired majors, non-academic things like location and student life, and at least a dozen other criteria. I used many different sources to develop the individual criteria rankings, applied my desired weightings based on their importance to me, then added up the scores. The top scores fit well with the schools that seemed to be the best fit for me, confirming a valid system. This got me to a list of schools on my radar to apply to. I had a more in depth consideration of my top 2 choices, including visiting both campuses. Some of the reasons I ultimately chose Stanford over MIT include the entrepreneurial culture with Silicon Valley, my experiences while visiting including a very friendly and helpful atmosphere, the increased opportunities outside of engineering, and the moderate CA coastal climate. I didn’t “fall in love” with any particular school. It wasn’t that I settled. I just didn’t have that kind of highly emotional thought process where after seeing or hearing about a college, one suddenly feels extreme joy towards going to college and favors that college above all others.</p>