Exactly. That’s why I express my opinion once and don’t chime in again.
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Old habits die hard! 
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This thread blew up it seems. If I care to respond, is it better to post big response below my original query, or address individuals?
You step away from the machine for a couple of days, and what happens?!? 
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However you decide.
I like the individual but some like the summary.
You are the owner so do as works best for you.
Seems like the key difference between you and the OP is that you were talking about college money with the kids before the first one started applying to college. 
That is different from the OP, who apparently sent an older kid to an expensive college, did not set a price limit beforehand, and got the current high school senior excited about UND by doing an admitted student visit (knowing the absence of any financial aid or scholarships by then). The OP seems to have built up the current high school senior for a big let-down that could have been avoided by talking about college money and setting a price limit much earlier (preferably before the older kid applied to colleges).
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Agree re ND engineering. D2 isn’t sure however that she’ll want to stick with it and perhaps switch to econ. Our thinking for both kids was always undergrad in almost whatever (some employability) with MBA or PhD later. So part of the equation is what sets them up to track into a top grad program. The 529s were intended to cover undergrad, and hopefully part of grad school. Had the discussion w/both kids and they get a vote. But my cringe comes from fact a 17 year old can easily get caught up in the prestige game (heck, many of us here do!), and not necessarily understand the value of the $$ involved and what else they could be used for.
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I appreciate this perspective, esp the part about learning to live modestly. We funded the 529s with idea it would pay for undergrad plus help with grad school. Will think about whether seeing that grad school portion depleted should be so annoying.
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You can post a response and tag people you specifically want to address. @bioart
Thank you. Very helpful.
We too are Catholic (and Presbyterian via a “mixed marriage”), so while we like the small “c” catholic aspect, we are not as committed to the entire Catholic package.
It feels to me as though the closeness the ND community feels is due in part to the dorm setup. Random assignments and emphasis on the dorm as family — feels a bit like my experience of greek life at Purdue. The dorms are fraternities/sororities, with a great emphasis on family, without the downside of exclusivity (selection process) of greek life on other campuses. And because it is random, it extends to the ND community more general with an overall feeling of community.
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We won’t be pulling the offer. But we are discussing. She knows what her “endowment” is and how the various schools compare to one another from a cost perspective. She also knows grad school may be in her future. I guess what I’m looking for are factors that we ought to consider as part of the “value” equation (the “is it worth it” part).
I mentioned in response to someone else that she might decide to switch to econ as is interested in public policy, so how much the program impact ability to get into top PhD program down the road may be a factor.
It is a tough call but I will say fit and comfort with the campus and opportunities should factor into the decision. A very wise woman told me years ago when my first was going through the process that friends and the culture of the school should be just as important as the academics. She had seen so many kids end up at schools their parents liked but ultimately did not fit well for the kid.
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Thank you, this is helpful. And apologies – I hesitated to post because I knew some kids really want ND and didn’t get in. It doesn’t help, but our kid also was denied at some great schools she really liked. She went in knowing the odds were low, but we told her we were proud of her simply for trying. I always tell my kids that if they never fail, they aren’t aiming high enough.
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No gaurantee at all that she’ll complete engineering. May pursue econ as interested in public policy. I have tried though to emphasize to her that if she has an engineering degree she’ll have no problem picking up that first job at a relatively good starting salary, and have advised it would be great experience before heading back to grad school for an MBA or Econ/public policy degree.
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Our approach is that both girls have a funded 529. The money is theirs. Whatever they don’t spend is for grad school.
Agree re ND engineering probably not as great relative to other programs at the school. But also think (based on corporate experience and our recruiting goals) that a female engineering student will have zero problem finding good employment, regardless of program.
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We set a hard limit at the outset, $200K after merit. Below that though, there was a significant price range in his offers, from $80K to $180K. He narrowed to three schools, one $80K, one $140K and one $160K. We said we’d cover any of them, but we wanted to bring him into the loop of understanding the price differences. If he chose the low cost option, we told him we’d split the savings between it and the next highest. In the end he went with the $140K school, but at least he had the perception of having some skin in the game.
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Just a note about grad school. PhDs that are worth pursuing are typically fully funded, and many employers have tuition reimbursement for MBAs down the road so you may not need that 529 $ for grad school.
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Good points. We’ve been careful to manage expectations and keep things even … the 529 money is theirs for undergrad and whatever is left is for grad school. We’ve also discussed that this is a “family decision” … she has input. It feels not quite right to put this all on a 17 year old to decide, esp when it may mean they need to go $150K in debt in future for grad school. We are having good discussions, but it is clear most kids have no clue about these things. (I didn’t at that age – I just knew we didn’t have the money.)
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A phd in econ or politics should be fully funded by the university. A masters in either is unlikely to have greater opportunities than a bachelor’s. So the only degree you might wish to fund is the MBA-a few employers still do so, though it is more rare. In any event, the coa for HBS is around $120k/ year now and likely to increase by the time she applies. Fewer employers seem to require it than previously.
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She’s recently taken Rose off the list (decided she wants a bigger school and not quite the Rose gender ratio). Wisconsin gave her direct admit to nuclear engineering. Whether she’d stick with it is the question and may opt for econ with longer term goal of working in public policy.
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