<p>On my visit day schedule, there is a time slot dedicated to "dinner with faculty adviser."
How formal are these occasions? Can I dress casually?
Is it inappropriate to order alcohol (Probably not liquor, but what about wine and beer)? </p>
<p>They’re usually pretty informal. You’ll still being evaluated, but try to relax and have a normal conversation - they’ll probably ask you about your research interests, but also about every day hobbies and activities and your life in general. If you’ve made it to the interview stage, the PI is trying to see if you are a good fit for her lab in general.</p>
<p>Answers to the alcohol question will vary. Some people will say it’s fine, and others will say it’s not. In my department on prospectives weekend, we have a house party with plenty of beer and wine and the prospectives indulge (in moderation) and it’s fine. Nobody judges. I also went to an interview weekend for a postdoc recently and had wine with my potential PIs, and I got the job. But I’ve heard other people give the advice to never ever ever indulge. I think it’s up to you and depends on the circumstances - if he orders a bottle for the table and it’s just you two, have a small glass I suppose if you feel comfortable. Or if there are several other people from the lab and every else is getting a glass, then go ahead. But if he does not, don’t order anything. (One trick is when the waiter comes to the table, say you’re still thinking about your meal so that he goes first.)</p>
<p>This, of course, assumes that you are of age. And I would recommend limiting it to 2 beers/glasses.</p>
<p>I forgot to mention I have already been admitted with full funding. I assume they can’t take the offer back based on how I behave at the dinner table (unless I do something extreme lol). </p>
<p>The reason I asked about the alcohol thing is I feel it’s the easiest way for a potential student to get comfortable around a potential adviser. </p>
<p>Unless it is Brigham Young, I’d say that a civilized dinner includes a drink, if you’re over 21 which as a Grad School candidate I’d guess you are. I’ve been on both sides of the table and a tasteful drink such a scotch or a beer is fine. When asked for drinks, you could always demur to your host to order first. Two drink max, though.</p>
<p>Oh, if you’re already admitted definitely don’t worry about this - this is very very common. I’ve had wine with my advisers many times.</p>
<p>But…I wouldn’t make the mistake of using it as a way to get comfortable around your adviser. You shouldn’t be drinking enough wine or beer to “get loose” or feel tipsy; perhaps a little buzzed, but very clear-headed. Drink slowly. If you have to drink wine to feel comfortable around the PI, something is wrong lol.</p>