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<p>The sorority that tends to attract girls that are (let’s say) from New York / New Jersey / Long Island is very different from the sorority that decides to cut girls specifically because they are not from New York / New Jersey / Long Island. The sorority that tends to attract girls who tend to be more well-to-do is very different from the sorority that explicitly cuts girls based on finding out what their daddies make.</p>
<p>Wow, some of the hateful things on this thread are pretty crazy, and supposedly coming from “educated, open minded” folk. ;)</p>
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<p>The most sane sentence in this whole thread. </p>
<p>Everyone has their own vision of how they want their college experience to be. Why the hate for people/experiences that are different that you/yours?</p>
<p>If you don’t want to go Greek, then don’t. If you don’t want your daughter to join a sorority then discourage her. If you do, then go for it. To each his own, for heaven’s sake.</p>
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<p>Coming from the poster who has done nothing but be snarky and rude, pointing out the utter stupidity of people who choose to live differently than he. That’s just rich :rolleyes:</p>
<p>For some of you who fine Greek life “below the radar” or not worth their time, you sure are spending alot of time over several days harping about it.</p>
<p>Back in the day, I was a sorority member at SMU. I loved it. The chapter was very diverse, my big sis was from Connecticut, my roommates were from Ohio and New York, I was the lone Texan in the room. 
We had tiny girls, heavy girls, tall girls, short girls, smart girls, ditzy girls, Jewish girls, athiests, Methodists, just about every demographic at the school - BUT, they were the ones who CHOSE to participate and rush.</p>
<p>Noone forces anyone to become a member, noone forces you to stay if you join and find it not to your liking.</p>
<p>Oh, and btw, we had no idea what people’s “daddies” did for a living. No body gave a rat’s patootie.</p>
<p>It is pretty funny though that the thread finally got down to joking about bobos vrs bohos, and camel toes. LOL</p>
<p>Oh, and btw, we had no idea what people’s “daddies” did for a living. No body gave a rat’s patootie</p>
<p>Here in West Virginia, a lot of the “daddies” were disbled coal miners or steel workers. I was one of the very few whose father had a college degree and a professional job.</p>
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<p>semantics? I see the difference in how you name it. I do not see the difference. I am sure women in my sorority called it like-tending-to-attract-like. That is not what I call it. I call it excluding the unlike.</p>
<p>I’m sorry. This does bother me. If we name it for what it is – I’m okay with whatever you want to do in terms of selecting your sorority membership. :)</p>
<p>And I’m still writing recs for those who want to participate. ;)</p>
<p>When I rushed in the 70s Jewish girls could only join the Jewish house. (Before any of you sorority haters scream AH HA read the rest). We had, in our pledge class, a Christian girl. WE broke the barrier. I am still friends with several of my sisters today.</p>
<p>When my oldest daughter, who attended the same university, she didn’t pledge.</p>
<p>My youngest daughter, still at the same university, rushed this past fall. She joined a top tier house. In her pledge class are Jews and Christians, blonds, brunetts and red heads…African Americans, Asians, Caucasian and multi racial girls. Did this happen in the 70s? No, but it is happening now. And that is the point.</p>
<p>I do find it fascinating that all the vitriole is directed at the people who joined sororities. We elitist snobs (as many of you profile us) bear the brunt of perhaps you insecurities and anger at an institution(s) that may or may not include you. Please note: not all of you are spewing anger, I am aware of that. When you (or your child) interviews for a job they may or may not be accepted. Are you going to start of Ban…(big corporation, law firm, hardware store) because for whatever reason you or your kid didn’t get the job? Hopefully you move on and find the right fit in life.</p>
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<p>My closest girlfriends all happen to be white, midwestern and Catholic, but that’s not because I’ve excluded African-Americans, Asians, people from the coasts, or non-Catholics from my circle – that simply is who I tend to attract.</p>
<p>Bothers me too. Not that it exists, just pretending it’s not just a private club. </p>
<p>Whatever benefits you think it has for you, great.</p>
<p>But for all of you who spoke about how diverse your sororities are, I’d sure like to know how many women of color, any color, were/are members?</p>
<p>Would Hispanics count? Is that enough color for you, felixnot? We had many girls from Mexico, including one who ended up marrying my best guy friend. :)</p>
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<p>It’s much easier to perceive vitriol directed at oneself or one’s allies than vitriol directed at one’s opponents. In fact, in this thread plenty of vitriol has been directed at people who express opposition to sororities. For example, I have been called rude, snarky, insecure and a failure as a mother. Whatever your opinion of the correctness of those views-- you may think that I am rude, snarky, insecure and a failure as a mother, and perhaps you are right-- insulting me in that way counts as vitriolic, and belies the claim by sorority supporters that they are above such behavior.</p>
<p>ellebud wrote: </p>
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<p>Ellebud, I respect all your posts and think you are representing sorority women beautifully. Thank you for that. :)</p>
<p>But I do want to say I was in the top tier sorority (and have really never been excluded from anything) and 30 years later am still upset about rush :eek: I am glad things are better in that regard. But I still question the whole system.</p>
<p>I don’t see my criticisms as a bad thing. The Greek system becomes more inclusive all the time.</p>
<p>Who is pretending it’s not a private club, Felixnot?</p>
<p>In the 1980’s – I would say that there wasn’t as much diversity on my college campus as there was today, but thinking back, absolutely, there were white, Afr-Am, Indian, Asian, Hispanic girls in our house and no one thought twice. There was an Afr-Am president one year and a Hispanic president another year that I can remember. In H’s fraternity – a historically Jewish one – one of the presidents was Afr-Am (actually half AA and half white, for what that’s worth) and an officer was of Thai descent – both stood up for my H at our wedding. The answer to your question is that it varies by how diverse the campus is and how much different people mix in general at that campus. There is no one statement that is true across all. I’m sure there are lily-white sororities and there are sororities of every color / creed / race / religion.</p>
<p>CF, no one has called you, personally, a “failure as a mother,” but it does beg the question: If you had a daughter, and sent her off to college, REGARDLESS of whether she was going to participate in the Greek system, would you, or would you not, have clued her in to modes of dressing beyond everyday jeans/t-shirts? And if not, why not?</p>
<p>Felixnot: See the thing is, if you’re counting YOU have the problem. (Let’s see…this year we pledged FIVE Jewish girls, we met our quota and now we’re done.) Get it? Suffice to say at my daughter’s university there are no quotas and there is a lot of diversity. </p>
<p>And as for private clubs…life is a private club. Join a church, charity, business organization, work in a big company you have the makings of a private club. Sort of like: I work for IBM and my friends are coworkers. Or, I volunteer for Saint Jude’s, Hadassah or … and yeah, you make friends and that becomes your social circle. Or, I joined the Black Panthers…they’re not letting Tricia Nixon Cox into the fold.</p>
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<p>That’s some snark Gotta call it like I see it.</p>
<p>When I went through rush it was a sobering experience, no question. The anti semitism was polite, but potent. I will say that the unverisity has changed as have sororities. The exact system of recruitment is definitely more inclusive. Is it perfect? No, nothing is perfect. Some nice girls don’t get bids. Lots of girls won’t join a house if it isn’t the “best” one. But when it works, the system, the house, the girls…yes, it really works.</p>
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<p>But, then there was the whole detour (CF not a part of) about if a “real mother” would set up play dates with people they were “feuding” with. 
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<p>Then the definition of feud, which the “real mother” said included “mild” disagreements, like with your best friend or spouse. LOL</p>
<p>This thread has become a trainwreck!! But entertaining… ;)</p>
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<p>YES. Exactly. LINYMOM who posted earlier on this thread and I happen both to be Jewish and to have been 2 years apart in the same house (which does not have any historic religious aspect). It so happened that her year, there were a good number of Jewish girls who joined that house. In my year, there were only me and one other girl who was Jewish. Was that evidence of “prejudice”? Or was it simply the way the cookie crumbled that particular year and who was attracted to whom? The idea of counting to ensure we have X number of girls who are like this and X number who are like that is just as gross as the idea of making sure that we keep out all the girls who are (black, fat, Jewish, Hispanic, from Texas, whatever).</p>
<p>And, God knows, you’d for sure want to keep out the girls from Texas! They’re trouble! Hee</p>
<p>Hey, I’ve been to Austin (yes, I know that not REALLY Texas)…and yes, those Texas women are trouble!!! Polite, friendly, willing to offer help…and we’re from SC!</p>