<p>I am curious what might be some unexpected negatives from joining a sorority. (Neither H nor I went to schools with a Greek system, so we have no first-hand experience of a college that has sororities or fraternities.) I really don't want this to be a "Greeks are good" or "Greeks are bad" discussion. I am more interested in the personal experiences of people who have been in a sorority. To me, two possible negatives are time (I am assuming being in a sorority involves a commitment to be present and participate in some certain number of things) and money. Others?</p>
<p>“I am assuming being in a sorority involves a commitment to be present and participate in some certain number of things”</p>
<p>-that is the only negative, according to my daughter…doesn’t like being accountable for her time to anything but her schoolwork…but she still joined so I guess she’s managing…</p>
<p>As a senior member of a sorority I can say that there are good and bad things about being greek. Yes, it does cost a significant amount of money, both in dues and out of pocket expenses but most sororities have scholarship programs for girls who can’t afford it. Its also not as big of a time commitment as you think. You really get out of it what you put in, and there are lots of girls in my sorority that are very involved in sports and other activities and only come to our activities when they can and its not a big deal. I would say the positives far outweigh the negatives.
It gives you a chances to make lifelong bonds with your sisters and really find a place on campus. Also, the networking skills you learn and connections you make can be invaluable once you leave college. Many girls say they learned important skills such as how to act on an interview and have poise under pressure. There is a strong alumni network with each sorority that can help a girl get a job after college and become easily integrated into a new town or graduate school.</p>
<p>Once people know you are in a certain sorority, they make assumptions about you that might be true or false. (And the assumptions might be positive or negative.)</p>
<p>I think the thought process should be take it on a case by case basis and do your homework. In other words, thoroughly evaluate all of the pros, cons and be objective throughout.</p>
<p>I would say the biggest drawbacks would be cost and limitations on time and friendships. It would be difficult to make friends out of the greek system. If there is a scholarship program for a sorority, I would be hesitant to take it- I wonder how the girls who receive a scholarship would be treated?</p>
<p>^^^It’s supposed to be confidential.</p>
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<p>My sister who graduated about 10 years ago did not find this to be the case. She was a member of a large, national sorority and while good friends with the women during school, a few years after graduation found she had little in common with them, and it never helped her one iota in job searches.</p>
<p>The girls who are in the sorority, no matter what the stereotype, are really not shallow and mean like that. They would never think anything bad of a girl who needed to take a scholarship. Its not like it is portrayed on TV and in the movies, they are just normal, nice girls who want to come together and be part of something.</p>
<p>I have helped my sorority sisters tremendously when it came to job searches. It’s a network of lifelong friends and connections.</p>
<p>And there were plenty of girls who didn’t have huge, huge sums of money, or were on work-study. It just was. No one was walking around comparing designer handbags or anything.</p>
<p>being hit by wooden paddles</p>
<p>I think a LOT depends on the school and the %age of those who are in sororities and fraternities. Both of my kids went to colleges where the %age of Greek students was very low. The fraternity and sorority “events” at DD’s school are largely open to all students (typically the ones who attend are friends of members…but no restrictions). At these schools, it was still mighty easy to make friends outside of the Greek system as only 2-3% of students were members of sororities or fraternities.</p>
<p>At a school where most of the school is Greek, this landscape would likely be a bit different, one would think.</p>
<p>The only downside for our kids’ schools was the cost. In both cases, there were no “houses” so there wasn’t even a good option for off campus housing. DD went through rush and didn’t join. DS didn’t give it a passing thought.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to offend anyone, but my opinion of the Greek system is based on UT Austin’s greek system of the early 80s. I don’t think I <em>ever</em> met a Greek who was someone I’d want to spend any time with. I know things have changed, but that stereotype is hard to discard…</p>
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<p>I was Greek and this was not my experience. I had friends who were not Greek as well as friends in other sororities.</p>
<p>Also, I am curious as to the wording of this thread. Why so you want to know the disadvantages and not the advantages of sororities?</p>
<p>My sorority sisters and I still keep in touch. </p>
<p>No designer bags back then, but that was in the late 70s when such things weren’t really “the thing” for college girls. (and, even today, it’s not only sorority girls carrying COACH bags and such.)</p>
<p>The drawback (I see) is money. I feel for many average girls who’d like to rush/pledge, but they and their families are barely covering college costs as they are. </p>
<p>I often wonder how some families do cover it all. I wonder how many girls take out Staffords to help pay dues and such - since COAs sometimes have some fluff in them.</p>
<p>And, it’s not just the dues that cost money…it’s the week to week activities, special clothes/Tshirts/outfits, formal events (sometimes out of town), etc. </p>
<p>I was lucky because my schooling was inexpensive (UCs in the 70s), so my part-time job could cover education and sorority costs. But, today, that’s just not do-able.</p>
<p>FallGirl: I asked the question about disadvantages because even an outsider can see that there are advantages to being in a sorority. I do not doubt at all that it helps during college with making friends and feeling a part of something, and that it helps after college with connections and networking. What I am asking about are the drawbacks that might not be obvious to someone who has not seen a sorority from the inside, so to speak.</p>
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<p>No offense taken, but systems are so different at different campuses. My best friend and I went off to college in the eighties. I went to Northwestern and she went to SMU. Our Greek experiences were as different as night and day (inclusive and low key vs snobby and exclusive) – because NU and SMU are as different as night and day. I don’t think you can take anything Texas and extrapolate it to a Northern environment, to be honest. I don’t know what college the OP is thinking about, but it differs SO much by campus. There are campuses where I’d encourage someone to go Greek, and there are campuses where I’d say, goodness, stay away from those people.</p>
<p>The only disadvantage I can think of is the cost.</p>
<p>As I’ve said before, National Pan Hel ( mostly Black students) stuff may be different, but cost was not a memorable issue for me in undergrad ( 1978). Tonight my sorority is having a “Winter Gala” fund raiser for our scholarship program. It is my most important social connection, above work, and my kids friend’s parents. I think my own D would be very happy to receive this small scholarship.</p>
<p>I was in a sorority in the 70s and am still friendly with several sisters. (I did not go to a southern school. But this is a school with a VERY strong Greek tradition.) I was the “poor” one. I worked to pay for everything. </p>
<p>My daughter rushed this year and joined a house. She was very reluctant to go through recruitment. She is now VERY happy that she pledged. If you live in the sorority is much less than the dorms and apartments. If you are a commuter it does give you a base on campus. The only drawback is that the girls tend to be friends only with each other. The sororities tend to have a higher gpa than the university at large. And the girls are also involved in fundraising for “their” charity.</p>