Good catch, romani. Please just take out the word “local,” since I was speaking generally only using this specific case.
I really hate when people attribute personality/lifestyle characteristics to students based on college choices. So if a girl chooses an all female college, she’s probably a lesbian. If a guy selects MIT, he’s a nerd. If someone selects Harvard, he’s a cut-throat type A person. And if any student decides on an elite school, he’s a soul-less individual chasing prestige.
Exactly, we agree - it doesn’t mean anything of the kind. My post wasn’t directed to you, as we seem to be in agreement. I’m tired of stereotypes attributed to students based on college choices when it’s such a complex decision. If a student decides on a local, state school they’re often considered (mostly here on CC) to be following friends, only choosing what’s comfortable, balking from a challenge, or inferior to those who choose elite schools. It’s not true, and it’s a lazy generalization.
“If a student decides on a local, state school they’re often considered (mostly here on CC) to be following friends, only choosing what’s comfortable, balking from a challenge, or inferior to those who choose elite schools. It’s not true, and it’s a lazy generalization.”
It begs the question why apply to a certain caliber school, though. I don’t get the point of applying to a top school (note I’m being vague about specific schools) and not having it seriously be in the mix. Honestly, I was indifferent between the schools that my kids had on their lists when they were (say) in the top 30 or thereabouts … but the ones that were way lower were safeties and there would have had had to be a compelling reason to have gone to them if they’d been accepted higher up the food chain. And AGAIN, I’m not talking the stupid, tiresome “#12 is vastly superior to #16” kind of nonsense. I’m talking wide bands.
My two top contenders were a top 20-30 school and a top 80-100 school, after looking at a range including publics, privates, small, medium, far, close. You could consider those wide bands.
In the end, I liked the surrounding city of the the lower-ranked school more, liked the distance of the lower-ranked school to three major cities of importance to me, liked the benefits of the honors college and the family-like college community of the lower-ranked school. I didn’t feel like its academics were inferior, either - half of my hs’ National Merit Finalists (I was only Commended) in the past five years or so have gone to that specific “lowe-ranked” school.
These may not be compelling reasons to you, or perhaps other, but I wasn’t looking to please or impress anyone but myself. Prestige and ranking didn’t mean much too me, and ultimately the lower-ranked school happened to win out of the higher-ranked school. So, I don’t know, maybe that’s confusing to some, but I went through my process and feel like I came out a winner. 
I don’t fault anyone for not looking beyond a certain “ranking” if one is a high stats kid. But I myself was a high stats kid when applying and found a treasure in a school ranked beyond what CC would deem acceptable. And that’s okay. I don’t doubt the caliber of the education I’ll receive, even though CC might? I would consider that perhaps a narrow-minded view at worst but it doesn’t affect me so I don’t fault it.
I chose MSU over U of M because I liked the physical and social environment better (I like trees!). Logical? Probably not. Regrets? Zero.
Just because someone doesn’t pick a school based on your (general “your”- not directed towards anyone in particular) criteria doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
But as someone pointed out up thread, we’re after the deadline so it appears the decision is set. So once again, OP, congratulations and best of luck to your son and family!
The OPs situation is a difficult one. I agree with the original post. I would have felt the same way.
My spouse and I are MSU graduates, and I think it is possible that the OP’s son can get an outstanding education at MSU, and that it can be as good or even better than his experience at NU.
Having said that, I completely agree with @Pizzagirl on this one. I would not be happy about it, in general. If one of my kids were admitted to NU and MSU, and chose MSU, I would want to discuss the rationale for that decision in detail with them because in most cases, I think it would be the wrong decision. It is not always better to choose the higher-ranked school, but when the ranking difference is significant, such as in this situation, I think that there should be some substantive reason and not just, “I didn’t like the vibe.” Having said that there are a number of reasons that I would think would be good reasons for choosing MSU and I would be open to their viewpoint, listening to them carefully, and hoping to reach a common, well-reasoned understanding. Clearly, the same decision is not right for everyone, but I would want to try to help my kid make the best decision for their specific situation.
You can’t consider a school if you don’t apply to it. If you’re not sure, It makes sense to apply. Not every student has their list ordered in an exact hierarchy. Not everyone knows what the financial aid or scholarship outcomes will be. Teenagers are maturing, and sometimes experiencing a rapidly evolving viewpoint. What they thought was most important in the fall may look different in the spring. It may look different when the decision becomes a reality! They may be taking things into consideration that they hadn’t thought were important. etc.
“I didn’t like the vibe.” That would probably be good enough for me. We are not talking about Northwestern vs. community college here. And hey, community college could even be okay as a start for some kids.
Believe it or not, sometimes high school seniors aren’t quite sure on where they want to go or even what type of school they feel is a best fit for them… so they apply to a broad range of schools and see what happens. And that’s OK… better to have more choices than less (generally… though choices can make decisions very difficult!) 
Parents need to buy the T-shirt and enjoy the ride. This kid would do well at any Podunk U and MSU is NOT just any state university!
As a student, can I just say how much this has made me appreciate my parents’ unwavering support throughout this whole process? Even when it came down to higher-ranked vs. lower-ranked schools, I don’t think it even occurred to them to try to sway me one way or the other, or express disappoint either way. For parents of future hs seniors reading this, please support your children during this process, and support the choice they make in the end.
(Barring financial constrictions which imo should be set from the beginning and made clear so as to not have difficulty in the end as has often been seen here on CC)
We have explicitly said financial considerations are a different matter. We are talking about these choices in the ABSENCE of material financial differences.
“I don’t think that’s a choice that smacks of being “mature and responsible” and turning down a “brand name.” To me, it smacks of backing away from a challenge and expanded horizons.”
Me too. Maybe this kid made exactly the right choice. Maybe he had terrific reasons. But we don’t know that, and in his parents’ place, I’d be worried, and I’d investigate.
I’m not concerned about what Northwestern has that Michigan State doesn’t (though the answer is, a national student body). I’m concerned about what MSU has that NU doesn’t: namely, the opportunity to coast in big, easy classes. We all know that a motivated, goal-oriented student can get a lot out of an MSU. But a kid who wants to phone it in can do that WAY more easily at MSU.
Okay but this forum and these choices don’t exist in a bubble so when I say something like “parents, you should support your children’s choices” I’m going to clarify that I’m speaking outside of financial differences precisely so that I’m not misinterpreted. I’m basically saying exactly that: these choices in the absence of material financial differences should warrant equal support so I’m not seeing the issue in my post… Anyway, I think I was clear enough and voiced the points I felt were needed to be said, so I’m out.
I dropped back in here when I saw that SomeOldGuy posted. Does nm mean “no more”? I really want it to!
Both my kids made their college decisions independently. No disappointment in their decisions. We got to visit two cities, we perhaps never would have. Win-Win! Incidentally, both did not go to the higher ranked school they got into. Though the rank gap was very small. Be happy, not disappointed.Things will work out.
@Hanna, I can assure you that coasting in big, easy classes was not a consideration. I don’t think retaking the ACT because you’re disappointed with a 34 or writing application essays for Stanford, Yale, Swarthmore, Washington & Lee, Northwestern, Chicago, and Notre Dame is something you do if you’re afraid of being challenged.
I think my son is perfectly happy with the thought of being a Professional Engineer and prefers to be less than two hours from home. It’s not the choice I would have made (though it very well could have been the choice I would have made as a HS Senior), but he is 18 and will not need anything from me to matriculate to MSU other than a ride.
Wouldn’t the time to figure out you want to be within 2 hours of home be BEFORE you (as an Ohio resident) write applications for schools in California, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Illinois and Indiana? (Ok, I don’t know where you are in Ohio. Maybe South Bend is within 2 hours of you. But you get my point.)
Good to know, Hanna, you think that you can “coast in big, easy classes” at MSU. Somehow, I wonder though if an engineering student at MSU is doing much coasting ?
Some kids, like the OP’s , probably do cast a wide net but in the end have good reasons for their final choice. Many kids that are viable candidates for far flung schools choose not to pursue it, or do pursue it and end up staying closer nonetheless. Nothing wrong with either choice- far or near. It’s the adults that sometimes put their own pressure onto it, based on their own stuff. Best of luck to your son at MSU! Go Spartans!
@Pizzagirl, I suspect many students of modest means apply to schools and wait for admissions decisions before expending limited resources on visits. Amherst actually paid for a visit. Northwestern reimbursed us for travel expenses. Stanford and Yale are, well, Stanford and Yale. Some of the others are Questbridge partner schools that inundated us with emails begging him to apply.
I don’t know that the reality of being four hours from home (and on the opposite side of a major city) set in until our second visit. I do know that the elitist attitude that you project was clearly evident at Michigan and was enough of a turnoff that he didn’t finish the application.