I don’t understand the point of your post at all, myyalieboy. There’s not one iota of a trade off “down” from the Ivies to Stanford and it’s ludicrous to say you were “uncomfortable” with Stanford as though it were some kind of lesser school. This really has nothing to do with the situation described here, where someone is dropping 80 points in the pecking order. It makes me wonder if the point of your post was bragging versus describing a comparable situation.
@oldfort: “Dear child”?
@myyalieboy, my personal reaction to what you said is “Wut?!?!”
I personally rank Stanford over Harvard or any other Ivy. Now, I can understand other people may have other preferences, but the idea that Stanford would be much worse at “rocketing” a kid to her dreams or even entertaining the idea of Stanford being a “big mistake” (assuming that fit isn’t an issue, which it obviously isn’t) just sounds too dotty to me.
Mind you, I have zero connections to Stanford or any Ivy.
I never met any of those future movers and shakers at Harvard - though I did know Deval Patrick (former governor of MA) pretty well and was in a class with Grover Norquist once. (I have no memory of him though.) I think for a future engineer, who probably wants to remain in the midwest MSU is a perfectly reasonable choice. But I understand being a bit disappointed - my kiddo chose Carnegie Mellon over Harvard. Absolutely the correct choice for him - and we knew it. It didn’t mean were weren’t a teensy bit disappointed too.
The point of myyalieboy is that he/she was disappointed over their child’s choice of Stanford. The title of this thread is “Disappointed in Your Child’s College Decision?” The reasoning may well be ludicrous, as Stanford vs an Ivy is like the difference between TweedleDee and TweedleDum in prestige, worth of education, opportunities, broadening horizons, connections, brand name, etc.,etc. (it’s just different flavours), but it is still relevant to this discussion because the parent was disappointed.
@albert69, sure, but to me, there is a difference between being disappointed for purely emotional reasons (I would like my sons to wear the old school colors as well, so I completely understand where @mathmom is coming from) and being disappointed because you think your kid is passing up major opportunities. What seems dotty to me is that @myyalieboy seems to think that there is a big difference in opportunities between Stanford and some Ivies, which, yes, dotty is the right word.
@PurpleTitan That’s their opinion and their entitled to it, however ridiculous it is. It certainly can’t be the craziest thing ever said on CC…
It wasn’t just being disappointed for sentimental reasons. There are real things you are giving up by not having a residential college system in a place where you will meet movers and shakers in other fields. Realistically I don’t think my kid would have taken advantage of what makes Harvard Harvard. He did take advantages of CMU’s strengths, so it was the right decision. But it was more a question of recognizing the kid on the couch than a matter of sentiment.
I agree that imagining there’s any qualitative difference between a Stanford and a Harvard education seems pretty ludicrous.
“The point of myyalieboy is that he/she was disappointed over their child’s choice of Stanford. The title of this thread is “Disappointed in Your Child’s College Decision?” The reasoning may well be ludicrous, as Stanford vs an Ivy is like the difference between TweedleDee and TweedleDum in prestige, worth of education, opportunities, broadening horizons, connections, brand name, etc.,etc. (it’s just different flavours), but it is still relevant to this discussion because the parent was disappointed.”
No, it’s not. The discussion isn’t about turning down one opportunity for a different but essentially equal opportunity. The discussion is about a kid who got into top notch schools deliberately choosing to go down a few notches. Initially it wasn’t about finances, but the OP later clarified there was a financial component to it. “My child turned down Princeton for Stanford” is completely irrelevant. Even Carnegie Mellon vs Harvard isn’t all that relevant (apologies to mathmom). We are talking about going significantly down in tiers, not tiny tradeoffs.
I know it’s purely anecdotal. My kid is not Ivy League material, but it doesn’t mean she’s not academic or intellectual. It’s not like every kid who’s not at the flagship is slack-jawed yokel.
@irishmom02 Or as my youngest always like to put it…sallow denizens of the lane.
Folks, get used to it. Those of us with older kids (into their thirties) have had to bite their tongue when a daughter decides to give up a Fulbright to stay close to a fiance, or when a son takes the “good but not outstanding” residency he could have taken so his wife doesn’t have to leave her job, or when kids decide to leave a fantastic job (which the kid loves, BTW, and which pays well, good quality of life, challenging work) to join a frat brother in a start-up for zero pay living in someone’s basement rent free. This is called life; your kids are going to be making choices starting right now which you won’t see as optimal given the other options on the table.
OP, you should take it as a compliment. You must have done something right- been a good role model if your son wants to attend your university. Hats off to you. My husband and I both attended the same university, yet we could not convince either child to go there. One applied and was admitted but wouldn’t even go look at it. The other did go on an overnight visit but didn’t like it. Touche’.
Personally, this would make me incredibly proud. It means I raised a kid who can compromise and see the “big picture” 
This thread is bizarre! Based on the college choice of a young man none of us know, posters are attributing all manner of personality traits to him. Re: #30, so if a student selects a top 10 college over his parent’s much lower ranked alma mater, does that mean the parent was NOT a good role model? Also, given the student wanted to attend MSU since he was in elementary school–at which point he was unlikely to be aware of his parents’ college savings–how much financial altruism can be credited to him now? Could it be the financial justification is an attempt to appease mom or dad? As for being independent-minded, how can you be sure he isn’t following a lot of his high school friends to the local university and that’s why he selected it? Assuming anything about him based on this choice, other than he prefers MSU, is ridiculous.
“My kid is not Ivy League material, but it doesn’t mean she’s not academic or intellectual. It’s not like every kid who’s not at the flagship is slack-jawed yokel.”
Can we stop with the straw man already? No one has said that students at MSU (or wherever) are slack-jawed yokels who can’t add 2+2 and get 4.
But I find it odd on a college board in which we routinely discuss the pros / cons / desirability of college options, including elite ones, that people are “surprised” when a kid turns down 2 of the top schools in the country for one that’s appreciably below – and it’s not driven by a very specific major or program only available there, nor is it driven by a personal issue (such as the need to stay in-state to obtain specific medical care or care for an aging parent).
"OP, you should take it as a compliment. You must have done something right- been a good role model if your son wants to attend your university. Hats off to you. "
My S attends my / husband’s alma mater, but that’s not evidence of good or bad parenting either way. It’s just that he really liked it, and was fortunate enough to get in.
nm
Well considering he’s in Ohio, MSU is not the local U 
I ended up picking one of the majority universities in my school, and I’m kind of surprised this somehow means I’m possibly less independent-minded than others. There’s a lot of speculating here, both about OP and about those who a) turn down higher-ranked universities b) attend lower-ranked universities (oh god, top-100 aka top 3% of higher institutions in the US - the horror!) c) attend a university also attended by high school friends. Frankly as someone who falls into all three, I’m rooting for OP’s son!
^ It doesn’t mean anything of the kind, which was precisely my point. One’s college choice simple reveals a personal preference; it does not imply any positive or negative character traits. Some on this thread seem to think it does.