<p>What do you do when your child refuses to even consider any other college than the one he thinks he wants to go to? </p>
<p>It isn't an Ivy, it isn't expensive, it's only 6 hours from home ... I should be happy! But this is what I would list as his safety. He is in, there is no doubt and finances wont be a concern. But I want him to at least look around and consider other schools. Spread his wings and reach a little higher! Even if he doesn't get accepted or the scholarship and FA aid package isn't good enough so he has to decline, I just want him to try. </p>
<p>When I mention schools and taking a trip to visit them in Houston, Boston, Chicago etc... he says no. Flat out no and wont discuss it. </p>
<p>Has anyone been in this situation and if so what did you do?</p>
<p>He is accepted at a school you can afford and doesn’t want to apply anywhere else? What would I do? Absolutely nothing. He’s happy. You can pay the bills. I would leave. it. alone.</p>
<p>I was the child in this exact same situation. I only applied to one safety school that I absolutely loved. I’m now a sophomore at that university and I’ve never regretted my decision. My advice: let him go where he wants.</p>
<p>I concur. Kids who are happy tend to do well. Imagine him getting in somewhere <em>you</em> would be happy with, and to make <em>you</em> happy, he goes there. Do you think he’d be happier there? Maybe. But is it worth the risk? </p>
<p>Congrats to your boy. Now enjoy the first of the lasts…games, dances, and kid-stuff.</p>
<p>Oh I left off the fact that it is ranked #2 party school in the nation and that makes me nervous.</p>
<p>But thank you for your thoughts … I was just wondering how I could get him to look at other schools. Maybe it isnt necessary at all - I will just pray he stays on track and learns to prioritize without me there to remind him :)</p>
<p>What do you do when your wife only wants to go an inexpensive ethnic restaurant on date night?</p>
<p>I can afford to take her out someplace nicer and I have great coupons for restaurants in nicer, more prestigious locations. She doesn’t even realize how good the food tastes at some of these places or how fancy the atmosphere can be.</p>
<p>However, she is comfortable at the familiar spot. Their food fits her tastes well and they serve generous portions. Because it costs less, she will also enjoy dessert there.</p>
<p>I would count my blessings and enjoy an unpretentious date night.</p>
<p>tlc - I wouldn’t worry too much about the party school status. Our state flagship has been one of the top 10 party schools in the nation for as long as I can remember and the vast majority of kids I know who went there (which is pretty much the vast majority of kids I know, period) have done just fine. All the same, I’m glad S1 went to another in-state university. S2 has mentioned this school in passing but he wants to play a sport in college even if he has to walk on, so he’s looking mostly at smaller LACs.</p>
<p>Oh I left off the fact that it is ranked #2 party school in the nation and that makes me nervous.</p>
<p>lol</p>
<p>Who cares. Those rankings aren’t scientific. Most schools are party schools. What are you nervous about? If he’s going to party, he’s going to do that anywhere…even at a top school.</p>
<p>Is this Ole Miss? In another thread you mention that your son will go to Ole Miss if he gets an ACT 32 and a scholarship.</p>
<p>My son is planning on attending Ole Miss. He is a junior this year and has a 3.5 GPA unweighted. His current ACT is 25, but that was before he started studying and practicing. His goal is to get it to at least a 30, but hopefully a 32. His last practice test he scored a 29</p>
<p>Yes, it is Ole Miss. And he will go regardless if he gets the 32 or not, I just am REALLY hoping he gets the 32 and the scholarship. I am just having second thoughts but I know no matter where he goes there will be partying. Part of me just wants him to try to reach a little higher I guess.</p>
<p>If his first choice is an affordable safety, why worry? Especially since it is a state flagship school which should have a population of in-state high achievers embedded in it.</p>
<p>Yes my son was like this. And I’ll tell you THEY forget they were like this. I remember we arrived late at night to the hotel so we didn’t see anything the night before. He said, “I don’t know why we’re here - I’ve already decided I’m going to the other school.” In the morning the sun was shining, we’d had a good breakfast (meaning everyone was in a good mood) and 15 min into the tour he had decided on the new school.</p>
<p>If it is important to you - and it must be or you wouldn’t be posting, I’d do this: (quietly) do research to come up with, say, 10 schools YOU think would be good. Show him the list and ask him to pick -say, 3 to apply to. Sit on him (so to speak) to make sure the applications get done. I did this by insisting on his time in occasional 15min intervals. It stretched out for a long time (and these were relatively easy state u applications), but they did get done eventually.</p>
<p>He applied to 5 total. He got into 2. Either of the 2 would have been well ok, but we do think the final choice was much better.</p>
<p>He doesn’t remember any of this - this way -he says. It’s a burden we bare (bear?) as parents.</p>
<p>Oh yes, this happens. I don’t see any reason you can’t say hey, I’ve arranged a trip for the two of us to _____ and ________ so clear your calender. When he objects, you just admit this is all about you, and he is humoring you. No pressure, just that you wanted to look at some other places. As the person footing the bill, it’s okay for you to ask this. Just don’t expect him to like it, or change his mind.</p>
<p>Thank you Snugapug that was what I was hoping to hear from at least one person I just dont want to force him to look a little further than his own back yard just in case that perfect fit is out there that we never considered, if it’s the wrong approach to take.</p>
<p>I want him to keep his options open. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Ole Miss. I went there, my sister went there. Its a FUN school lol but I still just think what if … </p>
<p>My son is SMART but oh so lazy … that is what I am hoping he outgrows. He has so much untapped potential. I really dont think I am only saying that because I am his mom either. I dont feel that way about my other kids so I really dont think I am being delusional. </p>
<p>And yes kids do remember what they want to lol</p>
<p>You seem to be treating the symptom instead of its cause. No amount of forcing him to visit more selective and/or more rigorous colleges is going to instill a desire to excel that is not already there.</p>
<p>If you want him to be more ambitious, there may be little you can effectively do at this point. But you will certainly have more leverage addressing that issue directly than by forcing him to go through the motions of what an ambitious applicant would do.</p>
<p>In the end, if he will be happy, I wouldn’t worry too much. History is filled with tales of great people who discovered their drive and ambition later in life. Meanwhile, better he should derive joy and fulfillment from his choices in the present than chafe at expectations he does not yet have the inner desire to fulfill.</p>
<p>And don’t worry about the party school thing. It’s an arbitrary honor seemingly doled out according to caprice instead of scientific methodology. The rate of on-campus drug consumption is higher at some of the small, rigorous liberal arts colleges than it is at many big state universities that typically dominate the party school lists. </p>
<p>It would not surprise me if I were to learn that certain state universities experiencing a slip in applications surreptitiously lobby for their own inclusion on such lists, to drive increased interest from applicants.</p>
<p>It is certainly the case that at any large university, excessive partying is always an available option, but never a requirement unless one specifically chooses a lifestyle that requires it (e.g. pledging a particularly raucous Greek chapter).</p>
<p>I’ve seen this with students of all abilities. Deer in the headlights. Ivy-league enrollee we know had to be grounded by her parents to get her apps done. It happens.</p>
<p>What year is he? Neither one of my boys, nor their peers, really engaged to any meaningful degree in a college search until the summer prior to their Sr. years. This was despite touring colleges spring of their Jr years. Also, you are on a totally different page then he is. Any student that is ‘Dead Set’ on Old Miss is probably not going to make a leap to consider anything in Boston or Chicago. If I were you (and I have very little information so I don’t even know that I’d do this) but, if I really wanted him to consider something else I would be looking for schools that had elements of the one he has already told you he likes. That means probably staying in the South, school spirit, consider his proposed major, not in an urban area, etc. In fact, ask him to make a list of the top 5 things he likes about Ole Miss. This may give you direction. Perhaps it’s the geography/climate, the big time sports, the size, all of these things you can work with. </p>
<p>It’s like you telling your husband you want to go to the beach and him trying to talk you into considering something in a busy european city. You might consider a different beach, a cruise even, but a busy landlocked urban vaca just isn’t going to work for you.</p>
<p>All you can do is offer suggestions. I do know some families do have a ‘parents choice’ application, but that’s usually when students are applying to multiple schools so it’s just one in the mix and not viewed as an ‘intrusion’. I will say students changing their minds from fall to spring is not uncommon. They find out ‘too many’ people from their school are going and want something different (sometimes an ex), or make another visit and have a completely different impression the second time, or any number of reasons. Students go into accepted students day with a clear #1 and end up attending #3. Options are always nice IMHO, but they have to be the students options.</p>
and the scholarship. I am just having second thoughts but I know no matter where he goes there will be partying. Part of me just wants him to try to reach a little higher I guess.</p>