@skyoverme: You are too funny!
@OP: I checked your earlier posts on this thread. I would’ve tried harder to sway his decision but alas like others pointed out he’s the one who goes to college, and he must have very good reasons to choose MSU. With the motivation he has demonstrated, I am sure he will do great!
I could not convince my D to apply to some top reach schools. She does have the stat and chance to be admitted by those (was actually accepted by one reach school but declined the offer). But she said, she wants to be above average in a good school rather than below average in a great school. It actually makes financial sense. She just got another scholarship from the school for sophomore year.
Back in the day, I turned down Amherst because my state university gave me a full ride and admission to its honors program. It was a practical decision; I really, really wanted to go to Amherst. Looking back, though, I had a fantastic intellectual and social experience at my state university and I think it was the right decision. Visiting Amherst this past summer with my daughter, I wonder if I would have been happy there.
If your son prefers MSU from the outset, I believe he will have a great experience!
I know this is last years thread but I can see this happening this year with us. D has already stated that if she doesn’t get into one of her first two choices with some merit money, she will probably go to a school that I consider the lowest academically of all those she is applying to. We had very different reactions to our visit to the school - she loved it and I thought we should cross it off the list. But she should get into the honors college and get enough merit money to bring it well under budget, DH and I have discussed what we should do if she says that is where she wants to go and decided that we have to let her do it.
My D is very happy and having “the time of her life” in the HC at the biggest safety school that was on her list, but I still have been unable to put the sticker on my car… 
I find that sad. ITBgirl. If your D is having the time of her life, she is exactly where she belongs, yet you’re too embarrassed. Sad. Put the sticker on the car. My ex didn’t know his parents were proud of him until his father died, and by then it was too late. Don’t let your D feel she isn’t measuring up the way my ex did (for reasons that didn’t have to do with his choice of college).
My D has a low academic school on her list, but if she goes there, she’d be an auto-admit for the honors college and get a full-ride. She was very impressed with their honors program and the options in her major. If she goes there I might wonder if she’d have done better choosing some place else, but her hard work would have gotten her the merit money and the HC, so I would still be proud of her.
Please tell me this is just a poorly worded joke. If your child is very happy attending her school (and gets merit money?), then proudly put the sticker on the car. The message you are sending your child by not putting the sticker on the car is very loud and very clear and it’s not a particularly nice one.
There are those that just don’t put stickers on their car, you know…That’s what I thought was meant. Maybe not.
Congrats! MSU will prepare him well and I wish your whole family all the best.
Go green!
@sseamom, depends on how the kid is having the time of her life, IMO. Some kids have the time of their life boozing it up and engaging in, um, non-career-building extracurriculars, but I certainly wouldn’t feel proud of that.
Also, honors colleges can differ a lot in their rigor.
@me29034, if I was in your situation (and assuming that she is a high potential kid), I would allow that as an option, but I would tell the kid that since she is choosing a school with a lesser brand, I would expect her to perform well enough to get in to an elite grad program or to get a good job so that she has those as options.
Purple, “lesser brand” schools produce capable graduates, you know. My nieces went to “lesser brand” schools and one wasn’t even in the honors program(!), yet both have good jobs and were able to buy homes in an inflated market before they were 30, and on their own, too, no help from mom and dad or a partner. The idea that only “brand name schools” or “elite” grad schools are the only options for kids today is just nonsense. Some of the most successful people I know went to “lesser” schools and work at some “good jobs”. Of course, if a kid is getting a full ride at a “lesser” school, most parents wouldn’t have a say in where they decide to go…
And ITB didn’t say their kid was partying, but that the student is having the time of their life in the honors college While a “lesser” honors college may not rise to your level of rigor, it’s plenty for lots of students.
Also, ITB didn’t say that they never put any stickers on their car, Consolation, but that they were “still unable”. That implies that they WANT to, sort of, but are too embarrassed by the thought.
@sseamom, indeed they do. I certainly didn’t say they didn’t. And if they do go to a lesser brand school, I’d still expect them to do well enough to secure a good job or place at a good grad program. Do you object to that expectation?
If not, then I’m not sure what you are disagreeing with.
Purple, I was thinking that your implication was that going to a lesser brand meant that kids would not care to do well. That has not been my experience even if an elite grad school is off the table.
@sseamom, interesting. I guess people tend to read more than what is stated. So if I state that I expect people to obey traffic laws if they drive Ferraris, some people would think that I am implying that people who drive Ferraris break traffic laws and protest that there are many Ferrari drivers who do not?
If I bought my kid a particular car and said “since I’m buying you this I expect you to obey traffic laws” I should not be surprised if he asks if I wound expect otherwise with a different car.
@PurpleTitan, you said you’d tell a kid that since they are choosing a certain school you would expect certain things. The word “since” certainly suggests that there is a relationship between the choice and the expectation. I would hope that’s not what you meant but I got the same impression.
OK, to be fair, if my kid can get in to an elite college (but is not genius level) but decides to go to a school where the student body composition is more like the general population, I would expect something like being in the top 10 percent from him at the average school while expecting him to be top 10 percentage at an Ivy-equivalent would be a bit unrealistic (and a much higher bar). So the absolute expectation may stay the same, but the relative expectation would change.
Whether you want to admit it or not, while the opportunities for top students at non-elite schools may be just as good as those for students at elite schools, mediocre students at non-elite schools don’t tend to be hot commodities.
“Whether you want to admit it or not, while the opportunities for top students at non-elite schools may be just as good as those for students at elite schools, mediocre students at non-elite schools don’t tend to be hot commodities.”
Agreed- but mediocre students dont get offered merit scholarships. And that is what we are talking about, yes?
ITbgirl, I was in your shoes- once, 9 years ago.
DS was accepted at 12 colleges that were considered far more elite than the U he decided to go to, and the full tuition scholarship he recieved from them was a big factor in his decision.
He did get a lot of “you’re going WHERE??” comments when people first heard of his decision. But when they heard about the scholarship no more negative comments were uttered…
Those days are long gone now…
@menloparkmom, kids who get merit scholarships certainly can turn in to mediocre students if they don’t put in the effort.
well sure…
But going to a lesser college wont turn them into mediocre students.
There is no direct or even indirect cause and effect for that outcome…
Quite possibly. But I would have said that I was “still unable” to put my kid’s college sticker on my car and I was certainly not embarrassed by his school choice, because I was embarrassed by the notion of being one of those people who had their kids’ colleges emblazoned on their car. I remember when we attended an incoming student + family event the summer before he started, and ours was the only car without a sticker. And some were alums. 
But they have many very devoted alumni.
I never owned a college t-shirt or class ring or anything of that sort. Maybe I’m just projecting.