Also, usually a merit scholarship requires the student maintain a relatively high GPA–mediocre won’t cut it.
I get that, Consolation. H is the same way. No stickers have ever graced any car he has owned. He’s already said he will make an exception for D’s choice of college because she’s his only child and well, he’s pretty fond of her. But he won’t even put a Seahawks sticker on his car and he’s one of those die-hard fans.
@menloparkmom, if my sons choose a full-tuition scholarship at a decent university/college that offers lots of opportunities over full-pay at any elite (other than my alma mater), I’d be secretly relieved. But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t expect them to gain the opportunities that students at an elite would get if they show that they have that potential.
@sseamom My D is now a soph at what is likely your D’s “low academic school,” chosen over some much higher rated ones, part of the Honors College and living in Honors Hall. She loves it, has found a core of non-drinking, high academic friends and doing very well. Happy kid = happy parents. No stickers, but I do have a t-shirt because I caught one thrown into the stands at a volleyball game.
I hesitate to even respond again. I was really just trying to relate to the OP. We can’t help how we “feel”.
In my defense, D hasn’t put a sticker on her car yet either. AND she knows we are proud of her, she did get two scholarships to this school along with auto admission to graduate school, and she turned down many scholarships and other HC’s for this one. Anyway, my story is out there on HC, I don’t need to rehash it here.
menloparkmom – thanks, you seem to get it. "He did get a lot of "you're going WHERE??" comments when people first heard of his decision. But when they heard about the scholarship no more negative comments were uttered....."
I still seem to be getting a few “well, I hope she doesn’t regret it” or “she can transfer” comments.
My parents have neither a sticker of my undergrad, MSU, nor my prestigious graduate school. They don’t like stickers.
I have an MSU alum sticker on mine. I do not have a University of Michigan one because despite grad school here, I will always identify more with my undergrad.
I did hear a lot of “You chose STATE over U of M?!” and similar questions. I always responded with a smile and a “Yup! One of the best decisions I ever made!”
Only stickers on my car are mandatory parking stickers. Doesn’t mean I’m not proud of all of my kids’ schools.
I think ITB’s point was not intended to literally focus on the sticker itself, but on the fact that ITB is still adjusting to the idea that the D chose a school with a less impressive name than what was available to her.
I applaud the D, even as I completely understand how ITB feels. It’s like choosing the perfect home, even it’s not in the most impressive neighborhood – over that house in the top location that just doesn’t feel right. People will always tell you, “location location location!” but sometimes it’s not about that.
“I still seem to be getting a few “well, I hope she doesn’t regret it” or “she can transfer” comments.”
fortunately, those kind of remarks will also soon occur less frequently… :-*
@menloparkmom,
Apparently, you have a wonderful son with his head screwed on right.
If I were him, I would guilt-trip you into paying for the most expensive school out there with your HELOC (if I interpret your moniker correctly). :o)
you have a wonderful son with his head screwed on right.
that I do! 
Y’know, I’ve got a NMSF (waiting for confirmation, but he’s well above the likely cutoff) with excellent stats, ECs, recs … and while there are a couple of “name” schools (from the “top colleges” list) on his list, including one or two Ivies, he’s looking much more closely at schools with excellent honors programs but a more diverse - including in aptitude - student body overall. He doesn’t care about prestige, and while I can post a photo of him at our local MLS team’s match on Facebook, I’ve been asked to not post anything about his awards.
I’d love for him to go to my alma mater - but since that’s not going to happen, I’m really good with him following his own path. I’ll put stickers on the car and wear the t-shirt. (I refused to EVER put those “My child is an honor student…” things on, though.) I think I would only be disappointed with his college decision if he ended up going to a prestigious school just because of the name, if he felt one of his other options was a better, more comfortable fit. As he may be about to drop an Ivy because he’s located a SLAC in the same city that he liked better on a visit, I’m not too worried about that happening. I want him to be true to himself - that’s all. He’s more than a pile of grades and test scores, and I expect him to take his whole self into consideration when he makes his final decision.
In the past two years, I have been surprised to learn that two high stats kids in my children’s peer group turned down prestigious schools, including Ivies and MIT. One went to the flagship state school on a full ride. The other went to a school I’ve never heard of, and still can’t recall the name, in Florida, also on a full ride. Both were extremely bright, independent and ambitious kids. I was again surprised that the parents enthusiastically supported the students’ decision to pick the full-ride options. They reasoned that medical schools (coincidentally, both are pre-med) won’t care what brand is on the undergraduate degree if their child does well and both are sure to do well. They know medical school will probably be full-pay, so they were thrilled to have their long-term financial burden lightened. Why pay more to arrive at the same place is their reasoning.
If my kid got into an Ivy and turned it down, I would be terribly disappointed. I don’t think I could resist showing it, honestly. BUT I can’t argue with the logic behind choosing a practical, cost-effective solution.
In late July before his freshman year, our oldest son turned down a top tier university to play tennis at a tiny regional liberal arts college. In retrospect it was a terrible decision. He disliked his teammates, and it limited his employment prospects, social circle and professional network. He’s now two years removed from graduation and he hasn’t had the desire to visit once, or donate a $1 for that matter.
Good thoughts, PragmaticMom. I agree with all of your points. I’d just make the one counter point that securing admission to medical school is still much more likely from a top school. We’ve been looking mainly at top Liberal Arts colleges (Williams, Bowdoin, Middlebury, Pomona, etc.), and they all have astonishingly high med school admit rates – 80-90%. State U will be nowhere near those numbers. I grew up with many friends – good students all – who aspired to medical school (from state universities) but could not get in. Again, I’m not really refuting your logic, which is sound. Just an additional spin on it.
@SwimDad99, note that a school having much higher quality appplicants is not the same as raising your own chances. Also, did you explore if those LACs use a committee letter? If they do, they can keep acceptance rates high while actually cutting down your own individual chances (by recommending only sure-fire candidates).
SwimDad – Are the med school admit rates from these LACs higher because the schools have a better reputation or a perceived better quality students? Or are the higher admit rates a function of diversity? I assume medical schools probably get way more State U apps than LAC apps, maybe on a very grand scale - 20 to 1 or better. It would make sense that LACs would get the edge since many students who lean toward hard sciences don’t choose liberal arts majors or liberal arts schools. If your student does well at a LAC where you have fewer competitors, he or she is bound to stand out – and perhaps that compensates for any perception that the LAC is weak on hard sciences.
No matter. You point is an excellent one. I will ask daughter to look into some of your suggestions.
That high of an acceptance rate to med school means they are doing some serious weeding out, or determining who qualifies to be “pre-med.”
Really? That doesn’t seem to be the case at D’s LAC.
D is technically pre-med but only to keep her options open, she’s more interested in public health and plans to major in Chem. So she may weed herself out. That said, pre-med reqs include some basic sciences but not a ton (8? one per semester?), and with the new MCAT look to include Psych and a lot of other subjects as well.
…and actually her LAC suggests a year between undergrad and med school, to do research or peace corps or something med-related.
Regarding the high med school acceptance rate from an LAC, one school administrator explained that LAC professors are able to give detailed letters of recommendations with lots of personal anecdotes, while at larger universities the TA might have to give a synopsis of the student to the professor who actually completes the LOR.
I’m sure there are a lot of other factors into the high acceptance rate, but this was one the administrator mentioned. And he also said his longest recommendation was 12 page double-sided, single spaced.
Update: year one at MSU is done. He actually achieved sophomore status after the first semester due to AP credits and college courses he took in HS. Made the Dean’s list both semesters. He and his roommate are sharing a quad with two others from his dorm, so he’s made friends. Other than coming home two weeks in a row for playoff football games at our HS, he stayed at school every weekend other than holidays. He is a huge sports fan right now, and a college football playoff team and a basketball team ranked in the Top 5/10 almost all year was an added bonus.
I was looking through my phone today for some work-related pictures, however, and came across pictures we took of him and my wife at Northwestern last Spring during accepted students weekend and it actually made me sad.
My only other concern is that the scholarship money at MSU is so generous that he doesn’t have to work this summer and appears in no hurry to find a job. I can’t say that $15,000 to $20,000 in debt at graduation would be good for him, but I can’t help but wonder if a little financial pressure would motivate him a little more.