9 years ago my daughter chose San Diego State over UC Irvine and UC Santa Cruz. I was a “UC” snob, but she was right and I was wrong. She had a great undergrad experience, was very successful, was successful in grad school and has a great job. About 6 times a year she will say “can you believe you wanted me to go to UCI?”
LOL, tx, I say the same thing to my parents now that I teach students at the university I turned down.
Happiness, IMO, is the most important thing (of course, assuming that the financial situation is doable for all options). Happiness is FAR more important than “prestige”- which, of course, is ever-changing. Schools rise and fall in terms of prestige.
Prestige…fit…happiness…better…the endless cycle of CC threads - how to tell what school is better?
@romanigypsyeyes, college prestige in the US changes veeeeeeery slowly if at all. There was a report/ranking that tiered undergraduate institutions over 100 years ago. Pretty much all the schools that we would now consider top tier were in the top tier back then. If I remember correctly, the only schools that weren’t in the top tier back then who are now are Duke (which was a small struggling religious school back then, was called Trinity, and hadn’t received the big Duke bequest yet) and Swarthmore. Also, Rice hadn’t been founded yet.
Purple, I’m not talking about the top 15 schools or so. 
But that’s roughly where NU and Amherst are.
And in terms of publics, I don’t see Cal/UMich/UVa giving up their perch at the top of the heap of publics in the next few generations. Especially since UMich and UVa have built up their endowments and get so little state funding as a percentage of their budget these days, so the harm that legislatures can cause them is limited.
A school like MSU has a different mission than NU, Amherst, or even UofM. I can’t ever see undergraduate admissions being selective enough to facilitate much of a ratings jump - and thankfully so. Had MSU been more selective, my late father likely wouldn’t have become a school teacher and his oldest grandson may well have not had the opportunity to turn down Northwestern (much to his father’s chagrin).
Sometimes a person with the ability to be a neurosurgeon becomes a general practitioner. A person with the ability to be a Wall Street investment banker becomes an accountant or a schoolteacher. A person is offered a promotion in a big city, and decides to stay in their smaller city or town for lifestyle reasons.
The obvious choice is not always the best choice.
And “opportunities” come in a variety of packages.
@consolation, I’d argue that if you are going to major in French, does it really matter which school you go to? For some strange reason, I know a lot of French majors who went to all kinds of schools. My sister started at Middlebury but transferred to Wisconsin - much happier after the transfer. SIL started at Northwestern, dropped out and finished at an urban state college, so far down on the prestige list that it isn’t even listed (she probably earns the most of any). A cousin went to Bowdoin, had to leave for medical reasons, did time at either a community college or low level directional, finished at Wesleyan. All three used their French degrees to get a first job, which then got them to grad school. My sister became a land man, then lawyer, now 4th grade teacher. My SIL was a secretary, then telecommunications exec (and they paid for grad school at U of Phoenix, and she makes a ton). Cousin is a secretary in NYC. All learned French. All got jobs speaking French no matter which school she went to. The one who had the most fun? By far at Wisconsin. Best career? Urban city college and then U of Phoenix. Best prestige college? Secretary. All had been high school honor students and could have gone to any LAC.
I support OP’s son. He picked the school he likes. So what if he doesn’t want to sit around discussing philosophy in small groups of 10 or want to dine with the university dean? I didn’t want to either. No one has ever cared what schools I went to. No one ever asks unless we are talking sports.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Finally someone has hit a nail on the head! There is nothing wrong with a university that accepts a wide swath of people, including gasp lower stats people without amazing ECs, LoRs, GPAs, and test scores. A university that opens it’s doors to many is a place that cares about helping the general population better themselves, not just the “top” 10% or or so of students. (Or athletes, etc.) It’s the “anybody gets a chance” attitude that I like. I’m going to a school with a 96% acceptance rate. To me, that means that the school will give almost anyone who wants to learn a chance, rather than just people that have been priming themselves for college admissions since preschool. Academically, “top” schools might be able to teach things faster or at a higher level because they cherry pick their applicants so that they are the best of the best, academically. But “lower” universities should not be condemned for fostering a different sort of learning, one that is more likely to be completed and utilized by those that are not geniuses or the world’s hardest workers at the earliest stages of their life, but who still are trying to have a productive life in order to support themselves and possibly a family.
@twoinanddone, that wasn’t the question.
I’m puzzled as to why the OP’s son even applied to Amherst since he apparently wants to be an engineer and they don’t have an engineering major. I wouldn’t have sent my child to Amherst under those circumstances and I think it is a good sign he recognized that school is not for him.
My daughter decided on engineering, but she included a lot of school types when she was searching. She was also considering chemistry or accounting. What she figured out was that she didn’t want an LAC. She didn’t like small schools at all, and the more of them we looked at, the more her idea of engineering became fixed. I loved Amherst and if she had been offered a spot there and turned it down (she didn’t even apply) I would have been a little disappointed in the idea of lost opportunity but I know that it wasn’t the school for her. I would not have been disappoint in HER, nor would I think she was just taking an easier road by wanting to go to a different type of school.
The OP is disappointed in her student’s college choice. Except for those parents who never let their kids make their own choices, we have probably all experienced that feeling of disappointment in some decision our kid has made. But, @Consolation, you said
I wonder, just what do you imagine college life is like at a place like MSU? Perhaps this student has chosen MSU precisely because he believes it will challenge him and expand his horizons more so than the safeness of a small LAC! That is precisely why I chose a large state U. After attending a small college prep HS, the easiest, safest thing in the world for me would be to attend a small LAC, regardless of how high it’s ranking.
Now, as to Post #54, sorry Consolation. I thought others were also horrified, but in fact they were all just commenting on your personal horror. Yes, my high schoolers played football. Yes, we did allow (but not encourage) it. You are incorrect, however, in saying that
Why would it be out of my hands? I’m the parent. I could have ended their football playing days at any time had I so chosen. You can’t raise a house full of boys without some injuries, but none of them came from football, nor from wrestling, nor from hunting, nor from whopping each other with sticks, nor from any of the other violent pastimes I allowed. Oh, wait, some of the injuries did come from the stick whopping, but in my defense, I was not aware it was occurring at the time. As for your academically-talented French major, why would you think that would appall me? I’m not appalled by any major or college a student chooses. If a student majors in French, I care not. If he has a job, wonderful. If it didn’t work out, I’m sorry, but not appalled. Unless the student thinks it’s my fault or my problem or my taxes should pay back the loans. Then I’m appalled.
“Happiness is FAR more important than “prestige”- which, of course, is ever-changing. Schools rise and fall in terms of prestige.”
Oh good lord, the difference between MSU and NU/Amherst isn’t just about “prestige.”
“Sometimes a person with the ability to be a neurosurgeon becomes a general practitioner. A person with the ability to be a Wall Street investment banker becomes an accountant or a schoolteacher. A person is offered a promotion in a big city, and decides to stay in their smaller city or town for lifestyle reasons.”
And no one, least of all me, is saying that it’s “better” to be a neurosurgeon than a GP, or a banker vs a schoolteacher.
But there is a different caliber of student body at a large state school with a mission to serve the state broadly (which is a perfectly fine mission) and a top tier private. A Marriott is a perfectly fine hotel too but it’s not the Four Seasons. That’s no knock on the Marriott.
I’ve spent some time at MSU & NW the past few years (I have no ties to either) and I like the feel of MSU, it feels very comfortable. The faculty (for undergrads) are very approachable and helpful and the students are very friendly and welcoming. The students and faculty seem very down to earth there. The campus is very beautiful with a large arboretum/park. The undergraduate dorms seem to be pretty nice (for undergraduate dorms) and the dorm food is excellent. The Dairy Store at MSU sells it’s own home made ice cream in various Big 10 flavors. MSU also has the National Superconducting Cyclotron Laboratory operated by the NSF and plenty of excellent research opportunities for undergraduates. Just off campus there are plenty of inexpensive eating options. The football, basketball, and hockey stadiums are on one side of campus, so if a student is in a dorm on that side of campus, it is a short walk to an event.
@greeninohio Regarding “NU is arguably the best private research university within a 4 hour drive” University of Chicago would strongly disagree with this statement.
@CollegeGrad79 Someplace up the thread @greeninohio revealed that the son was interested in engineering and the Univ. of Chicago doesn’t offer much in the way of engineering. My daughter might argue the case for Carnegie Mellon but dependent on the particular field.
Back to the OP. Its wonderful that yo can let your child make their decision as to where they want to go to school. It is their life, and while yes, we/you may have wanted a different choice for them, they will thrive and appreciate your support. Congrats.
He was wait listed at Chicago, so I guess I should.say that NU is the best private research university within a four hour drive that admitted him.
We visited Chicago this summer - before he decided on Engineering - and it wasn’t for him.
He is still on the wait list at Notre Dame and Stanford, so there’s still a very small possibility that he goes elsewhere.
I do agree that MSU feels very friendly and welcoming for such a large university. I doubt there are many schools where the Assistant Director of Admissions helps park cars on a visit weekend for high stats applicants.