My kid chose State U over MIT, Harvard, Yale, and a host of other schools who were calling and emailing and begging for him to come play football. His friends and some of ours are, what’s that word some of you used… oh, yeah… Horrified!
There are SO many things that go into college choice, and I am always fascinated by the CC posters that believe with all their hearts that THIS U is so much better than THAT U, for all kids and all life goals and all purposes. But I could list a hundred different reasons why MSU is far superior to Amherst or Northwestern. Or I could make that list in favor of Amherst or Northwestern. For me, personally, MSU’s list would be more convincing. What a big public U offers is more meaningful - to me - than what a private U offers. And I’ll bet @greeninohio’s kid has just such a list.
Now, those of you who would be horrified, entertain us with a list of all the other things kids do that would “horrify” you if it were your kid! Then I’ll send you my list of things my kids actually DID do! Horrifying, indeed!
Consolation, Im also going to advocate for your position. In order to get into institutions like NU and Amherst, the student was obviously very motivated, both academically and with her extracurriculars. The time that was spent during high school to achieve the goal of getting admitted was considerable. This parent sees other kids who probably were not as driven and focused going to the same school as her kid who busted her butt in high school and probably drove her crazy through the process. Let’s face it, the parents of highly motivated kids are not left out of the equation. They are driving their kids all over the place to their multiple extracurriculars and they are ALWAYS concerned about about the lack of sleep and stress their kids are under to achieve the grades they are attaining. I guess it depends on the state you reside in to adequately address the level of despair that you have with your child’s decision to attend a state school when offered admission to a top tier university. Boola’s “similiar situation” with CAL is simply not similar to the OP. I would be upset too but our state flagship is very good and lots of top students go when they don’t get enough financial aid.
My point, was not that CAL is not a fantastic institution, but rather to illustrate my own personal bias and hidden wants–but that at the end of the day, it my Ds decision to make.
Just to keep all this in perspective, this is probably just the first time you have to be supportive of an important decision that isn’t consistent with your sense of what’s best for your kid. He will someday show up with a life partner - whom I hope you adore, but if not, you learn to look for the positives. He will choose a career (or not) which may not please you and again, you just have to be supportive. He will make important parenting decisions for which you will need to bite your tongue sometimes. There are so many big decisions coming his way over the next decade. View this as practice in learning to be vested in the process but not the end result.
@prospect1, for engineering jobs, there’s likely little difference, but NU engineering students would get more opportunities for jobs in consulting and finance (and likely startups) than MSU engineering students. Hopefully, the OP’s son was aware of that when making his decision. If he was, I can’t begrudge someone deciding how to live his life.
One of my husband’s co-workers went to MSU as an undergrad and LOVED it and still loves the school and goes to as many football games as he can - and he lives in Chicago. He loves it so much he has donated a huge amount of money to the school and he has left money in his estate for them. So it was apparently a heck of a school for him, anyway! He also majored in Engineering there.
He’s talked it up so much we looked into it for D, but it’s huge and she’s adamant - so far - about not going to a huge school. I’ve never heard or read anything bad about the school, though. OP, I’m sure your son will do very well there, especially if he already has a passion for it.
I really do think some kids just feel more comfortable and energized at the big state schools, and it’s true there are a plethora of opportunities… It doesn’t matter how much more “famous” or higher-ranked the smaller schools are, if the kid doesn’t want it, he probably won’t be happy.
Anyway, congrats to your son for getting into his dream school. Sounds like he’s worked hard for it.
This MSU grad ('84 Biochemistry/Physiology), who went on to be a lab tech, computer programmer, and finally Cornell Law grad (JD, '92), with a great practice doing what I love (in Hawaii, to boot) says, there is more than one way to get from where you are to anywhere you want to go.
Also, for engineering, most ABET-accredited programs are probably viewed similarly by employers, and it is more what you do while in school than where you do it, that will matter in the end.
Also, MSU has such a beautiful campus. And it’s so big that there are plenty of options;the two main reasons I went there. Oh, yeah, and the fact that there was no essay to write.
@greeninohio, as I believe I indicated early on, like you, I find the decision to pass on Northwestern more difficult to understand. (And I am not a fan of Northwestern. I’m a U of C type, and so is S. The U of C doesn’t have engineering, so that would obviously be a poor choice for your S.)
@Barfly, as the only person who has used the word horrifying on this thread–let’s be fair to everyone else-- I’ll take you up on that. I’m dismayed that you would encourage/allow your S to play football. H and I–he played football–would have nixed that immediately. (At some point you and your SO/spouse must have either encouraged it or allowed it, when you could have nipped it in the bud. Once it was established it was, of course, out of your hands.) I’m sure you’ll flame me for that, but I think that football should be going the way of boxing and bullfighting: into extinction.
Here’s something that will probably appall YOU, if you are like a substantial number of CC parents: I “let” my very academically-talented S who could have done anything major in French. (I put “let” in quotation marks because I had no say in the matter: it was his decision.) A lot of people here would claim that all he would gain from that was the ability to ask “Would you like fries with that?” in two languages. Then I compounded it by aiding him financially in attending journalism school. What a waste, right?
Sorry, I too would not be happy for my kid to choose MSU - not even the best state school in Michigan - over Amherst or Northwestern, unless there was a financial constraint or a specific MSU-only program. I agree with consolation and MommaJ.
I certainly wouldn’t be willing to pay nearly as much for MSU as for NU or Amherst (I’d pay more for UMich, but, being OOS, he’d have to find a way to graduate in 3 years because I still wouldn’t be willing to pay as much), and I’d want him to put forward a cogent argument for why turning down the opportunities at NU & Amherst makes sense but ultimately, it’s his life.
Is there some sort of Godwin’s Law for College Confidential that states something to the effect that at some point in any long discussion the multi-thousand post ‘experts’ will try to reach some consensus re ranking of schools regardless of the situation/nature/specifics of the original discussion?
Or perhaps that everything has to come down to a hierarchy/ranking?
MSU = free room and board for 4 years, in-state tuition, $11,500 in merit scholarships (in-state tuition is $15,000), $3500 to study abroad, $2500/yr for the first two years as a Professorial Assistant. It’s less than 2 hours away. My cousin is the Associate Director of Res Life and personally introduced us to the Assistant Dean of the Honors College.
Northwestern’s FA package left about $6,000 for us to pay. Amherst left about $5,000. Travel expenses would be higher, of course, and FA would presumably go down if my wife started working more.
His reasoning is that MSU Engineering is good enough and MSU will accept more AP credits and the community college class he took. He will only need 7 semesters’ worth of classes.
I think internship opportunities would be much greater in Chicago and NU’s quarter system would make a minor or second major easier.
He should be able to leverage my cousin’s network to build many relationships at MSU, though.
I’m sure your son will not be wanting for internships. In Chicago, or anywhere. Look, maybe it’s not the decision you or I or other posters would have made, but it was not a bad decision at all. That’s a lot of perks and sure money he has coming his way. Engineering is engineering. He’s obviously bright and hardworking. Sounds like he has an excellent future ahead of him.
A little bit of a different perspective from a recent college graduate –
I went to NYU, a decently competitive university, however this was my father’s decision, not mine. While I feel that I took advantage of what it offered, I imagined my college experience to be different, and I am a bit resentful that it wasn’t what I imagined.
Nevertheless, I was proud to attend such a great institution. I met interesting people and had some great experiences (visiting my international friend in her home country, taking a seminar with an NYU Med professor). I began to think that the university has given me something unique.
I am currently attending medical school, and I do not see any difference between my classmates at NYU and the state school graduates who are with me now. I am embarrassed to recall that I once thought no one here reads the NYT, when in fact, their conversations on space, history, etc. leave me completely in the dust. The people I am discussing did not attend top state schools, although interestingly, they are top of our class.
I’ll join the many who support your son in his decision.
Not at all. D. went to in-state public, had a ball there, got great selection of Med. Schools to attend and just like your S. had to turn down Norhtwestern, but for Med. School, simply because at the end she choose another school. She still thinks that she went to the UG that matched her the best and had experiences there that went well beyond our expectations. She is very grounded person, I am proud of this aspect of her personality, she never chased anything that was somebody else’s dream. She knew how to stand on her own.
Your S., OP, might be just the same type of person!
Congrats on raising a great young man!
It might be that this young man simply feels that the fit at MSU is right for him, and that it is not right for him at NU. If that’s the case, and he will truly be happier at MSU, then he will probably have a better outcome than he would attending a school he was not happy at. We on CC might think that NU is a “better” school, but it’s only the right school if it’s right for the kid in question.
