I am writing a reflection describing my suspension during my Junior year of high school and would like some advice on if what i have written sounds good.
Please respond with any recommended changes:
In October of 2016 of my Junior year, I received a suspension for arriving at a school sponsored event under the influence of alcohol.
I realize that this was a huge mistake that shows immaturity and a lack or good judgement, but it was a mistake that I regret sincerely. What I chose to do went against my parents’ rules, my own values, and certainly against the rules of my school.
I understand the considerable consequences that can result from this type of decision and I used this as an opportunity to better myself through my faith as well as my academics. I transferred to a local Catholic High School where I studied, worked hard, and strived to achieve greatness in my academics as well as in building healthy, lasting relationships with other students and faculty members.
Sounds a little Miss Americaish to me. It’s the superficial facts and a few platitudes. You are trying to sound good, not telling your story in the way that only you can tell it. There’s no deep reflection here.
What really happened? How did you get into that situation? What was your motivation? Were you trying to show off? Trying to act out? Trying to cover your anxiety? What has been the hardest part of choosing a better path for yourself?
It didn’t explain why you did what you did – peer pressure? anger? nerves?
It didn’t explain why it won’t happen again – matured? pay attention to consequences more?
You misspelled “judgment” and agree with replacing “achieve greatness” with “excel” or something else.
My child had to write a similar explanation about a similar incident. She kept it short and sincere (much like your statement) and it worked out fine. I don’t think you need to do a deep dive reflection on your thoughts and feelings about something like this.
I agree it’s a good start- in that the tone is straightforward. But also agree it leaves questions. You can’t blame others, but you could explain both context and the changes.
Because without something more, this leaves me with doubts. That’s the fine line you need to walk: explaining without leaving a big question of what happens at college when there’s peer pressure, anxiety, etc.
Mostly, they’d like more than a statement that you knuckled down at Catholic school. Anything you can show besides grades? You have responsibilities/leadership, a role in peer support, something that shows you’ve grown to better judgment and it’s recognized? That sort of line or two.