I have ASD and have been accepted to a college. I seem pretty normal to most people and I usually do a good job of hiding my symptoms but I am worried that in college it will be harder for me to hide all my symptoms because I don’t have a home where I can just not care about hiding anything. That got me thinking about telling people about my ASD. Specifically my peers. I applied for a single dorm but might get a roommate. So my question is, should I tell people that I have Aspergers in college? If so, how would I tell who I need to inform and who I don’t?
Good that you are even asking that question. My son is ASD and I don’t think it even crosses his mind. My son has some quirky behaviors that I think would be annoying in a roommate. Of course, so do I, but I’d venture to say mine are more “normal” like not being tidy.
I don’t think it is anything you have to hide. Depending on where you are from and where you go, people are very accepting of behavioral diversity. Though they may not have had a friend or family member with Aspergers, it’s likely they have seen Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory, and possibly the new show The Good Doctor, they are a little too old but there is even an autistic muppet on Sesame Street. Even then, ASD kids are like snowflakes, no two present the same way. Your generation is one of the most accepting and kind.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing at the very least to tell your roommate and probably your RA and explain that you might have difficulty with X…and that from time to time, you might need the room to yourself to decompress, and that you would be open to constructive reminders if you are doing something that is not appropriate or is inconsiderate (example, my son doesn’t think to turn off his alarm if he wakes up just before it goes off while he is in the bathroom - I’m trying to help him break that habit - not sure if “your roommate is half way to Res Life” is helpful, but time will tell).
That said, your roommate will likely annoy you as well and the same goes for you. Depending on your level of impairment, you may or may not be able to tactfully express it, and that might be helpful for your roommate to know so he or she doesn’t take it personally.
Lastly, a mismatch happens even amongst neurotypical kids. It isn’t necessarily a failure of either or you if it happens. I only lasted a month and a half with my first roommate and roomed with the second for 3 years until I had a single as a senior. And we’ve been friends ever since, and we both have annoying habits. We just learned to live with them.
Maybe check in with the college’s disability office?
I agree that you should check in with your school’s disability office. Better if they are aware, even if you haven’t needed or used any academic accommodations in the past. Then if you bump into issues on campus or in a class, they are aware and might be able to provide some support.
I would talk to your schools disability office and get yourself registered. You may not want any accommodations to start but some, like preferential housing (single as a freshman) may need that registration. Just knowing that part is handled and services are there if you need them, could be a very reassuring thing.
I have a S19 who does not want accommodations. We’ve discussed the benefit to registering. It doesn’t mean he can’t handle things in his own or that we don’t think he can. It’s like buying insurance. You can, so why not? It provides a net if you need it without delays and paperwork.
To be honest with you, I think that you should disclose it to the RA and the University in order to receive accommodations. However, I would not tell peers at college just because people can be brutal about it sometimes if they did not know someone with ASD growing up. From my experience people treat me much differently once I reveal it to them, usually in a negative way. Best of luck in college!
Hi, FirstGen. I’m sorry to hear that people have been unkind to you. Without disclosing too much, could you tell us whether you attend a large university, LAC and your general geographic area? What kinds of treatment have you encountered?
As someone with Asperger’s (and ADHD, OCD, Depression, and more) I have had to learn a very hard lesson as I started climbing the college and other training programs hill; NOT telling people (at the very least the disabilities office) that I had issues inevitably came back bite me later. Just about every time I refused to come out and tell people either because i wanted to either prove to myself i could do just as well without support, or i was too lazy to set the support up, i wound up in situations that resulted in some rather serious problems, costing me time, money, and resulting in a lot of frustration for everyone all around.
Who you tell its your choice, but to list priorities.
Disabilities office should absolutely know, they are your advocates with the school should you not tell anyone else and something blows up in your life (or face).
Next would be your instructors. Typically testing accommodations happens with the instructor simply being informed from the office that you get the accommodations, they are then required to implement then or get in trouble. Do not back down if you need them, if they refuse you their refusing others. Still the instructors are human beings and most humans never outgrow question all 2 year olds learn…Why? Telling your instructor why your getting accommodations in my experiences makes them much more friendly to you.
The rest is kind of up to you, frankly though if I were stuck with a roommate I would tell them (just like I would ask about what their pet peeves are so we don’t drive each other crazy). Social constructs being what they are, if you have autistic behaviors that are going to come out in close prolonged proximity, people will eventually start to wonder but be too polite to ask. Telling them gives them permission to discuss it with you.