Fellow CCers,
I will keep this short, but I think it is something a lot of us face/have faced, and I am looking for a bit of guidance from an objective viewpoint.
I attend a highly competitive private high school, and feel incredibly lucky to have this experience. Like many of us this forum, I am on the “selective” track, with honors/AP classes, time-consuming ECs, and test prep.
Though I am surrounded by kids who are brilliant, have never perceived myself to be above average intelligence. When I say this, I do not mean it in a self-depricating manner, I simply mean that I have gotten where I am today based on hard work, not being a natural genius.
I have always been hard on myself, but lately, I’ve been feeling very inadequate and frankly, dumb. I work very hard in my non-honors math class, but the kids around me constantly talk about how regular is a joke. In SAT class, I frequently ask questions to try and understand difficult concepts, but the kids around me simply grumble about how easy math is.
I am looking for some words of wisdom on how to avoid this feeling and how to keep things in perspective. I am trying my absolute hardest, but it just doesn’t seem like enough.
I used to feel the same way in an EC. Although I never fully got over it, at some point I realized that it doesn’t matter. You find things that you’re good at and have a good time. Just make sure you don’t let your frustration affect how you interact with others.
Harding working is a very good character and it will lead you to success. A lot of genius level kids got eliminated because they don’t try anymore when everything seems so easy. But bear in mind, there are only certain subjects don’t require a hardworking mentality. I don’t think a very smart kid who slacks would get a really good grade in subject like history or subjects require a lot of research. You already have an amazing trait many kids don’t, at such a young age. I would say you are pretty successful already. Also never compare yourself to others. Only compare and compete with yourself, your old self. One more important thing, we do need all kinds of people in the world to keep it going and you do have a very important role, because you care.
While those kids complain and slack off from “how easy it is,” you will be working hard and improving yourself. Maybe right at this point, they may technically be ahead of you, but as their learning path is a straight line with no improvement, yours sounds like its on an upward trend, constantly learning and bettering yourself. And at the point when you reach them, you’ll be able to use your work ethics to surpass them. I’m not sure how old you are or what math class you’re taking, but different math levels can vary in difficulty. Like some people hate geometry/love algebra, vice versa. What they think is “easy” may turn hard for them in following years. Or maybe they struggle in other subjects. But asking questions and working hard and learning is something you sound like you’ve already mastered, and can take that with you into every class you take.
You sound smart, honestly. The kind of person I’d hire if I was looking for an employee. Don’t compare yourself to them and keep your head up! You should be extremely proud of yourself for the work you put in. (And, if you’re in lower math (like 9-10th grade), maybe I can help you? I’m a senior taking calc and I took an SAT course so I know some cheats on the math section). Anyways, best of luck and good job!!
It’s hard, I know. It’ll continue sucking and continue being difficult as long as you’re in HS, but I promise, for the most part, it will dissipate and eventually go away as you go to a college among peers and go out into the work force. Even the super geniuses who burn bright in HS burn out–or at least dim a bit–later on. You don’t get cookies forever for being Super Smart (especially as you encounter other Super Smart people). Just generally, except for the smarty-pants who stay on the genius track (going for PhDs, etc.) most high fliers even out later on. I can tell you that once you get out into the workforce, depending on your industry… most of the people you work with won’t be former high-fliers, and in fact you may be the most educated among them and find it doesn’t matter. This is the case for me, and sometimes it’s weird–I’m the only person in my company who was a super student, went to the most prestigious school, etc., (my manager didn’t even go to college) and yet in the day to day it so doesn’t matter. It’s kind of nice/relaxing. I don’t have to compete on a daily basis to prove that I’m smart. All that matters is can I perform competently in my job, and how are my inter-personal relationships with my co-workers?
That is to say, you are good enough. You’re not dumb. Not every subject should come easily, IMO, and that you’re working hard to excel & understand I think bodes well for you. You’ll do very well in college because you have critical thinking skills and a good work ethic–that’s what schools are really looking for. Some of your classmates may hit a speed bump in college and bottom out because they can’t deal with “failure.” I saw plenty of kids lose their scholarships because they couldn’t handle the rigor of school once they were there–it’s not as easy to coast through classes as it can be during HS. You actually have to study/spend time on your assignments in college, if the college is worth its salt. Also, once you get past HS, you can drop the subjects that are more of a struggle for you and focus on the things that come more easily for you. No one is going to care how easy (or not easy) math is for you later.
You can also get away from these sorts of people by being selective in your college search–don’t apply to schools you know people like this are going to… look at school culture. There are schools for sharp, brilliant people that aren’t psychotically competitive and have a “learning is fun!” culture. Funnily enough, some of those schools are “easier” to get into (and some, of course are Ivies, but not all). So I would focus on the future, and know that you’ve developed skills that will serve you well in college, and life. No one will care what you did in high school–or what they did in high school!–in 10 years.
Hard work trumps smart eventually. Often students so seem smart do extra work behind the scenes, but they do not admit it.
The trick is that you have to ignore them. You have to keep working at it and asking questions. Believe in yourself! You can do it. Do not stop. Don’t let other discourage you. If you give up, they win. Keep trying and just do your best. That is all anyone can do.