Distance and parents

<p>I really want to at least look into U Chicago. How do I tell my parents that, despite the distance, this place is worth considering?</p>

<p>Whip out the US News and World report ranks :-)</p>

<p>(This is the only circumstance under which I would consider it a valuable resource).</p>

<p>You can also mention that there are a lot of other great schools in the Chicago area that are worth considering.</p>

<p>Where do you (city/state)? We live on the East Coast. UChicago was the only school that my S considered that was not within 3-5 hrs drive. When we realized that it wasn't such a long plane ride and that flights were frequent, we decided that the "practical" distance between another East Coast school and Chicago was minimal. Of course, the cost of flights does add to the incredible tuition bill...</p>

<p>we're on the east coast as well.</p>

<p>how much are tickets from, say, boston or manchester?</p>

<p>nvm, they're about 100 bucks...</p>

<p>toastmaster, where are you from? I always fly into either Boston or Manchester from Chicago (I'm from Dover, NH).</p>

<p>Seacoast Area, NH</p>

<p>Ooh, I had to convince my parents of this too; like rap_mom's S, it was the only school not within (long) driving distance. Like unalove said, show them the quality of education, and if your parents are the sympathetic sort, make sure you really really show them that you're in love with it. My parents didn't realize how much I adored it until I let them proofread my application -- it was only then that they finally accepted that maybe, just maybe, UChicago was the right school for me after all.</p>

<p>However, I also need to say that cost of tuition + flights = way too much for my family to handle. It's basically forced me to change my first choice for practical reasons (although I love this other school too!), so I hope that distance is the only thing that you need to talk to your parents about -- because if it applies, the financial conversation is painfully important when it comes to UChi.</p>

<p>For us, Chicago is an easy flight (or a cheap megabus ride) away. Transportation would have been more of an issue if his school was not in a major city (or a city where a direct flight was not an option). </p>

<p>If your parents have the expection that you will come home more often that term breaks, they may be hoping to see you a bit more often. You could remind them that Chicago is a great town for them to visit ... and that phone calls and email are pretty good forms of communication. When you talk to your folks, try to listen to what they are saying as well as derive what they are not saying.</p>

<p>distance is the main issue, they also keep mentioning things like "well, why not Harvard or MIT here?"</p>

<p>I would give your parents a reality check. Once you go to college anywhere south of Massachusetts, you are going to visit at most in between terms, perhaps also on spring break or long weekend holidays if you are a real softy. You certainly are not going to be around in the summers, since there is not much to do by way of internships in Southern New Hampshire besides scooping ice cream. Consequently, the difference between you attending Chicago or Yale for example should be next to nothing. </p>

<p>Also, if you parents are pushing MIT or Harvard based primarily on proximity, it would seem to imply they expect you to visit monthly or more. Based on my observations of friends who went through this in both college and graduate school, this is an almost uniformly negative experience (the one exception was an evangelical Christian). If you go to an elite institution, and somehow manage to find two or three free days a month in your schedule, you are very unlikely to want to spend that time hanging out at the dinner table and doing yard work. Likewise, things can also turn sour if you are close to your parents and cannot find the time to visit. One of my roommates at Chicago could take the train to his home in Evanston in a little over an hour, but made it our there only about one overnight a month because he was struggling academically his first year. Given his parents were expecting the weekly pop in, things got a little contentious (including a visit by his mother to our dorm at 2 AM). </p>

<p>Finally, I think seeing you parents too frequently in college can really hinder the personal growth experience. My significant other went to school in her parents’ city, and consequently her mother became her emotional crunch whenever something went awry. Later on even her mother admitted that she had not developed the degree of coping skills that someone her age should have had, and hence got hit really hard when she went to graduate school in another country.</p>

<p>If the distance is an issue because they expect to see you all the time, then I'd agree with uchicagoalum. Part of college is living semi-independently, and my general observation has been that people do better the less they try to travel home frequently. It's pretty hard to get engaged with activities, make friends, and adjust to life on campus if you're going home frequently. </p>

<p>If cost of travel is the issue, then (and this is easier said than done) I'd point out that in the big picture, a few extra hundred dollars for flights compared to driving a short distance (which isn't free [accounting for fuel prices and wear-and-tear, anyway from $.40-$.50/mile can be a good estimate for the cost of driving]), isn't that big of a deal. When the schools all cost ~$50,000, then I'd say a good argument can be made that picking the right one is worth the cost of a few airline tickets.</p>

<p>I didn't want my children to go far. We live on the East Coast. However, I learned that a 4-5 hour bus ride turned out to be the equivalent of a 2 hour plane ride when you include time to & from airport. Unless you live 20 minutes away, the likelihood of going home frequently is minimal. Anyway, your parents are struggling with the idea of missing you and letting go. But ultimately, I would hope they would want you to have a life at school and be happy.
The truth is, that in an emergency or just getting sick, your parents would have easier access to you. But to base an entire decision and experience on that is senseless. (I know a family whose first son attended Cornell, had an appendicitis attack, and would not allow the second son to be more than 30 minutes away from home)!</p>

<p>Parents spend 18 years of their lives committed to putting their kids first and making them the center of their lives. It is harder for some to let go. Be kind and gentle but be persistent. Good Luck.</p>

<p>Keep in mind, too, that Southwest flies out of Midway airport. This has two advantages: affordable tickets, and a easy trip to the airport. Cab to midway costs about $15-20, compared to $60+ for Ohare. You can also take a bus to/from Midway easily, if slowly. While you can take the subway to/from Ohare, you would need to do two connections/changes to do so. </p>

<p>When we lived in the Boston area, we found affordable tickets to get D home for Thanksgiving and breaks. We drove out for the start and end of the school years.</p>

<p>I have lots of friends whose kids go to Penn. That tends to be about a 20-minute, $4 commuter train ride from their homes, and about a 20-block walk (or 5-minute subway ride) from their parents offices. While some of these kids visit home every few weeks, or have lunch or dinner with a parent or two on occasion, in many, many cases the parents see the kids on holidays and (sometimes) during vacations. Sure, they're close if an emergency comes up, but as a practical matter they don't see their kids any more often than I do.</p>

<p>Aha, I printed out a lot of information about the place, and they said they'd take me to visit at some point!</p>