Ugggh! Huge disagreement with family over college search!

College Search & Selection
1

<p>Like most (rising) high school seniors, I have been devoting huge amounts of time to The College Search. Occasionally, I find a school that I immediately identify with. The school's philosophy, campus, students, academics, and overall atmosphere seem to be a perfect match for me. One school that I have been nursing a crush on for quite awhile is the University of Chicago. I simply have this feeling that it is the PERFECT school for me. The combination of amazing science/research opportunities with a quirky, creative personality has made me fall in love with this university. But, I'd been tentative to mention this to my parents, who don't want me going to an urban school or leaving New England. Finally, I decided that I couldn't wait any longer and wanted to visit the campus. And... my parents reacted the way that I predicted, if not more violently. My mother even accused me of feigning an interest in UChicago "to hurt her."</p>

<p>So, now I have two questions...</p>

<p>1.) I really, really, REALLY love UChicago. Is there any way that I could show my parents how much attending it means to me... or at least just persuade them to go visit the campus with me?
2.) Seeing as my parents will be paying the majority of the tuition, and I DO want my future college to be a match for them as well, applying to UChicago just might not be an option. Can you think of any other schools with similar campuses, student bodies, and academic philosophies within New England/the northeast? I'm not looking for UChicago's twin... just a different option that I might grow to love as much as UChicago.</p>

2

<p>Perhaps you could show your mother UChicago's website, what Princeton Review says about it, etc. And also tell her specifically what programs or whatever you're interested in. Try to do it all in a mature, rational way, showing that you really do want to go. And stress that you don't want to hurt her, but you think that this could be a good option.</p>

<p>Hope that helps. Best of luck :]</p>

3

<p>As an east coaster, I too had problems leaving for Chicago (also my dream school), but eventually my mom and dad realized that Chicago was the best school in the country for me.</p>

<p>Anyway, here are a few schools (non-urban, New England) that are worth consideration if you like Chicago so much. In no particular order:</p>

<p>--Dartmouth
-- Bates
-- Bowdoin
-- Colby
-- Hampshire
-- Amherst
-- Williams
-- Clark
-- Marlboro
-- Tufts (urban kinda...)
-- Skidmore (upstate NY, near ish MA)
-- UMass-Amherst
-- Thomas More College for the Liberal Arts
-- Cornell (northwest NY)
-- Middlebury
-- Colgate (NY)
-- Hamilton (NY)
-- Vassar (NY)
-- Bard (NY)
-- Brown (not really urban?)</p>

<p>These schools are really all over the place, but I listed a lot for a reason. If I were you, I would do a spreadsheet with all of these schools (and more, based on schools you know and other schools posters suggest) and track criteria that are important to you side by side. What are their Princeton Review/ Students Review/ ******* Rankings? SAT midrange? Ranked programs? Undergraduate size? Not only will doing this help you show your parents why Chicago is right for you, but it will show them that you've heavily considered other options. Plus, it will help you too in opening up your list a little bit.</p>

4

<p>Columbia? Its still urban but similar to Chicago. Otherwise Brown is quirky/ creative and a great school in the northeast.</p>

5

<p>If you're female (and open to the idea), it might be worth it to look into women's colleges, like Mount Holyoke, Smith, or Barnard. Also, Sarah Lawrence or Vassar might be matches for you (those are co-ed). Otherwise, I agree pretty much with unalove's list.</p>

6

<p>Well, the first thing I'd want to know is your stats. Chicago is a school many smart kids with lesser stats get into when they don't make it to ivies or top LACs, and I've seen 2 friends parents come to love Chicago when it was by far the best school they got into.</p>

<p>If you're a resident of the Northeast your chances are harder at schools there. Perhaps your parents will come to love Chicago if your not a val with a string of 800s.</p>

7

<p>Collegekid-- Chicago's admissions practices may seem somewhat deviant from what seem to be the Ivy standard, but if you look at the admitted SAT midrange for Chicago and other top schools, you'll see that by SAT scores, class rank, and other "numbers" factors, Chicago kids fit right in with the other elites, suggesting that the students at Chicago are just as strong performers as anywhere else.</p>

<p>Chicago is easily a loveable school, but it's a terrible consolation prize for a student whose only qualification in a school is that it be highly ranked.</p>

<p>OP likes Chicago by fit, but it sounds as if his parents will come up with many elite alternative to Chicago (from the way his parents are talking, it sounds like they'll be pushing for Amherst, Williams, and Dartmouth in terms of reaches).</p>

<p>OP is in luck, though, as New England has great colleges all over, and many of them compare in favorable ways to Chicago. I can start a grouping of my own list, even:</p>

<p>Schools that are similar to Chicago in undergraduate size:
Tufts
Dartmouth</p>

<p>Schools that are similar to Chicago is academic intensity:
Dartmouth
Amherst
Williams
Cornell
Vassar</p>

<p>Schools that are similar to Chicago in intellectuality/quirkiness/nonstandard curriculum:
Clark
Hampshire
Marlboro
Bard
Vassar
Brown
Thomas More (this school has 80 students four majors, and a defined curriculum. It's so cool!)</p>

<p>Schools that are just "there" but have smart, engaged students:
Bates
Bowdoin
Colby
Colgate
Middlebury
Hamilton</p>

<p>UMass-Amherst would be a safety for somebody who is in the range of acceptance for Chicago, but it's in a great, collegiate neighborhood, plus is a member of the Five College Consortium. Amherst and Southampton are terrific college towns, and sort of like Hyde Park with all the coffee shops, but minus the city and minus a lot of the crime.</p>

8

<p>I actually had another "discussion" with my parents about Chicago today. I learned that my father's biggest problem with Chicago is that he thinks that I would be "settling" if I were to apply there. What he doesn't realize is that I would be extremely lucky to attend Chicago... He cares more about the "name" and prestige than fit and actual quality of the school. Just another wonderful development in my life... ha, ha =P</p>

<p>On a more positive note, I do love Vassar, Tufts, Brown, and Hamilton, and think that I'd be happy going there. I honestly felt that UChicago was the college-form of me, though (and, yes, I do realize that that sounds stupid!!!). Most importantly, though, thanks for all your advice. CCers like you guys have helped me more than my guidance counselor =D</p>

9

<p>swarthmore, look into swarthmore.</p>

<p>and columbia</p>

10

<p>Hard to offer advice without knowing more about what your parents value, but here are a few ideas</p>

<p>First, your parents need to get to a place in their thinking where they accept that YOU are the one going to college. It is fine if your first choice is not their first choice. This is a grown up decision for a young adult. At some point, they have to learn to trust your judgment- after all, once you get to college, you will be on your own.</p>

<p>Second, "Settling"? For Chicago? Is he kidding? It has a fantastic name. If that is really the issue, then reviewing the faculty and the accomplishments of the student body may solve his problem. I hate to recommend USNEWS for anything, but show him the peer assessment for this college. That is what a group of academics think. It is right up there. Then refer to point 1, it is your decision.</p>

<p>Third, they may simply be afraid of losing touch with you too much when you go farther away. As a parent, I can certainly sympathize, but again, this is part of growing up.</p>

<p>Good luck</p>

11

<p>Nah, we have better than peer assessment.</p>

<p>--If he's worried about famous faculty, tell him that Steven Levitt, co-author of bestseller "Freakonomics" teaches econ to undergrads. If you have access to Lexis Nexis or Proquest or another sort of online news archive, type in "University of Chicago" and see who and what comes up.</p>

<p>--This year, out of the 50 students chosen to be Truman Scholars (30,000 dollars from Congress towards graduate study), 3 were undergrads at Chicago, more than any other school this year. (For reference, Stanford had 2 scholars, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Darmouth, Columbia, Brown, and Duke all had 1 scholar, and Penn and Cornell had no scholars. Also consider that Chicago's undergrad population is smaller than all of these schools, besides Dartmouth!)</p>

<p>-- The campus is home to the largest academic press and largest academic bookstore in the country.</p>

<p>-- 11 of Chicago's faculty members were nominated to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences this year, the third most of any institution in the country. (Harvard had 14; MIT 12). Stanford and Yale both had 8, Princeton and Cornell 5, Columbia and Brown 3, Penn 2, Dartmouth and Duke 1.</p>

<p>Find other little nuggets just like these:
<a href="http://www-news.uchicago.edu/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www-news.uchicago.edu/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Keep in mind that these are NOT my arguments for why Chicago is superior to other schools (I don't want to open a can of worms here!) but rather, they would be part of my argument for anybody who thought that Chicago was some sort of compromise for a "better" or "more prestigious" school. These awards, if anything, show that Chicago IS that "prestigious school," and that it has earned its spot in the major leagues.</p>

12

<p>With all due respect to your parents, their comment regarding UChicago is ill-informed. While it could be argued that there are other colleges comparable academically, no school in the country offers a higher quality education. "Settling" – sorry, but ridiculous. I think you need to have a talk with your HS counselor and have him/her have an tete a tete with your parents.</p>

<p>I would agree with you that in New England Brown and Vassar (Tufts, though less so) would be good overlaps. Surprised you mention Hamilton - don't really see it. Wesleyan, not mentioned, comes to mind as well. If you can venture "down south," agree that Swarthmore has a very similar culture and would strongly recommend considering. Columbia is a well-known cross-apply with Chicago. I don't really understand the listing of many of the other schools by posters above - Dartmouth, Colgate, …. I agree there are some similarities but certainly many more differences in their profiles.</p>

13

<p>unalove: Uchicago is actually ranked very high...usually above both brown and cornell in rankings and around where columbia is</p>

14

<p>Thanks to everyone for their advice! Using your suggestions, I managed to convince my mom to look at the UChicago site... and she now loves it as well! My uninformed/prestige-obsessed father might need more convincing... but at least my mother has committed to a college visit!!!
And, thanks to you guys, I now have a long list of other schools to fall in love with, too! =)</p>

15

<p>I'm glad that at least one of your parents is becoming more open-minded. I find it especially curious that your father doesn't find Chicago especially prestigious, especially since the Chicago Economics department would make any listing of the most prestigious academic departments in the world. That's on top of all the other fantastic and highly regarded departments that Chicago has to offer.</p>