<p>2collegewego – I think as long as parents have joint custody, many states will give in state rate to child, even if he doesnt live with parent.</p>
<p>And yes, OP’s H should see a lawyer and first find out what he must do, and then he must decide what he will do, and then how best to do it.</p>
<p>Most divorce/separation agreements have end-by dates on child support. Firmly abide by that date; stick like glue. FAFSA is based on custodial parent income. Without child support that income drops like a rock, making the child much more eligible for financial aid in coming years. Child support makes financial aid tougher to get.</p>
<p>For your own emotional well being, do not engage with the other parent. Ask the child to send you a copy of the school bill and pay half to the child or preferably to the college. Do not discuss negotiate, meet with, or engage with the other parent. Don’t let college turn into custody battle 643. </p>
<p>As for the other 1/2 - let other parent and child work that out - stay out of the middle. You will be surprised how will it will all work out if you don’t let someone elses strangeness be the wind in your sails.</p>
<p>Student is getting the instate rate due to a scholarship he received from the school to encourage out of state students to live on campus and not in the local apts. Even without that scholarship and reduction in rate, he would qualify for instate tuition because of his dad’s residency.</p>
<p>Toadstool, there are a number of states that can order college payments, even if not in divorce decree. Children of divorce are less likely than children in intact marriages to attend and graduate college. My own little school disctrict foundation helps with kids who need money for college applicatiosn, etc. Disproportionately children of divorce. Statistically, women earn less than men. So the 50/50 you mention may be lala land. And we all pay the cost to help out chldren of divorce. Many people dont want to pay for their kids college. Being divorced shouldnt be a reason to arbitrarily limit helping child.</p>
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<p>Here is the “trade-off.” I am assuming that the S is starting college in Aug/Sept of 2009. If there is no legally binding commitment to the college to pay for the on campus living, it looks like the S has a decision to make. </p>
<p>S can live with Dad freshman year (Mom gets her child support $$ through the day S turns 19), or S can take on debt with Mom’s assurance she will pitch-in later. </p>
<p>BTW–2 things come to mind. At the end of court enforced child support, ALL INVOLVED have to come to grips with changes. That includes the child. And, one change is that the previous custodial parent loses the child support money even if the expenses don’t go down the same amount. </p>
<p>My experience is that the now young adult child can and usually does have a feeling for what is “reasonable” conduct by the parents in regard to college commitments. Also, the young adult has a pretty good idea who is stable and dependable and who isn’t.</p>
<p>As I understand it, Dad is obligated to pay the child support AMOUNT till S turns 19 and is willing to also pay half the tuition. The issue is whether the child support amount stays with Mom freshman year or is used to pay the college. Mom says she keeps the child support.</p>
<p>If the S understands the options, he has some near adult level control over 2 choices (live with Dad freshman year, or take on debt) and Mom has adult control over 2 choices (have the child support amount used for S’s room and board, or have the S live with Dad freshman year).</p>
<p>If I am correct, this is only an issue freshman year, right? Dad has committed to fund the same amount as child support (which pays 100% of room and board) the following years PLUS 1/2 tuition, right? So, Dad is willing to go more than 50/50 for soph-senior years.</p>
<p>I am an attorney. We got divorced when our S was 1-1/2. We had no agreements (it was a litigated divorce). We never went back to court in all those years. We are splitting the COA of college 50-50. </p>
<p>SPENDING MONEY ON LITIGATING IS A LOSING PROPOSITION. I also think once Dad has decided his “bottom line” everyone should stay out of it and let Son and Mom make their choices.</p>
<p>Yes, spending money on litigation is a losing proposition when one parent makes more than the other, but is paying 50/50. 50/50 is not necessarily fair. 07 DAD, possibly your exwife is concerned re cost of litigating against you – a lawyer. But please, go convince more future step moms that 50/50 is fair without any knowledge of the facts. Its particularly infuriating to me when it is not even dad, but Dads SO who wants support in telling Dad 50/50 or less. </p>
<p>To people who say 50/50 is fair, then I would suggest you are not in favor of any need based aid --everyone should pay the same. </p>
<p>OPs future husband should consult an attorney and tell him/her all facts and listen.</p>
<p>Regardless of the next step, OP’s future husband needs to know exactly what he is legally obligated to pay. What he wants to throw in on top is up to him and up to discussion. I don’t think the issue is at the litagation stage, and hopefully it does not get there. Sometimes the issue is that there are vaguely termed agreements, that need to be discussed. Half the cost is fine, but who determines what the cost is?</p>
<p>I agree captain, seeing an attorney is not necessarily starting litigation, and the first step is find out parameters. </p>
<p>Why do you say 50% is fine? I don’t see how any one can say that without knowing income numbers. Many people don’t want to pay. Or say they can only afford x.</p>
<p>Should have said half the cost CAN be fine. You are right. My close friend ran into a bad situation with the half cost agreement. When the time came, he defined half the cost to be the minimum tuition available and for living at home.</p>
<p>Cpt, I even beg to differ re 50% of whatever cost – Who makes up this 50%? If one parent makes double the other, is that fair? I think not.</p>
<p>I agree, Kayf. The bottom line is what really makes the difference. When these agreements are written, they are often not dollar specific. You don’t know how much who is going to be making and who is going to be remarried. Nor do you know the choices that will present itself and special situations. Also some states will not enforce these things once a kid is over a certain age. I have seen a lot of trouble with these agreements or more aptly said, disagreements.</p>
<p>It’s time to modify the original child support document. There are online child support calculators you can use to figure out if going to court is worth it.
Where the student is living at school and neither parent has primary physical custody and both parents have similar incomes, child support should drop considerably.
Realize that any payments made outside of the agreement do not offset the currently ordered child support and that a modification is necessary to change it. An agreement between the parents does not impact that court order, and the obligation keeps running.
In California, most courthouses have self-help family law centers, with forms and some staff available to answer procedural questions.</p>
<p>Silicon Valleymom – the online caculators do not work well for those states than can require college tuition and/or high incomes. Maybe OK in CA. </p>
<p>Having gone through a divorce, I think the answer should be more along the lines as follows:</p>
<p>A = Moms average income over last 3 years, in excess of 50,000 but less than 100,000</p>
<p>B = Moms average income, over last 3 years, in excess of 100,000</p>
<p>C = Dads average income over last 3 years, in excess of 50,000, but less than 100,000</p>
<p>D = Dads average income, over last 3 years in excess of 100,000</p>
<p>IF BOTH B,D >0 or BOTH B,D < 0 , then moms shares = B/(B+D), Dads D/(B+D); or in the latter case, moms is A/A+C and dads is C/A+C.</p>
<p>IF D=0 and B>0, then moms share = (B+((1-C/D)*D)/(A+B+C+D) - (see I am not being sexist); similar as to Dad, some people my want to change my break points.</p>
<p>I would also define at what point parents help to tune of </p>
<ol>
<li> CC</li>
<li> In state public</li>
<li> anywhere</li>
</ol>
<p>based on inflation adjusted parameters.</p>
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<p>LOL–my Ex fears nothing. Besides, we decided that after each paying attorneys for the “fun” of a litigated divorce, perhaps growing up and working to co-parent was a better idea. Unlike some, we worked past our hostility and did what was appropriate for our S. </p>
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<p>In regard to college, only approximately 25% of HS senior have a degree from a 4 year institution within 7 years of graduating from HS. College isn’t a birthright. Nor is having your parents pay for college the majority rule in state’s domestic relations law. Here on CC a few months ago in response to another similar post I found the fact that less than 1/3 of the states have any provisions for post-HS support. [Child</a> Support - Child Support And College Tuition](<a href=“http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/childsupportresources/a/childsupportcol.htm]Child”>Divorce Support and Advice)</p>
<p>My parents didn’t pay for all my college although they had the assets and income. In fact, the kids of the working middle class who I know who are in their early 30s paid for almost all of their own college.</p>
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<p>OP is stating that Dad agreed to fund ALL the room and board and 1/2 the tuition. That is greater than 50/50.</p>
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<p>kayf is correct GO GET A COLORADO ATTORNEY. Dad may be in for a very pleasant surprise! </p>
<p>And, OP/Dad/Mom might want to simply read art. 14-10-115 of the Colo. statutes. </p>
<p>Can one parent even get child support and a post-secondary education support order at the same time??? What if the answer is NO?</p>
<p>Interesting reading considering that the stick point is room and board. Anyone see where the post-secondary support order can include “room and board”? What if room and board is not an included item in post-secondary education support order?</p>
<p>Wow–who gets support from whom, if S lives with Dad in college? What if Dad was entitled to get reimbursement from Mom? </p>
<p>What is “reasonable” under these circumstances may surprise you!</p>
<p>kayf, I agree completely that onine calculators should be not relied on, but they can be a useful device where the circumstances are changing for understanding the likely impact.
Colorado has online calculators available through the family court website that apply the Colorado child support guidelines.</p>
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<p>Kayf, why do you keep implying that Dad is being a deadbeat, when Mom is the one who’s saying she won’t pay anything?</p>
<p>I think some of these complex formulas would send the parties running. Most divorce agreements that I know about are not so exactly written about who pays how much or what percentage for college. In some states they are not even enforceable. In some states there are laws that override any agreement parties make. Then you have fAFSA and PROFILE who don’t give a ding what the agreements are.</p>
<p>We are only hearing one side here. Most women end up worse financially than men after divorce. As to my parents didnt pay for me – well today, many do. Children of intact families are more likely to get help than children of divorce. I dont think that is fair. We dont know what OPs future husband earns.</p>
<p>Cpt of the house – I am not certain you are correct re unenforceable – I think what you may mean is that when divorce/custody agreement doesnt cover, court cant order. </p>
<p>07Dad – so if dad makes gazillions, ok by you he should only pay 1/2?</p>
<p>Wow, before everyone digs into their own emotional bag of past issues mom’s share this year if she went by what she agreed to is $2100. We’re not talking wealthy parents, ivy league educations, or the trust fund that hasn’t been tapped into. We’d rather pay that ourselves than pay more to an attorney. We just don’t want him borrowing more money than he needs and having loan money disappear with the intent his mom will pay it back for him years later.</p>