<p>houstonmom1 - yes, call the FA offices, nobody here can tell you what their responses will be. But please do come back and let us know what they said.</p>
<p>I see a reference to a ‘tumor’ in your post above. I hope your daughter is doing better.</p>
<p>You mentioned Rice gave aid. Is this a FA package you can live with?</p>
<p>Rice was good, gave her a merit based $60,000 to divide among all 4 years. Costs are 50,000 plus/year, so we are still in the red, she is left with 35,000 to pay.
The problem is that I don’t know how to handle the debt, how much can I borrow without compromising her sister’s college chances (now a freshman) and my future! My only now is home mortgage, and credit score is in the 700’s, good because life taught me to be very conservative in my spending…
Any idea of what percentage of income, or how it is that I can calculate realistic max contribution? I think if I ask the lenders they will over-estimate… FAFSA said $7,800/year (if their number equals dollars), which, if I could cover in part with Stafford loan payable in small amounts after graduation, would be OK. But that is far from the $35,000 that Rice expects.
UT’s numbers were lower, she went into an honors program with a small aid (don’t have the letter with me, grant? scholarshp?) my contribution would be 18,000, no boarding. Still don’t make it. UT’s boarding is off campus, and more expensive, for what I’ve heard.</p>
<p>You have been all great. I will be taking off 1/2 day and calling Monday early PM.
ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO APPROACH THEM?
I GOT THAT I HAVE TO ASK FOR THE DIRECTOR, NOT A COUNSELOR. THEN WHAT?</p>
<p>Write out what you are going to say so you don’t get flustered on the phone.</p>
<p>Tell them how your husband left you – selling the house, clearing the bank accounts. You need to get across that this was not merely a divorce, but an “abandonment”. </p>
<p>You will be asking each college to waive the noncustodial parent contribution because of the particular circumstances in your case. It is going to be tough because he did pay child support and apparently has cooperated in providing documentation of income – so I would say the odds are against you. </p>
<p>But you can’t know what they will say without asking. So you are just going to have to resolve to be strong and make your case as best as possible.</p>
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<p>Don’t feel bad - none of this stuff is intuitive and certainly no one is born knowing it! You can see from the threads that most people didn’t expect it to work the way it does. I fell into it backwards when D & I started looking at colleges right before junior year. I almost had a panic attack when we saw the costs and realized I probably had saved enough for only one year (my D is starting a 6 year program)! As a single mom, I knew I had to figure out the FA thing before application time and discovered CC, my state’s higher ed site, and finaid.org - all of which I strongly recommend to others! School counselors here are good at keeping kids and paperwork on track for applications, handing out local scholarship info, and that’s about it. The only ones that seem to understand FA at all are those who have a child attending college!</p>
<p>Merit aid is sometimes offered to transfer students, but it depends on the university. You’ll definitely want to check that out with UT or one of the Profile schools if that’s where she wants to go (and you can get a waiver to take the father’s income out of the picture). </p>
<p>An EFC of $7800 isn’t high, any chance of state aid to take up some of that $18,000? Or did her award already include that? If you still have outstanding medical bills, you might ask for a review and adjustment of the EFC. Also, if child support was reported on your FAFSA for 09-10 but is not ongoing, that can be considered for an adjustment as well. The FA office at the school has the ability to change your EFC, within certain guidelines, upon review of the documented facts. This is done at their discretion.</p>
<p>On the loan side, you should also know that PLUS loans will carry a higher interest rate (8.5% fixed) than you might be able to get from your bank or other lender as you have an excellent credit score. However, with PLUS, you can defer payments until after your student graduates and consolidate them later. I’m not sure if that option is available on most private loans.</p>
<p>One final thought, pick up a copy of the book “Paying for College without Going Broke” - it’s updated every year and should be available at amazon or b&n. Full of very useful info on maximizing FA. Good luck!</p>
<p>Okay, another final thought, a gap year is a really good thing for so many reasons (though it sounds like a defeatist attitude initially, I know). If she would be willing to ask her top choice school for a deferral for one year, she could take advantage of Americorps $4700 college fund and/or do other paid work either at home or abroad while still preserving her acceptance (and scholarships). She might even find an entry level support position in something related to her intended field of study. It’s something to consider that alot of gap year kids mature so much in that time that it makes college more meaningful than ever.</p>
<p>I really feel for you and your D- we have a very similar situation. My D chose to major in Vocal Performance so most of her schools only required the FAFSA, but one school asked for proof that her father was out of her life.D’s Guidance Counselor called college to see what kind of “proof” they considered acceptable.A good friend of mine is a Pastor/College Prof so she just wrote a note on school letterhead stating that “— has had no contact with her father for the past “x” years”. One school would have been completely free for her because her stepmother works there, but my D called the FA Director and explained the circumstances and he told her that “they would deal with it, if and when she decided to attend that school”. She ultimately chose another school anyway.
The FAFSA only considers the income of the custodial parent, although there is a place to list Child Support. Many, many states require Child Support to be paid as long as the “child” is on college and even through graduate school if the student files the proper forms in a timely manner.
I am assuming that your “ex” did, indeed, fill out paperwork? I don’t even want to ask why he’d do something like that and then refuse to contribute, but, then again, I can’t figure out what drives these guys anyway. My D’s father has had nothing whatsoever to do with her for years, but, when he did the mental calculations and figured out that she was a senior, he then sent her an e-mail telling her that “(he) would see to it that (I) was prosecuted for not telling the schools about his and his wife’s income, and that (he) was sure that all of her finacial aid would be ‘pulled’ when the school found out about ‘my lie’!”. He can make threats but can’t take the time to look up anything about a FAFSA, because he is never wrong! Grrrrr!
It’s really such a shame that our girls have to go through this kind of strain when they are such good kids and outstanding students. They will do just fine, but the real “losers” in all of this is their “fathers”, who felt so free to be able to walk away from responsibility and parenthood.</p>
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<p>Oh I am VERY confused. This mom (it’s a mom) says the kid’s father is out of the picture…but the “stepmother” works at a school where the kid could get free tuition? Is the stepmother the dad’s wife (that is usually what a step mother is)? If so…how is it that the dad is out of the picture but the step mother isn’t.</p>
<p>Can she commute to Rice? Can she work this summer and during the school year? That and borrowing $5500 from Stafford loans and then the $2500 college tax credit would bring down the cost. She would have to bag her lunch and go on an austerity regiment. But it can be done. How much would UT be with room and board?</p>
<p>Total cost for UT is about $25K a year with room, board, books, transportation estimated. That is on the high end of their estimates. How much did they give your D? Any grants at all? Did she get any Pell money?</p>
<p>Very tired by now…
Today we had another big envelope. She also got in a program in RISD, one of 13 accepted. We want to celebrate, but the numbers get on the way. They were generous in offers, but we still have 20,000 and traveling+higher cost of life up there…
Mezzo’sMama, thanks for sharing, and yes, it can be done despite the yuck, one needs to raise above the small stuff or will be buried by it…
cptofthehouse, You are so helpful! I need to contact Rice and see if we can work ut something better, I agree that it is the best choice. D wants to do it herself, not sure this is good, she is very spontaneous and direct, but not practical, and has not spent the many hours of reading (and posting) that I had. But we did talk a lot about options such as gap year, and we are going to try to go now, if nothing works, so be it. But we will try. Read the posting on increasing financial aid, [April 4]“The Department of Education has issued an advisory to college financial aid officers around the country urging them to give more help to students from families suffering from the recession.”</p>
<p>Right about UT (I didn’t have the letter with me before)
UT did offer scholarship= 3,000/yr (not saying if renewable/ conditions/etc), top 10%= 2,000 (one time), and two staffords. Amount for family to meet according to them= 11,600 Yet, we can’t make it. fafsa indicated 6,800 as EFC (correction of previous larger numbers, which I had estimated because I didn’t have the paperwork when I first posted)
UT doesn’t estimate transportation, and neither had I with all colleges. Gosh, what else am I missing, bills? cell? insurances?
Do we need to take both Stfd loans? heard that subsidized was better. Are stafford better than a bank loan, and is either easy to get nowadays? D is concerned that some friends are having trouble. When do I need to start contacting about loans, before or after confirming w/ university?
OK, tax credit? Didn’t think of that. So, I would get it for paying tuition, or just because my child attends college, or because I am the custodial parent? That is helpful since we lost the 1,000 child tax credit when she turned 18…
Well, off to bed now, thanks for sharing your experience. I only wished I had found this site when I started researching on college, two yrs ago…</p>
<p>the 2500 tax credit will be on 2009 and 2010 income tax returns for money paid for tuition, fees, books and even a computer. You need to spend 4000 to get the full 2500 tax credit. (2000 for the first 2000 in expenses and then 25% of the next 2000 for a max credit of 2500)</p>
<p>Your EFC isn’t very high and I’m surprised she got no state aid - many states use a higher qualifying number than the federal programs. Did she submit the state aid application to UT? Also, does Texas offer any resident college loan programs that she could take advantage of?</p>
<p>I’d probably have D take the full $5,500 in Staffords. Do an on-campus job, maybe at an eatery that would give her a meal for working that shift (very common).</p>
<p>There are several federal tax credits and deductions available. See IRS Pub. 970 for details (and search for posts by swimcatsmom on this forum - she’s put out alot of clarifying info on these). You might also see if TX offers any tax benefits as well. In general, you get them for paying certain “qualifying expenses” like tuition, fees, books, computer - not room and board though.</p>
<p>According to what I have been reading, colleges have been told to give more leeway this year in defining financial aid. That may be to your advantage in talking to the colleges.</p>
<p>My son is also a cancer survivor. He got an outside scholarship of $2500 that was for such kids. He was not eligible for a number of other such scholarships because he was too young when he went through his ordeal. He also applied to nearly 100 outside scholarships to just get the one. That’s what it takes and sometimes you still get nothing. Go to ACOR.com and look at the site for cancer survivor scholarships. Also Fastweb was a resource we heavily used along with every local scholarship we could find.</p>
<p>Kinda sad. And I am sure there will be more later…
D decided to approach her dad, who said he will pay, that is, TUITION, not room and board. And with all that we have behind, she decided to believe (and risk) and go for it. He will not put it in writing. He has limits and conditions. Haven’t heard the end of the story yet…
I think she threw the towel, tired of the heap of work behind and ahead. And she hopes, she needs for him to do the correct thing. Once.
I am afraid. I am afraid for her dreams to just start coming down maybe in August when the check never shows up, maybe one semester before graduation (we have been there before) and she will have to start stressing again, now what?
I did my part, YOU all did your part. Thanks for all the advise, my hope is that still there is a chance she turns around and choses to be safe and on her own as opposed to be vulnerable for 3/4 more years… And now, I am concerned about how, with him having access to her college account and stuff, could that affect me/us. So much for the lack of involvement that we mentoned ealier, and the counselor’s letter, this changes all.</p>