<p>This thread has been very helpful to me. My brother is going through a divorce and has 2 kids that will be college ready in a few years. I called him after reading many of the helpful responses to the OP to make sure he had this issue addresssed in his settlement. He had not thought of it so will make sure it is addressed in their final settlement so there are no misunderstandings that could impact their kids.</p>
<p>The student should be encouraged to apply to more schools quickly, where the expected cost of attendance will be lower. There is a narrow time window where this can still be done. Because of the uncertainty regarding being able to afford the school, I don’t think this would violate the ED agreement.</p>
<p>This allows a few months breathing room for everyone to try to come to an agreement about what school to attend. If no agreement can be made and the student does attend the ED school, it would make sense for the Dad to contribute half of what the costs would be at the less expensive school. I’m not a lawyer, but I think if the exWife sued the Dad for the rest of the money, he would have a pretty compelling argument that he had met the spirit of the terms of the divorce agreement.</p>
<p>If you are unable to get to student to apply to more schools, I would suggest that the Dad contribute half the cost of the instate public flagship U.</p>
<p>Bobby…also have your brother address car insurance. Put a cap on the type of vehicle. You can imagine a case where Dad is ordered to pay 1/2 of insurance, mom remarries rich dude, rich dude gifts expensive sports car to child, insurance sky high and dad gets half. The cost of a 2004 Volkswagon Beetle sure is different than a 2010 Corvette.</p>
<p>My boss was divorced when his kids were in middle school. Since he’s a lawyer, he was very particular about this issue. he actually has in his agreement (I’ve seen it) the provision that he will pay for the entirety of his kids’ college and graduate school with no contribution from the mother as long as (a) they all agree to the choice of school, and (b) he gets to take the sons on a road trip on spring break of junior year by himself outside of the normal custody arrangement. The spouses hate each other and fight constantly, but they are both happy with this plan and have both contributed to the list of colleges to be visited. The ex even said that the dad is particularly good at this stuff.</p>
<p>collegeshopping, yes, agreements can be modified and I keep asking what the attorney has said BUT I am not sure the dad’s side would have been eligible for financial aid. If just the dad’s and stepmom’s income provides an online EFC of as much as $22K, they do not sound eligible for need-based aid outside of loans. I understand that you’re saying that the mom’s circumstance changed and that has negatively affected the father-- but I don’t think the court will find it reasonable to decrease the father’s contribution by saying that the mother’s previous lack of income (even assuming she would have had an income low enough to trigger aid) would have benefitted the father past his 50%. (In other words, if the mom had a low enough income to need aid but signed an agreement that she would pay half, I’m not sure the court would say that the dad should be the beneficiary of the mom’s now being able to pay her half more easily if he is able to pay half anyway.</p>
<p>zoosermom, yes, that’s the max a court can order (and, in most states, ncp parents will not be ordered to pay college tuition) but this is an agreement (a contract) that the parents both signed (neither of whom is a ncp, by the way). The court would just be enforcing the agreement. </p>
<p>thumper, OP has said child lives half and half with parents.</p>
<p>OP, again, I think you need to consult the attorney. From my perspective, it sounds like you and dh may very well be liable for half of something (is that tuition? billable expenses? estimated costs?).</p>
<p>I can’t imagine that at the very least the student wouldn’t be required to accept all financial aid before the cost was split. I would think that he would have to accept all scholarships/grants and loans awarded to him as part of his college’s package. Were I the father, that’s the figure I would be looking at. And I have the greatest sympathy for the dad and stepmom. It’s hard, scary and shocking to be looking at this amount of money, and the mom should be kicked in the butt if she really did allow the ED app over the father’s objections, but now the situation is what it is and the son mst be educated.</p>
<p>The cost here is a rounding error for the ex wife and her husband. They are not going to let this kid go to a state school.</p>
<p>I agree she is sticking it to Caroline and her husband. I also think Caroline and her DH will win if they take this to court. Since no language of what type of college exists, both parents should have had a say in determining this at the relevant time. The mother was told at the start of the process that they could not afford half of a private. She chose anyway to sign the ED agreement.</p>
<p>Further, the assets of the mother’s new husband was not at issue when the divorce was settled. It has changed the whole equasion with consequences for Caroline and her DH.</p>
<p>I think if they take it to court the mother will probably settle for half of the state school or that’s what the judge will order.</p>
<p>Remember, no parent in any state is responsible for paying for college. Where a parent has agreed to it’s hard to believe the legal interpretation will be any college.</p>
<p>I think Dad1 is on the hook for something, but how much is in question. From my experience, not many judges would rule that Dad1 is on the hook for 50% of high end private school based on his current income. The spirit of the provision was not to pillage the father but to provide an education for the child. As for Texas, judges here (this county) will not order a judgement for college education expenses no matter what the Marital Settlement Agreement says. It is just not something they enforce.</p>
<p>The reality is the Dad1 is screwed. If he can’t pay and Mom locks her Pradas to the ground and kid does not go to ED school, he will hate Dad1. IMO the Dad failed himself by having a poorly written MSA.</p>
<p>2college- check the parking lot of a community college in driving distance of a high rent neighborhood. Stepdad’s porsche is in the parking lot; junior gets to drive it to class and then drops it off at home before heading to his shift at the Gap folding sweaters. Why is junior not at NYU or BU or GW where he was accepted? Because Stepdad wouldn’t pony up; Mom has no assets in her own name, just the nice clothes and expensive handbags new husband has given her; Dad has a new child with his new wife and sees dollar signs every time he closes his eyes, and Stepmom thinks junior should either drop off a cliff or try to cash in his toys to help pay tuition.</p>
<p>I know everyone is trying to be helpful here, but I think it’s lunacy to pay legal fees now to try and whack out an amendment in court. The Dad doesn’t have the cash; the Mom has all the time and money in the world. Meanwhile the kid has only one college acceptance- a place that Dad cannot afford to send him. Why spend more money and risk coming up empty-handed? Why not put the time into getting a few Merit schools on the table so the kid has some options come April???</p>
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<p>If the student ACCEPTS the ED admission (and there usualy isn’t a large time alloted for that decision to be sent in), he is REQUIRED to withdraw ALL other applications and acceptances.</p>
<p>I don’t believe he can apply to other schools if he has accepted an ED spot at Dickenson.</p>
<p>He COULD have applied to some rolling and EA schools when he did his ED application…but if he accepts that ED offer, he MUST with draw any pending applications and acceptances. Those are the ED rules.</p>
<p>It would require the cooperation of all to come up with those merit scholarships or even just to apply to more schools. My guess is that the mom won’t cooperate.</p>
<p>I hear you Blossom, but many of those stepdads you’re referring to are affluent but not wealthy. The OP is telling us the stepdad in this case got a $22mm golden handshake. I can assure you a guy in that situation was already worth many million. If this guy drives a Porche, it’s vintage, only 5 were made and it’s worth $800K!</p>
<p>Spending a few thousand in legal fees to not have to pay $50K or so they can’t afford would be worth it to me. His lawyer can assess his chances, but if they look good, and
they would in many states, it’s a reasonable approach in an already unpleasant situation.</p>
<p>The mom has a retired, wealthy husband. She’s too busy shopping and packing for St. Barths and Aspen to want to spend time in some grimy courthouse!</p>
<p>I do not not know where Caroline and her husband live, but around here it can take months to get a court date to get in front of a judge and then you have to hope that you actually get in that day.</p>
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<p>If they have joint custody and it’s a 50/50 split, then the FAFSA rules are very clear. The parent who provides the MOST support is the one who is listed on the FAFSA. In MOST cases this is the parent (and spouse if there is one) who has the HIGHER income. It would be very hard for this family (especially at Profile schools) to prove that the lower income parent is the custodial parent.</p>
<p>BUT there are some days left to 2010…this child should spend some extra time with the lower income family so that family can be his custodial parent(s) on the FAFSA.</p>
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I’m stuck here also … I get this situation across the families has been a disaster … however if the Dad’s EFC is in the $14k-$22k and Dickinson’s COA is $54k then 1/2 of COA is $27k. So the gap is in the $13k-$5k/yr range … and with no info I’d guess it is closer to the $5k range (Institutional Methodology estimate?). If this beef is over somthing like $5k/yr I would hope something could be worked out.</p>
<p>It does not seem the Mom and StepDad have communicated well at all in this process … however the son apparently approached applications without considering finances and in some ways didn’t need to (his overall IM EFC will be way over the COA of any school) … and so the son really had no limitations on applying and he picked Dickinson from 3000 schools to apply ED … and now his #1 choice is getting torpedoed over $5-$10k/yr with no viable alternative on the horizon. The Dad and StepMom can play hardball here but it seems there could be serious long-term consequences with the son from rejecting his #1 choice.</p>
<p>It’s the mom and stepdad’s EFC that is between $14K and $22K, which isn’t necessarily what they can afford to spend, I know we couldn’t afford our EFC. Many kids don’t get to go to a school like Dickinson because their families can’t afford it, that is what this situation boils down to.</p>
<p>Everyone in this thread should STOP saying what a judge will do. We don’t know. I do not find it the least bit hard to believe that if a father signed the agreement and there has been no major change in HIS circumstances a judge will enforce the agreement as written. Maybe, in Caroline’s state that’s not the case, but we certainly don’t know that to be the fact. </p>
<p>It sounds as if dad was willing to pay half until mom got a new, rich husband. Dad and his new wife seem to think that they should be the ones who benefit from that. Why? </p>
<p>This isn’t about ED. It’s about the choice of college. If SS applies to any school that is as expensive as Dickinson RD, it’s probable the outcome will be the same. Dad doesn’t want to live up to his word. What else is new? </p>
<p>Why does it matter if junior goes on vacation? If dad can’t afford half of college, why is he giving the kid a car? </p>
<p>Why are people so sympathetic to a step mom who comes on he and insults a regular poster?</p>
<p>thumper, right, I asked the OP about this back on page 1 and she posted in #17 that she and her husband do provide more than half of the support. She says the difference is health insurance but if the kid is taking luxury vacations with mom and stepdad and drives a luxury car there, it sure sounds to me like they provide more support. </p>
<p>Pea, but dad signed an agreement saying he was going to pay half of college and may have not set aside any money for this. If we are really talking $5-$10K a year difference and there’s been no major emergency (like loss of job, illness), I don’t think it’s fair to the kid to reneg. To be very blunt, this kid has two parents and possibly as many as 4 to help pay for college. That said, it doesn’t sound very fair to Caroline’s kids (since, if they live with her, stepdad’s income counts even for public so that could turn into a situation where all the $ is going to pay for her stepsiblings’ colleges and she’s working to get through cc) but I’m not sure it’s unfair to a dad who had joint custody, no child support payment, signed that he would pay for college and can’t meet efc despite what may be adequate income. I think it’s partly a case of efc sticker shock combined with bad planning and divorce drama.</p>
<p>OK…I just checked the Dickinson website and as noted, it’s a Profile school. They had a priority filing date for the Profile which was November 15. SO by that time both of these families were required to complete their respective Profiles (the custodial one and the non-custodial one). Seems to me that it was mighty clear by November 15 that the incomes of ALL the respective parents and stepparents was going to be counted when the calculations were done for this school. </p>
<p>It sounds like the problem must have come AFTER the acceptance when the student received not one nickel of financial aid and they all realized the entire cost was going to have to be paid by the families. </p>
<p>To be honest, this should not have come as a big surprise. As noted before, the colleges really do NOT care where the money comes from. The bill needs to be paid. The costs of attending Dickinson as a full pay student are right out there…very public. </p>
<p>It sounds like a school with this cost was not going to be supported by everyone in this family from the get go. Too bad the student didn’t know this.</p>
<p>At this point, the student likely cannot accept this ED offer of admission. If the family cannot QUICKLY make a decision about payment, they will have to say no. AFTER they say no, then the student can send in applications to less expensive colleges.</p>
<p>I would suggest they make a decision quickly. The longer they wait, the less time this student will have to complete other applications to schools that meet his family’s financial criteria.</p>
<p>This is such a lousy situation. I wish all states had a requirement to address tuition during divorce (my state does and I am divorced). What if the kid is responsible for books/expenses during school as well as summer work contribution (2K) and also take out Stafford Loans (5.5 k). This seems it would be a reasonable approach and would bring down the cost to 44,500 or about 22k for each parent (equivalent to the IM estimate). Most financial aid departments do expect working during the school year as well as summer contributions. I think you could spend a lot more going to court than the money the Step Mom and Dad would save in the end. You can go to court without a lawyer (I have done this successfully iin divorce court to keep expenses down). If you show the judge you are willing to work within the parameters of the divorce decree (pay 50%) and also in the “best interests” (however that may be determined) of the student this proposal might work. Of course all the details will not be ironed out by the court until after the commitment to the school has been made - I went through this and paid all the bills until it could be settled in court - it worked out for me but it was scary to forge forth under the circumstances. My divorce decree was much more clear and limited the amount the NCP was required to pay so I was pretty sure I would eventually get the monies owed by NCP. I would make sure a certified letter is sent from H to X clarifying what H is willing to provide. That won’t stand up in court but it is something. As of now is there any written (provable) documentation that H did NOT agree to ED? Did he fill out the CSS Profile - which would indicate he did agree to this choice?</p>
<p>Yes, the dad agreed to pay for half of the college expenses and he is still willing to do that, just not at a college as expensive as Dickinson. According to the OP they are willing to pay for half the cost of a state school.</p>
<p>This happens all the time, many families can’t afford a school as expensive as Dickinson. Many families don’t realize that until their kids get involved in the college application process. When the dad signed the divorce papers I don’t think he anticipated that his ex-wife would unilaterally pick a school with no regard to what he could afford.</p>
<p>Let’s take the step-dad’s fortune out of the equation. Let’s pretend for a minute that the mom and her new husband could only afford their half of the tuition to Dickinson and can’t reasonably be expected to contribute anymore. Would anyone still be telling the OP that she and the dad could afford their half of the tuition at Dickinson?</p>
<p>I doubt it, those kind of decisions must be left to the families. That’s why early decision isn’t binding in the case where the family thinks they can’t afford the cost. The college doesn’t verify that point of view because it’s a judgment call that only the family involved should make.</p>
<p>I sense an honesty on the part of the OP that they can’t afford their share of the price for the son to attend Dickinson. I don’t think this is a case of a family that has the money but just doesn’t want to spend it.</p>