<p>it seems that my friends are getting nasty towards one another in terms of who is applying to which college or whatnot. has this every happened to anyone? i am applying to many schools my friends are. how can we still be helpful towards one another?</p>
<p>True friends will not turn their backs when it comes to college applications, they will gladly share informations and secret tips and all.</p>
<p>Like Confucisus said, "You can tell the difference bewteen true diamonds and fake rocks when you are in danger"</p>
<p>Or let me borrow old cliche "Friend in need is friend indeed" :rolleyes:</p>
<p>It sometimes happens, mostly when someone competes against someone and it's their dream school, trust me, that never works, had to go up against this one girl [who was the sal] for Princeton and also against the val for Harvard and trust me it wasn't pretty. Also, after the fact when someone doesn't get accepted to any elite schools and then they sort of scowl at everyone else just to sort of cope with all the stress. But yeah, once two people apply to the same school it starts to get really serious, though if you're friends with all of them it turns out fine, like four of us applied to Tufts and three of us were accepted so it was really cool that it turned out that way b/c we expecting two at the most if not one. But sometimes the competition can be healthy b/c then it gets you on your toes and you really start thinking, so, good luck.</p>
<p>Hi Twinkletoes,</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I think like clock work it happens every year. I don't think that your friends are being nasty on purpose but the shift in attitudes are a result of the level of stress and the frenzied competitiveness that is now become the norm in the college application process. (Think of them almost like bridezillas for the college set). </p>
<p>The funny thing about friends is that you will find as you go through life, you will find that you don't really have a lot of them. We don't walk around calling people enemies, and we feel it is impolite to refer to people as just someone that you know. In reality what you will find is that you just know a hell of a lot of people and you have a handful of good true friends. </p>
<p>Your real friends are going to be there for you through thick and thin and will always want the best and don't mind doing what they can to help you fulfill your dreams as you will want to do the same for them in return.</p>
<p>I think that the "nastiness" becomes more much more elevated when comes to applying to the handful of "selective" schools (the ivies, Stanford, mit and that ilk). People start grabbing at straws and making very disparaging remarks/comments that they would not normally make.</p>
<p>I think that sometimes parents, teachers and friends don't help the process and contribute to the stress when they inadvertently (and some purposely) try to assess a person's "value" "intelligence" or sense of worth based on what school(s) they are admitted to. </p>
<p>I notice even reading some of the postings on the board, that some really cruel things can come from the fingertips of people who are probably very nice if you really get to know them. </p>
<p>One of the things that students tend to forget, is that the admissions process has never been a straight "stat based' process as colleges are looking to build a class that is aligned with their institutional mission. This means they are looking for people with diverse lives and experiences because college takes place both in and outside of the classroom. But this gets in the way of people who say that my scores were 20 points higher and by Jane's gpa was 2 points lower and I don't know why she got admitted and I did not.</p>
<p>I think that all people can really do is what is in their control; put together the best application you can. </p>
<p>What I found that worked in my house, was my D put together a balanced list of reach, match and sure bet schools. She designed her list from the perspective that if she were to only be admitted into one school, she would be happy there. She knew that no matter what happened she was going to end up into a school where she was going to get a great education and have an amazing college experience. </p>
<p>I remember when she got her first acceptance letter, the second call was to her best friend. the next day when she came to school, the friends had a big banner posted in their first period class congratulating her. So even though she and her high school friends are all at different schools, they still remain in touch and they are still tight with one another and all still want the best for each other.</p>
<p>I think the best thing you can do is be like a race house; put on a set of blinders, so that you can remain focused with what you need to do and run your race. After all has been said and done, you will end up where you need to be and one year from now this will all be a distant memory, where you will hit your self in the head over all of the unnecessary worrying.</p>
<p>all the best to you.</p>
<p>yeah M T Lx x tries to tell me i'm not allowed to apply mto UVA because thats his dream school</p>
<p>and now he's keeping his college list secret so nobody will apply to any of the same schools</p>
<p>thanks sybbie for the advice! that's a really sweet friend who put up the banner.</p>
<p>My friends haven't started yet. Then again, they aren't that competitive.</p>
<p>A good friend and I both applied to Rice and Cornell. I beat his stats by a bit, but not much. He was rejected from Cornell and Rice and I got into both and things never were the same between us.</p>
<p>Meeting high school friends after college is unlikely.</p>
<p>So screw them when it comes to applying.</p>
<p>Who are they to insult you when you're only doing what's best for your future?</p>
<p>^^^ True for most schools especially for elite universities. You won't see your HS friends unless you go really good schools that send 50 people to Cal...like mine. I really don't like most of those people too, that really bites.</p>
<p>^Well that only 50 people out of how many at Berkeley!?!?!? I doubt you would even have any of them for more than 2 classes. Odds are in your favor :)</p>