<p>does he have a family? if then its okay.</p>
<p>see some elitist attitudes here…Ivy grad couldn’t possible be a threat, interviewer is doing the student a favor…ect. No, it’s not a favor to the applicant as the school requires an interview…not the kid’ choice. I agree with “a stranger is a stranger” and no 17 year old daughter of mine would be walking into their home.</p>
<p>“This is very different. Girls are used to dealing with boys their own age, but they are not typically accustomed to dealing with grown men, especially men who are in a perceived position of power.”</p>
<p>Whoa – this would explain why so many rapes of young women occur in corporate suites, vs. in frat houses?</p>
<p>Boys their own age are way more dangerous to young women, because they aren’t perceived as threatening. They’re just Jared from English class, Mike from 4th floor west, Chris from the Tau Delt house.</p>
<p>Re: meeting the interviewer at the office: one could easily attack someone in a law firm after hours.</p>
<p>r124, I don’t say the situation would have been different had that awkward interview been in the home. I say it could have been. The opportunity to get up and walk out would not have been so easy had it been in the home, AND IF the interviewer was up to no good. You made a strong, valid point that given the location, the student was safe. Had it been in his home, she MAY not have been.
I’d agree that most interviews are innocent. Sadly, we don’t know that they weren’t until after something bad has happened. Though the risk of this is small, why choose to take th risk when there are safer alternatives?</p>
<p>Question to wannabe(post 161) Do you mean married men never commit thefts or rapes? Do you mean married men never have false allegations against them?</p>
<p>Even an interviewer who says his family will be there may be mistaken, or may be flat-out lying.</p>
<p>geeps has it right too, that the unpaid alum interviewer is doing a favor for the school, not for the student.</p>
<p>Yep, payin3, I’m seeing alot of irrational paranoia and inexperience with the real world in these discussions. I worry we have overprotected this generation and they lack the skills to take risks, think on their feet, and cope with the unpleasant or inconvenient (including fending off the inappropriate advances.)</p>
<p>I see that the students who are truly succeeding, and able to find employment coming out of top Ivies this year have experience in the working adult world. They are not worried every adult is out to exploit them, and they risk traveling to new destinations for opportunity, sans parents. </p>
<p>Knowing how many Ivy students will take off for foreign lands and big strange cities as early as summer after freshman year, it seems naive to for these well-meaning parents to be so fretful about a home interview. There will be plenty of real danger to worry about later.</p>
<p>Not much comfort, I know.</p>
<p>Can I get an Amen to that Hanna! BOTH my abuse situations were “known quantities”.</p>
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<p>You bet.
The middle aged man who molested me as a teenager was a neighbor. We knew him well. We trusted him. He did absolutely nothing that would raise any suspicious eyes – until he did. These requests to “google the guy” are hilarious. </p>
<p>And no, geeps, only 1 or 2 people has said that if the person is associated with an Ivy, he’s less likely to be up to no good, and those people have been shot down, because that’s a stupid assertion.</p>
<p>Something about the logic of this thread is inside-out. Some want the girl to demonstrate her maturity and worldliness by not speaking up to adjust the venue. That was how I negotiated college before the Women’s Movement, when women were treated as guests in academia.</p>
<p>She has every right, every reason to want to feel safe during her interview. If you assume she’s safe because it’s in a faculty home, that’s your understanding but not hers.</p>
<p>Establishing a venue for HER interview in which she feels right is to her advantage as an applicant. Why don’t you think she should take the situation and reins in hand and ASK for that accommodation? That sounds very mature and college-ready to me.</p>
<p>Such a student would also know that if a faculty member had a girl-happy reputation on campus, she could still take a course with him and relocate any conference to a college public space, not his office. </p>
<p>I see requesting a changed venue as practice for strengthening a young woman, while others see her need to speak up for herself as demonstrating she is weak.<br>
That’s the backwards logic and I just don’t get it.</p>
<p>Bovertine–Yes, quite a contrast between your flying and mountain climbing, the 16 year old sailor, and the vice-clamps of parental overprotectiveness squeezing the common experiences out of 18 year olds today.</p>
<p>so fauve equates Ivy league grads(post 165) taking chances and succeeding with 17 yr old high school students? I cannot agree it is a fair comparison.</p>
<p>To the OP’s question:
Yes if you go with her</p>
<p>“only 1 or 2 people has said that if the person is associated with an Ivy, he’s less likely to be up to no good”</p>
<p>Not because it’s an Ivy, but because colleges won’t accept the liability without thoroughly vetting such interviewers; but especially an Ivy, because they have deep liability pockets.</p>
<p>Well this is a very active thread. I appreciate how many issues have been raised without personal insults. I have to go and cook dinner because that’s what I do, but please continue to post productively and without rancor so this thread can stay up.</p>
<p>Pay3—I see no logic in promoting the paranoia- if a daughter is uncomfortable in a home interview with a known alumn, with mom in a car nearby, how does that add to the girl’s strength? It seems counterproductive. Her confidence will only grow if she can learn who to trust, how to trust, and how to get herself out of an uncomfortable situation.</p>
<p>She is going into an interviewer’s house, not the state pen.</p>
<p>Let’s not confuse an alumnus with a member of the faculty.</p>
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<p>This thing about vetting drives me crazy. It presupposes that someone who is up to no good has demonstrated such behavior before, and therefore has some kind of “marker” that can be verified by googling / checking LinkedIn / other investigation on the part of the college and / or student. Don’t you guys get it? People who are up to no good always have a first time. People who “look perfect on paper” can and do do bad things. A college can vet interviewers all they like, but c’mon – just because someone hasn’t made a pass at a teenage girl in the past doesn’t mean they won’t. Really, how is Fair Ivy going to know that Mr. Bob Alumni who now lives in Walla Walla, Washington has a roving eye for cute teenage girls, unless he has a criminal record?</p>
<p>And the “especially an Ivy” makes no sense. I am sure the administrative folks at Harvard and Southeast Montana State would be equally sorry to hear that an interviewer did something untoward towards a student, and their legal counsel would be equally worried about liability fallout.</p>
<p>Im new to this forum, and am simply amazed and thankful of all your comments. This is
definately a starting point for my daughter (who has been taught to critically think) can make her decision. As a mom, I have vowed that if my daughter faces any devastating situations It will not be on my watch. With that being said, my son at 23 years old was killed in a motorcycle accident. When he decided to ride the motorcycle, I showed him the statistics, and gave him my best thought out opinion on the dangers of motorcycles. And of course he made is own decision. I think our job as parents is to give the best advise we have. I can tell you now that whether your son or daughter is 17 or 30, if for some reason you lose a child, how you feel about being (better safe than sorry) has a new meaning. Would I feel worst about my sons death if I had not given the information? And told him to just work it out? Yes. It sounds good to say that they have to make they own way, but the fact of the matter is, they have only one time in some situations to get it right. Your comments are gratefully appreciated. And I will chime back in to let you know what decision she made.</p>
<p>Younghoss- these fair 17 year olds will be 18 within days or weeks, and, contrary to what we mothers would like to believe, they will go on all sorts of scary-to-mom adventures once they set foot on their Ivy (or other) campuses. They will take the Bolt bus or train for NYC weekends, they will do summer internships in Peru, Africa, and D.C.; they will be with grown men in offices, cars, and homes. </p>
<p>If you support your daughter’s dreams (and want her to find gainful employment someday) you will encourage her jobs and jaunts, and hope she has the skills to cope. Now is the time for those coping skills to develop and expand. If you want her to be able to walk into a new office and contribute during her internships and summer jobs, let her out of the bubble now, so she is not a cowering, frightened little girl. </p>
<p>Please, also acknowledge the 18 year old girls and boys (women and men) who are at this moment on patrol in the hills of Afghanistan, catapulting jets off aircraft carriers in the Gulf, and sitting at computers operating armed drones. Our older teens are not so incompetant as parents would like to believe.</p>
<p>Legitamate- I’m so very sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your son. You have every right to be a million times protective!</p>
<p>I don’t consider college interviews Perfectly Safe, whether they are in the interviewer’s house, with or without a spouse and children present, or in the interview room at a maximum security prison. So what? I expect my children to attempt things that aren’t Perfectly Safe all the time, and to deal with it if a problem arises. I am confident they can.</p>
<p>That said, I have never, ever heard of a problem at a college interview. I’m sure it has happened sometime – see the story above – but the system will weed those interviewers out PDQ. I know a lot of interviewers; there is no basis for a 17 year-old feeling uncomfortable meeting them in their homes. (The younger interviewers I can remember all opted for public places.)</p>
<p>I AM prejudiced against people who fixate on non-realistic threats, children or parents. They make life a lot less pleasant and gracious, and a lot more constricted. They make things a little meaner for everyone. I wish they would go away. I wish their children – if not willing to make a break with their parents’ way of looking at things – would go to some college I didn’t care about and take their crabbed worldview with them.</p>
<p>Here, here. Well said, JHS.</p>