<p>Through correspondence with offline messages, my D will be doing an overnight with the D of another poster on these boards when my D goes to visit that particular campus. Is that too risky? I’ll meet the young woman and shake her hand and what-not when I turn over my D, but I’ll just have to trust that indeed she’ll just take my D out for coffee and walk her around the campus and stop by the student center and hang out with friends, as opposed to rope her into being part of a prostitution ring or freaky three-way or something.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, my daughter did that several times…overnights with students she did not know ahead of time. I was OK with it. I guess some here might not be. It was beneficial. By the way, I try to line up such things for my advisees to connect them with students I know at the campuses they are visiting. I know my kids appreciated such offers when they were applicants. </p>
<p>Come to think of it, when D did an overnight at Yale, it was with the daughter of a friend of my brother’s in Alaska. It was all lined up between the girls (didn’t know each other). I was there and dropped D off at a meet up spot with this girl. The girl did not take this too seriously and made plans to go on a date to a dance that night, leaving my D alone in the dorm. My D met some students (male in fact) on the hall, and hung out with them and talked to them (strangers!). The host came back about 1 AM and offered at that point to go out with D but she declined and stayed back as she had a full day on campus lined up the next day and it was just too late. Normally, the experiences were not like this and the host truly has been a host. (this girl likely was doing a favor as her parent asked her to do it as a favor to my brother) But my kid survived and was not shy about meeting strange students and she learned a lot from them. I was not worried. I don’t think I am a bad parent. :)</p>
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If I had to guess which venue would be the most intimidating for a 17 yo, I’d pick the business office, where the power difference will be the most obvious, the student will be surrounded by people in suites and ties, and will surely feel s/he is taking up the interviewer’s valuable time.</p>
<p>The next in line would be Starbucks et al, where there is a good chance to see one’s classmate/neighbor/teacher, and worry to be overheard. Plus the ever-present worry of who should offer whom to buy drinks, etc.</p>
<p>All in all, it is amazing to see that this topic generated 36 pages of responses, and about as much controversy as the question of whether you should let your college student sleep in the same room with their visiting boyfriend/girlfriend…</p>
<p>i am a student that is currently going through the college process, including interviews.
i have been contacted for 5 interviews thus far (Georgetown, Harvard, Princeton, Brown, and Yale) and they were all scheduled at public places except for Harvard.
my parents did not think twice about the Harvard interview’s location, since it seemed normal protocol to them, but i felt a little uneasy at first about going to a man’s home by myself; however, looking back on that interview, i now see that i was in a safe situation.
i drove myself to the alum’s house, called my mom when i got there and told her i would call again when it was over, and took note that the alum’s wife was in the house.
the interview was comfortable, quiet, and completely distraction-free. i also saw that the alum was in the middle of a lot of paperwork, which i’m sure he quickly and easily returned to once the interview was over (alum’s are busy people, as are we all).</p>
<p>home interviews make just as much sense, if not more, than interviews in public places.
for home interviews, as for any situation, the proper precautions for safety must be taken and the interviewee must be aware of his/her surroundings at all times (which should always be the case, for mere common sense). a pedophile can come in any shape or size, and while an alum of a top school may in fact be one, the cashier at the local starbucks may just as well be a psychopathic axe murderer.</p>
<p>i can understand parents’ concerns, but sending a child off to college in the first place is in many ways far more dangerous than sending them off to a college interview. at our age, we should be mature and intelligent enough to be able to handle a possible (though unlikely) sticky situation, and talking to your child beforehand can even improve this ability. walking your child to the door of the alum’s house is apropos IMO, but waiting in the car seems superfluous as this prevents nothing except perhaps 1% of the paranoia you may experience.</p>
<p>i say home interviews are a go.</p>
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<p>Note to self: Do not drink coffee and read CC at the same time. I almost blew up my computer!</p>
<p>My son told me to take a look at this thread – for those who advised that a parent go up to the door and introduce herself to the interviewer, as an ivy league interviewer, I would strongly suggest that you refrain from doing so. This would make your child appear immature. Nor should you hang out in the driveway. Generally students drive themselves to the interview, or get dropped off with the parent disappearing until called (probably waiting just down the street). My husband and I both interview in our home, as it is much more convenient for us, and never have we encountered a request to hold an interview elsewhere. Of course if a student said that her parent was concerned and asked whether it would be ok if the interview were held in a public setting, we would agree. The college recommends that we do not go to the interviewee’s home, however. It would introduce too many potential drawbacks: unwitting prejudice, say if the interviewer thought the home was messy, tacky, run-down or excessively opulent, or nervous kids anticipating their parents listening.</p>
<p>I am really beginning to wonder if some posters just stop in to contentious threads occasionally to make humorous remarks to bolster their liberal credentials. As a clue: the above posts (541,545) are disrespectful to divergent viewpoints. Isn’t “elite” education all about diversity–of people, experience, culture and thought?</p>
<p>^^Yes, I believe Pizzagirl was being disrespectful to the sex-for-hire community.</p>
<p>Obviously, an elite education does not make one more open to divergent views. That is the lesson I have personally taken away from this thread. Since neither my husband nor I attended “elite” institutions, and, therefore, not being “in the club,” I couldn’t really believe much of what I have been reading here. As I have expressed many times before (not that “anyone cares” as I’ve been told), I am simply astonished at the attitudes of so many parents/interviewers here. Simply flabbergasted at the attitudes and behaviors.</p>
<p>mummom- Many of us seem to offend you. I have to wonder why you keep reading the threads and posting. Perhaps this forum isn’t for you if you find us so boorish and disrespectful. You seem to be pretty hung up on the whole “elite” thing. We went through this on the Texas State thread. You want to impute viewpoints to other posters that are simply not there. You are constantly “astonished” and “flabbergasted”. I don’t think we are all that exciting, personally. We discuss topics, express our viewpoints from our own particular experiences in life, and have a chuckle or two. It’s probably not going to make the morning paper.</p>
<p>I agree with mummom on this thread. It HAS been offensive and disrespectful just because of a differing viewpoint.</p>
<p>“At a minimum, they had the intelligence, mental stability and ethics that allowed them to be an alum of that school.”</p>
<p>And attitudes like this are at the core of the issue, imho.</p>
<p>There have been some punches thrown by BOTH sides, but I don’t get the “Oh poor me. I have been so wronged” stuff.</p>
<p>I will agree that just being an alum of an “elite” school doesn’t mean you have mental stability and ethics. I’m sure we can all come up with plenty of examples otherwise. :)</p>
<p>The one thing that has bothered me the most is the repeated insinuation and sometimes directly stated that the students of parents concerned with an in-home interview are less mature, less capable, and not college ready. Prove it.</p>
<p>mummom said –
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<p>I don’t know about that (having graduated from a state school), but it does seem to produce some major “players.” And, I can’t see that these players are all of one “view.” I quess the interview process helps get players.</p>
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Also George Pataki is a grad.</p>
<p>MOWC–you pick those whose stablilty is in issue. That would be a hoot!</p>
<p>Well, just catching up on the afternoons posts. Nice to see the sparring can go on in my absence :)</p>
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<p>I was, by implying that I didn’t want my D to become one of them. How very un-liberal of me!</p>
<p>I did not and never have said I was offended MOWC. I am astonished by some of the coarse language and arrogant attitudes. Nor have I ever asked anyone to excuse themselves from a thread, as you just did to me. Btw, I barely checked in to the Texas thread, in fact I’m don’t think I posted on it at all. I think you must be confusing me with someone else. I know nothing about Texas schools. </p>
<p>I must say, if many of you think you are reflecting well upon your alma maters…you might want to rethink that.</p>
<p>Oh, goody…happy to see that jym just happened to check in.</p>
<p>ciao</p>
<p>Actually, mummom, you DID post on that thread and said things similar to what you are saying here and the thread was then closed. It actually does take two to tango, as they say.</p>
<p>"“At a minimum, they had the intelligence, mental stability and ethics that allowed them to be an alum of that school.”</p>
<p>And attitudes like this are at the core of the issue, imho."</p>
<p>Huh? My point was that if they were stupid they wouldn’t have gotten into or through college. If they committed some major ethical violation, they would have been kicked out of the college. If they were very emotionally unbalanced as a student, they wouldn’t have graduated.</p>
<p>The point isn’t elitist. Someone who can graduate from college probably has more on the ball than someone who can’t graduate because they got kicked out or couldn’t be accepted due to bad grades or scores or lacked the emotional balance to be able to handle college.</p>
<p>Is post # 557 and example of the “essence of good manners” to which you ascribe, mummom? :rolleyes: I guess that’s just your polite way of saying “welcome back- we want everyone here to feel comfortable…”</p>