<p>
</p>
<p>A 17-year old girl who doesn’t want to show up at the home of a man whom she has never met, not knowing who else is in the house has a flawed character which may prevent her from fully participating in college?</p>
<p>That’s not a stretch - it’s a pole vault across a canyon.</p>
<p>Yup – it’s a canyon! No one I know would think of turning down the interview. That’s how we roll…</p>
<p>D says a girl at her school had an interview with very odd, personal questions that made her uncomfortable. When she got home her mom called the college to complain, and college said they knew nothing about the interview, they did not arrange it. Who was this guy, and how did he get her name? Luckily they met in a starbucks- not his home. D also had a wierd interview with a WashU alum who spent the entire time talking about how underage drinking was not really frowned on, and how easily available alcohol was.
If I allowed my daughter to interview at a strange man’s house, I would be waiting in the car outside.</p>
<p>In this particular situation, I’d say (to ease mom’s tension and not wreck D’s interview): All this D has to do is program her cellphone so she can hit some kind of silent speed-dial to her mom that says, “come fetch me.” </p>
<p>In the absolutely hyper-rare instance where somehow the interviewer makes her feel physically or emotionally uncomfortable through body language or language, D knows she can silently hit her cell and mom will show up at the door very soon and the interview will end. Deal is: Mom says “an emergency came up, so sorry I have to pull her now from this interview, bye.” 99.999999% that will never be used but setting up the system might help the mom chill and teach D to always have a bail-out arrangement from enclosed situations. THAT’s a useful college skill.</p>
<p>That said, the male interviewer would be wiser to understand the power relationships here. If he wants to use his home, and he has many reasons (as NSM outlines) for this to tip in favor of his remaining a volunteer for good purpose, then he should GET WITH IT and know to be proactive. As he reaches out to set up the interview, he could say, “it will be at my house and my family will be home” or
if single “since it will be at my house you are welcome to bring another person along if you prefer.”</p>
<p>BTW, I don’t know what’s with faculty behind their closed doors. Wake up! Male clergy behind closed doors these days keep those doors wide open, or open by a crack, whenever they counsel females. If they need to close a door for sound privacy, they clue in their secretaries to pop in for some non-reason during the session. All to keep protected from false accusations. Where we work, male afterschool tutors ask (and are given) rooms where there is window visibility to the rest of the offices. Get with it, faculty!</p>
<p>When all sorts of companies came recruiting at my alma mater, hotel rooms were frequently used. We job-hungry collegians weren’t going to say no.</p>
<p>That being said, one guy did make a pass at my roomie at the end of his interview…</p>
<p>@ Gourmetmom^^What does she do? </p>
<p>She conducts herself like a young adult during the interview and gets over some gothic, Victorian paranoia that the interviewer will not be able to resist exploiting her innocence. </p>
<p>Has there ever been a documented case of an interviewer, whose identity is well-known to the Ivy college, who has given endless hours of his/her time over many years, acting inappropriately with an interviewee? </p>
<p>Your daughters and sons will face much higher risks of assault in dorm rooms with inebriated fellow students than with a prescheduled interview in a private home.</p>
<p>Of course it is preferable for an interview to take place in a cafe or library, for the peace of mind of the parent. However, if the interviewer prefers her/his home, it is time for parent and student to develop some courtesy, trust, and logic, and deal with the situation graciously.</p>
<p>And, wouldn’t that same parent moan and whine if her DD was denied an interview due to a shortage of volunteer alumni?</p>
<p>If I were a prospective college student- male or female- I’d be skeptical if an interviewer told me my I’d be unable to be accepted in his college unless I attended an interview in his home as JHS indicates in post 64. Proof the inverviewer is a bad person? Heck No.
Possible? Oh, yes.
I’d try very hard to reschedule the interview to a neutral place. If interviewer is unwilling, I’d be even more skeptical still. I’m 50, not 17, but I feel if the interviewer were unable to meet me in a neutral place, I’d have no problem calling the school to ask for another interviewer explaining only that I couldn’t schedule a meeting. If asked, I’d tell them the interviewer was only willing to meet with me if it was in his own home.</p>
<p>If I were the OP, I would probably advise my daughter to go ahead with the interview if she’s not comfortable suggesting an alternate location. At least google the guy ahead of time to get an idea of who he is - something she’d want to know anyway.</p>
<p>“With a clear policy not to interview candidates in one’s home, I can’t imagine how Cornell is able to accomplish their interviews.”</p>
<p>With a few exceptions, Cornell doesn’t require or offer interviews nor are interviews admissions factors. Consequently, I can see how they can find enough interviewers. This is far different than is Harvard, which has 30,000 applicants, factors interviews into admission, and tries to interview all of its U.S. applicants. From Cornell’s website:</p>
<p>"All students (both freshman and transfers) who apply to the architecture department in the College of Architecture, Art, and Planning or to the School of Hotel Administration are required to have a personal interview. Transfer applicants to the School of Industrial & Labor Relations must also complete a personal interview. Interviews are also recommended, though not required, for students applying to major in fine arts. In architecture or fine arts, you should be prepared to present your artistic ability through the required portfolio as well; and the hotel school is particularly interested in your knowledge of and commitment to the field of hotel administration. </p>
<p>In all other programs, interviews are neither required nor offered."</p>
<p>" But if the college wants to have these interviews conducted by alums and they don’t have enough alums available, then that is the colleges’ problem and should not be passed on to the student. Perhaps the college needs to seek others to interview or choose not to interview. "</p>
<p>Their current system has been working fine for Harvard for years. They don’t appear to have a reason to change it.</p>
<p>" suggest that your daughter call the interviewer and ask if they can hold the interview at her school - she can come up with a reasonable excuse about why it is necessary (after school project, etc.). Then, she can let her G/C know that she’ll be having an interview and will need an empty office. "</p>
<p>I don’t suggest doing this at all. It would be an imposition. If the D wants to say that her parents don’t want to go over to a strange man’s home, and if the D then asks if she can have a phone interview, that at least wouldn’t be imposing on the interviewer.</p>
<p>“If you were applying for a job would you feel a tiny bit weird if your future boss invited you into his home for an interview?”</p>
<p>Presumably one’s prospective boss has an office so it would indeed be unsettling to be invited to his/her home for an interview. That’s not the case with alum interviewers. If they have offices, they may not be able to use them for interviews or the offices may be more private than would their homes. For instance, years ago, I used to interview students on weekends in the corporate office where I worked. Typically I was the only person on the entire floor on weekends, and we had to walk through several empty offices to get to mine. There would have been more people in my home. </p>
<p>“He always conducts the interviews at the students’ high school. Typically, he’ll call the student, get an idea of their schedule, then call the school’s guidance office to set up an appropriate time. The G/Cs are always delighted to help - typically these students are among the school’s best and brightest and they want to do all they can to make this a smooth process.”</p>
<p>When I first started interviewing in the place where I live, I asked students whether they preferred for me to interview them at their school or at my home. All said at my home. I think that’s because they felt that a home situation would be more private in a good way because their friends and GC wouldn’t know when they were having their interview. Some students become more stressed when friends, GC, family are nearby during their interviews. </p>
<p>In some high schools, too, it’s possible for passersby to see into interview rooms.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what’s with faculty. Wake up! Male clergy behind closed doors these days keep those doors open by a crack when they counsel females. If they need to close a door for privacy, they clue in their secretaries to pop in for some non-reason during the session. All to keep protected from false accusations. Where we work, male afterschool tutors ask (and are given) rooms where there is window visibility to the rest of the offices. Get with it, faculty!”</p>
<p>They still may be in very private offices. I am taking a community college class for fun and spent an hour yesterday in my male prof’s office. While his office had a window to the outside corridor, the corridor was little traveled, the door leading into the corridor was locked, and there were no other professors around. He could have been doing anything to me and no one would have known.</p>
<p>My husband, a prof, has an office in a similar situation. No matter how careful faculty want to be to protect themselves and to make students feel safe, there’s only so much they can do.</p>
<p>fauve address the liklihood that a male interviewer will force himself on a naive girl(post 87). One possibility, and I agree with fauve unlikely. But the other possible actions already mentioned for both the host and the student were overlooked. Some scenarios are more likely than others yes, but if there is any uncertainty then there is the risk. There are risks we have to take. Why should host or student take this risk when it is so easy to work around it?</p>
<p>Haven’t read the whole thread… but I am very surprised an interviewer would put him/herself in that situation. Dh is a teacher, and he would never be alone in a room – much less our house – with a student. I’m surprised that an interviewer would be naive enough to leave him/herself that vulnerable.</p>
<p>An option for OP is to contact the school and ask if this is customary and how she is as concerned about the vulnerability of the interviewer as about her dd. For all we know, the school cautions against it and the interviewer is not following policy.</p>
<p>I agree with younghoss. Not that an at-home interview is an invitation to bad behavior, but why not take any possibility of a problem off the table and have the interview in an neutral location?</p>
<p>D1 was doing “meet and greet events” at some firms while she is looking for internship. She met a senior person at one event, who obviously was older than her, invited her to “hang out” with some people after work that evening (other candidates were not invited). Of course she was flattered and didn’t think she had a choice but to go. I, on the other hand, being in the same business have seen how older man could take advantage of younger girls. I would have preferred if she didn’t go, but I didn’t say anything, I just said, “Use your common sense.” She knew what I was talking about. It was only a few years ago when she was doing college interviews, now SHE needs to be the one to decide when/how to get out of awkward situations. It’s not possible for me to protect her all the time.</p>
<p>I would use this opportunity to teach my daughter on what to do at different situations rather than not letting her go, even if there maybe a slight risk.</p>
<p>From NSM: “It would be an imposition.” Exactly. Time for parents to consider the interviewer’s needs, not just their own hyper-sensitive paranoia. If a parent can’t trust the professionalism of the college interviewer, why are they considering a college outside the bubble of mommy-protection?</p>
<p>Yes to ^^ Oldfort. Our DDs need to learn the skills of self-protection. A low-risk Ivy interview seems like a fine place to begin for the over-sheltered little lambs.</p>
<p>I think it is important to differentiate between a college interview and a relationship with a professor or teacher. Students have established, on-going relationships with their instructors, so in the event that they may be alone together they would have some prior knowledge about each other so they could proceed in whatever manner they find appropriate. </p>
<p>An interview is a first time meeting and the rules are different - a more narrowly defined environment is more appropriate - this is not a casual meeting. Sometimes we blur the lines of formality and informality. The college interview is somewhat formal for two reasons: the interviewer and student are meeting for the first time, and it is part of a highly important occasion in the student’s life.</p>
<p>Aren’t most rapes committed by people the victim knows? If so, then isn’t it more dangerous for your D to go to the home of someone she knows than to an interviewer-stranger’s home?</p>
<p>We viewed the interview as an opportunity, not a threat.</p>
<p>Looking at this from another perspective, would I myself as an adult, be uncomfortable going to a stranger’s home (male or female)? Probably</p>
<p>Would I think it would be ok to meet at someone’s home for a job interview? No</p>
<p>Is it practical advice that if we don’t know someone, that we meet them at a public place? Yes</p>
<p>Would saying that it is ok to go to a stranger’s home the type of example I’d want to set for my child as they go out into the world as an independent person? No</p>
<p>If I told my husband I was going to some strange man’s house that I never met before and that I wasn’t sure who else would be in the home, would he insist on taking me and waiting for me to make sure I was ok? Yes</p>
<p>It is irrelevant that the alumni is doing this on a voluntary basis. Common Sense should still prevail. If it is true for an adult to be sensible with their safety why is it ok to tell a child (minor) to disregard this same advice? </p>
<p>If it were me in the same situation, I would not bring up the reason, I would just email the interviewer and let them know that unfortunately I have a conflict for that time chosen, that I appreciate their time and would be happy to meet them at or nearby their office if that would be more convenient. Alternatively if they are unable to meet with me due to their schedule, to please let me know and that I will contact XYZ University to arrange an interview with another interviewer. Alternatively, if they are the only interviewer, I would suggest a telephone interview.</p>
<p>My Ss got 4 interviews for their respective colleges. Three were at the interviewer’s place of work and one was at the interviewer’s home.
If I were the boss of the interviewer, and the interviewer had 12-14 alumni interviews lined up in the office, I would not be terribly happy.</p>
<p>Regarding faculty meeting with students: TAs and profs at the various schools I know of have been instructed to keep their door ajar when meeting with individual students. There is far more risk of a TA or prof who has some connection with a student harassing said student (or the student accusing the TA or prof of harassing him or her) than of two perfect strangers somehow behaving inappropriately.</p>
<p>I feel like if the interviewer is incapable of fulfilling the responsibility of being an interviewer without requiring the interviewees to do something that makes them or their parents uncomfortable, they shouldn’t be interviewing. It being a noble thing to volunteer doesn’t make any difference. You don’t volunteer for anything, anything at all, thinking that you get to dictate the terms just because you aren’t getting paid. That is just not the nature of volunteering. If you can’t do the job appropriately, you don’t.</p>
<p>I would not be willing to go into a strangers house no matter what the circumstances are. I am supposed to trust them just because they’re affiliated with a school? I don’t think so, that’s very naive.</p>