<p>I would say that it depends on how much hiring clout their college fields on a regional versus national level</p>
<p>Our DS was sure he would return to NYC area as it has always been his goal.
Would LOVE to live IN the city if his budget could make it plausible.</p>
<p>He’s living and working in northern NJ (where we live but not with us) and catches the midtown direct train into NYC several times/week, for gigs and fun.</p>
<p>Perhaps the bigger trend would be the post-graduate drift to urban centers where a new college grad is more likely to find an entry-level white-collar job. Many colleges and some universities are located in areas not conducive to significant employment prospects for new college grads.</p>
<p>I have seen figures before that show the number is VERY small unless the kid is from the area originally (ie home town college). Other than the 1 year I spent in my college town after graduation, I only know 1 person who stayed in town after we graduated; there has also never been anyone in my extended family who has stayed in town, other than 1 cousin who grew up in the same town.</p>
<p>In our immediate family.</p>
<p>Me: undergrad Boston, grad NYC. Spent 3 years in CA (with to be dh) and 5 years in Germany before ending up back in the NYC area.</p>
<p>DH: undergrad Boston, grad LA. Did post doc in Germany, got job offers in Alabama, Louisiana and NYC area. Chose NYC and has been at the same institution ever since.</p>
<p>Brother 1 - undergrad Boston. Worked for a firm in southern NH and stayed in the area, has his own company now. His wife went to same college originally from Florida.</p>
<p>Brother 2, undergrad Boston, grad school Providence. Spent a few years in Ann Arbor when his Boston born wife was working on a PhD. They returned to Boston.</p>
<p>(Note that my Mom is from Boston, so we have a lot of relatives there too.)</p>
<p>DH’s brother - undergrad Chicago, worked in DC then did Law school in CA (after a year of grad school in New Haven) and stayed in area with CA wife.</p>
<p>DH’s sister - undergrad Chicago, returned to DC area to be with family.</p>
<p>I’d say it varies, wives sometimes determined ultimate location and sometimes didn’t. Undergrad institutions sometimes determined location sometimes didn’t. For us coming back to the east coast after Germany as most family was at least somewhere between Roanoke and NH.</p>
<p>My brother & I went to undergrad on the West Coast. My other sibs all got their bachelor’s degrees in HI. 6 of us got grad/professional degrees 2500-5000 miles from HI. All 7 of us have returned to HI, where we settled down and raised our families, so it definitely depends. Most of my folk’s friends have kids scattered here there & everywhere, like many other families.</p>
<p>In my case, I married someone who was already enrolled in medical school, thus constraining my job search to that area (which was not a big deal, as it was Chicago).</p>
<p>Then, a few years later when it came time for residency, since I was the main breadwinner and would continue to be that during residency, he was then constrained by my existing job to stay in the same area. So it works both ways.</p>
<p>Sadly I think that distant college choices make it less likely for kids to move back to hometown. And… if they marry somebody especially close to their family or in a town with good job suspects that is a factor too.</p>
<p>Methinks a summer internship near parents (and free rent) could increase the odd of finding a job near home after graduation. Oh - feel free to PM me if you know about CO summer internships for elec/comp engineering students ;)</p>
<p>I’ve never gotten why it’s “sad.” We have planes, trains and automobiles, and we can communicate far more easily across distances than we could in previous years. I think it’s exciting to think of a big world to explore, and I for one wish I’d done more of that before settling down at an early age.</p>
<p>I’m not really sure it’s always about closeness of family, either. Plenty of people can be close in proximity but not truly close.</p>
<p>Among the students I know who have recently graduated/are graduating soon, it seems to be split between staying in the college location, returning home or a moving to another location altogether. I am in suburban DC so the number returning to the hometown area is likely higher than in places with fewer opportunities.</p>
<p>Neither my wife nor I were ever under any pressure to return to our home areas, and we didn’t raise our kids to think they had to come back to where we live. (Even if it is much more vibrant than the places we grew up, and the kids COULD come back here if they wanted.) Lately, however, my wife has been thinking that was a mistake. She would like it if they were closer by. (One is 100, the other 700 miles away.)</p>
<p>D1 was few thousand miles away, so we decided to move within few miles from her. We would never ask our kids to move back home, but we never said that we wouldn’t move with them. :)</p>
<p>My five went away, D1 transfered back during undergrad to be close to home. Some went 3000+ miles away for undergrad. But all have come back to our area, even son in med school is about 45 minutes away. However, since they have all been away they know what they can do elsewhere and what they can do here.</p>
<p>Choices that I am sure will fluctuate over time. At least I hope they all have choices and can continue to try and do new things. But they always seem to come home afterwards. Makes me happy.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>I think we need both (for lack of better terms) “pioneers” and “homebodies” in any population. Pioneers are the ones who leave home, disperse ideas and culture around the country, and diversify the gene pool. Homebodies build institutions, like churches, through generations, and care for their parents when they get older. Of my generation (i.e. my siblings and first cousins), more of the ones who grew up in metropolitan areas went away to college and eventually settled across the country. The ones who grew up in small communities all went to college closer by and ended up living within an hour’s drive from home.</p>
<p>An observation from my family: Three of my aunt/uncle couples have all their children living far away. As their health has declined, that distance has become a real burden. Their children visit once or twice a year with the grandchildren but can’t participate in that day-to-day help that often is vital. Those aunts and uncles very keenly miss their children and grandchildren, yet they are so rooted in their communities that they don’t want to move. On the other hand, my aunts and uncles with children nearby are surrounded by children and grandchildren who drive them, help them with home repairs, and check in with them daily to be sure that they are well.</p>
<p>Ultimately, we can’t decide for our children what they will do. Some will stay; some will leave. I have one who is very independent and wants to live oversees. I’m excited for that child and would never stand in the way of those aspirations, but at the same time I’m sadly resigned to a feeling that we may well live a long distance apart after college graduation.</p>
<p>When my D chose NYC for college, I pretty much assumed she won’t be coming back to the Detroit area. Her areas of career interest are better served in other areas. That doesn’t mean I won’t move to where she is someday! My S, who knows what he’ll do. At first, the idea of going away to college was not appealing to him but I pretty much told him he needs to learn to live on his own while still having support from his parents. I thought he’d attend something in state, not too far, but he’s considering colleges further away now. </p>
<p>If I have grandkids, I want to be a big part of their lives, like my mom was with my kids. She watched my kids when I went back to work and they were SO close. I love that she had such an influence on them and I see her in them every day, now that she’s gone. I don’t know that my kids will be waiting until I can retire to have their children (17 more years… probably unlikely, but not impossible, since they are almost 17 and 19). We’ll see 
But my dad… he’s lived out of state most of my kids’ lives and they don’t know him like they did my mom.</p>
<p>I have a feeling the worm and current g/f will settle in silicone valley or Seattle, as far from me as possible (well, in USA). I want to be an involved grandmother. See lots of travel in future. </p>
<p>Sometimes I wish I had stayed in Boston, and promoted a 200 mile radius. I like to have families close, but just not realistic.</p>
<p>We HOPE that S will eventually move back to HI, since that is where he still calls “HOME,” even though he’s lived in CA for school & on the East Coast for his job. D expects she’ll live in LA for a few more years to get experience and then she too SAYS she wants to move back to HI. Time will tell. Part of the issue is where either/both of them can get fulfilling jobs that can afford them a comfortable life. HI jobs tend to not pay very well and cost of living is very high.</p>
<p>I went to school at night while working full time, already moved out of my mom’s house. We were both too busy trying to make ends meet I might as well have been 1,000 miles away from home. My DH went to school 1,000 miles away from home and came back to find work, where we met. The first three years of our marriage was difficult as nearly every weekend was monopolized by family obligations and we were never considered a ‘family’ in our own right, simply and extension of his parents. This, despite both working professional jobs, two kids, and owning our own home. </p>
<p>The single BEST thing we ever did for our marriage was moving three states away for five years. It was too far to go for a single night and much of the winter the mountain roads were covered with black ice and snow. We were finally able to breathe, establish our own traditions, grow together, make friends our own age, etc. We did end up back in the area due to job advancement and knew we would be here until retirement from this career. That five years made all the difference.</p>
<p>Your kids need space. Giving them the ability to leave the area they grew up in and navigate a new life, new friends, without being constantly tethered to home base is a gift they need. I can’t really speak to moving to where they are once they settle in a new area. I’d just give the caveat that perhaps a few years space for a newly married couple is appropriate.</p>
<p>Yes, it is MUCH easier to travel and communicate than years ago. But there is something nice about having grandparents nearby. We’ve had it both ways. The kids are close to all the grandparents, but close proximity is nicer.</p>
<p>It isn’t the distance that makes it hard to have family living all over. It is the time zones. </p>
<p>My family is on the west coast, I live in the east coast. So at 8 am, I would love to call my mom but she is asleep. And when she calls me at 7p her time to chat, it is 10p where I am so I am winding down and less talkative.</p>
<p>That being said, it is great if long before college, young people have traveled some and have a sense that the world is different away from their local neighborhood.</p>