One of the cardinal rules I’ve always had with my children and helping with homework is that I will show them the methodology that works, but they must fight the internal struggle to learn the “how”.
I’ve two children, a son, older, and a daughter now in high school. Seven years apart. The son was a struggle. Always fighting at math, wanting me to show him “the answer”. I might do it with the first problem of a new type, but after that, I had a strict “you do it now” policy. Parents need to remember that teaching someone to fish is more efficient in the long run than giving them the short term satisfaction of the fish. Eventually we clashed due to this dynamic, and I simply told him he was on his own. If a child won’t listen, sometimes learning the hard way is how it happens. This attitude set him back a little in college and he struggled with a key math course he needed for graduation. He has since begun to look at things a bit more seriously, however, at 22 he wants to party too much, IMO. I can’t complain though, he’ll be graduating in December.
It can be difficult to watch your offspring struggle, but without that, your children are less likely to mature and do the work later. Also keep in mind that many don’t have the vision to look at where they want to be 20 years from now. That is normal, and subsides as they mature. You won’t be there when they start working and the boss asks for the Foster report tomorrow. Struggling, while painful to watch, is sometimes the only way to learn.
My daughter has been completely different. She does her homework without any struggle and without me riding her case. I think girls mature faster as well, so that has helped.