Hi,
How much are you involved in your daughters/sons in their homework on daily basis?
Thank you for your insight.
Not one bit. Not at all 9-12. Very little in middle school.
Zero, unless asked to help (very occasionally math, econ or proofreading). Even my 5th grader is learning to do homework with very little supervision.
One kid, never. The other kid, well, even our “involvement” didn’t help.
Ours stopped taking help before elementary school ended. They worked it out with trial and error method, middle school is a great time to make mistakes and develop these skills without any worries about GPA. It really helped them become independent learners and that paid off big time in high school. I don’t believe in forced spoon feeding, that only leads to eating disorders.
As much as they need, by request. If they need proof reading, or a are stuck in something, one of us will help. Since we both have taught, we know how to help her without doing her homework for her. By 9-12, and even during middle school, she would get more or less the same type of help that a student would get during office hours.
For example, my wife has been teaching CS and math for decades, and our D often found it easier to understand her mother’s explanations than the teacher’s. But she’s then on her own when she needs to translate what she learned to the actual homework questions.
If you help your kid too much on their homework, in order that they get an A, you are likely also helping them get a D on their exam.
None. Not even privy to what homework he had. Independent son. Like the above comment about too much help.
On a daily basis? None. 1st grade at the kids’ school was ridiculous. Second grade was easy compared to first. That was the year we made it clear that school was their responsibility. I would look through their folders and work on a nightly basis because I was interested, but it was their job to make sure it was all done and I had signed everything.
But I would help with projects and studying in elementary school. That gradually whittled down to editing important papers and an occasional question/help with homework. Maybe 1-2xyear. And I stopped looking at their stuff regularly maybe in middle school? It’s hard to remember exactly.
Edit - and no questions after 9pm for something due the next day, unless you want to see me very angry. My brain shuts down then. I never pulled an all nighter in college! And they should not have procrastinated
I help him figure out that the printer is out of paper once in a while. That’s it. His coaches follow progress book to make sure none of his teammates are dangling near ineligibility, so they know more than I do, generally.
I proofread essays for grammar and typos, and I’ll let them know if they need to fix something. I’ll say something like “this sentence doesn’t work - you need to rewrite it” or “I don’t think that conveys what you’re trying to say.” Then they go figure it out and fix it.
I help with time management too, meaning that I’ll ask once or twice a week if everything is going okay and if we need to rearrange the family schedule to accommodate longer-than-expected assignments.
If they asked a question, I would try to answer it…but beyond that…no involvement with homework after 2nd grade.
The third grade teacher told us…she needed the students to do the homework without assistance. Otherwise, she would not know what the student understood, or not. She didn’t want the parent version of homework, or revisions based on the parents.
She did say…”ask your student to check their homework.”
In fairness, if we could have offered any genuinely useful help with calculus, we would have, but that ship sailed 25+ years ago. 
The only homework help we offer is making sure there are plenty of things in the house he can eat, occasionally asking him if he’s checked the online hw management portal, and as somebody said upthread, making sure there’s printer ink and paper. Oh, and batteries for the TI-whatever. And functioning wifi.
(I’m 100% fine with proofreading, but the one still in h.s. doesn’t ask for it, though his older sibs occasionally did.)
I don’t think it’s unusual for middle schoolers to get distracted or to like some subjects better than others. But kids are different. Eying the Ivies for a high stats older child who’s willing to put in the work doesn’t mean that’s the right path for a younger sibling. A kid who isn’t doing the minimum bears watching no matter what schools you’re aiming for. Does he do well in the subjects he likes? Is it a phase or are there signs of a learning disorder?
You’re going to get better responses in both your threads if you clarify your question. What’s the goal of an online school? Being allowed to take classes that interest him won’t excuse your son from taking the subjects colleges require for admission. For selective universities that means 4 years of English, social studies, and science, and 3-4 of math and foreign language. But without knowing much about the struggles you’re facing it’s difficult to offer advice.
I assign it and I grade it, and I occasionally put on my mom hat and proofread it.
Kids never asked for help beyond elementary.
With #1 she would occasionally ask us to quiz her on the stacks of flash cards she would make for APUSH or AP Euro to help her remember all the terms. Nothing else that I can remember.
With #'2 there is no help at all except calling down to the basement at midnight that he has 15 minutes left and he has to go to bed finished or not. House rule for him on regular nights is in room by 12:30 but he typically misses that and we are good if he is upstairs by 1:00. This is only because I am a light sleeper and I don’t sleep if he’s milling around downstairs making noise. Too much time with ECs and too much homework jr year means not enough hours in the day. We are all up by 6and I am too old to get by on such little sleep and still keep all the other balls in the air at work and at home.
Not much homework help in early years, but then had to (try) to help during common core roll out years between 5-8th, then not much help during hs. We did do reminders to get assignments done earlier rather than later.
The goal is to have an independent learner who is able to time manage, complete assignments on time and turn them in, and to know when to seek help when they need it and where to get it. These are all skills your son will need to be a successful college student.
No one is going to be involved on a daily basis with homework…unless the student seeks tutorial services. And even then, it’s very unlikely that this will be on a daily basis unless there is some very specialized college or your student has significant accommodations set up by the disability office (even then, your kid will need to be a good self advocate).
You certainly can answer questions if asked by your son. But he needs to know how to seek assistance from his teachers. When do they have after school study hours? Can he seek help during a study hall? What does the teacher do in terms of helping those who have homework difficulties!
What sort of homework help were you thinking you needed to provide to your son? If you think you are providing to much…or too little…ask the teachers at his school. They will tell you.
Where I live and worked, students were expected to manage their homework assignments without much help from parents. The help could be there for questions, or proofreading. But beyond that…just make sure your kid has a quiet place to do his work. If you are concerned he will be gaming or surfing the net, maybe your homework spot should be the kitchen table while you are preparing dinner. But really…how will that make him an independent and responsible learner…which he will need to be in college. You won’t be able to help him there.
Almost none. Pretty much just proof reading if needed or listening to presentations and giving feedback.
Helped both as freshmen, mostly quizzing for test review. Helped dyslexic and dysgraphic son more when he wrote essays, but haven’t been asked for the last two years.
Hubby is math guy, occasionally gets asked for help.