<p>In answer to your most recent question I would say no, don't move your child out of the school she's happy in, especially if it means a financial sacrifice, unless the public school is dangerous or incapable of private a decent education. As far as finding out about great colleges for her, you can do that research very well on your own via the various guidebooks, videos, and visits to nearby schools. As far as the high school experience, if your daughter is happy and doing well, that will be a great help both in terms of college admission and in terms of doing well in life generally. I agree with the first few posters who answered your first query; there's no single right anwer to whether it is better to come out of a good prep school or a good public school; the key is to get a good education so that you don't struggle in college, but it is also important to have a life beyond the classsroomn--ECs, friends, sense of place.</p>
<p>My perspective is shaped by our family's experience. We live in a district whose schools get mixed reviews--the top is considered pretty elite but funding is not great and opportunites for kids who don't get into the advanced track are often perceived to be compromised. Not having sent either child to the public middle school or high school it is hard for me to say if they would have done well in the public school but I suspect at least one of them woud have. Instead, both our children attended a well-regarded independent (as non-religiously affiliated private schools are called in our area) school that most colleges are fairly familiar with. Both did well in this high school--they were very good to excellent students in terms of both GPA and standardized tests and mostly had very good teachers. My son found a niche to display his creative talents, and my daughter found ways for her personality to shine. </p>
<p>The college guidance was indeed very good in terms of alerting parents when to schedule standardized tests, when to plan college visits, how to structure a list so it contained schools with various levels of what they called admissibility (that is, reach, match, safety), and occasionally providing insights into schools kids might not have thought of applying to. There are always four college counselors (two full-time andn two who also teach regular classes but have time built into their schedules to serve as college counselors for a senior class that mumbers between 120 and 130 each year. In that sense, the process was probably superior to what our public school would have offered. MY children received very good educations and were well prepared for attending rigorous colleges. I do not think, however, that they necessarily had a better background than kids from widely recognized good public schools, or than kids from the top track at our local public school. But certainly the college app process was well explained to both paretns and students, the counselors were generally available to the students, feedback on essays and interview techniques was widely available from both the counselors and the English teachers, and paperwork was handled extremely efficiently by a very nice departmental secretary.</p>
<p>The school does pretty well with college admissions but not as well in the last few years as it used to; that may be because personal ties between the college counseling office and some of the top schools are not what they were, or it may be that the school's students, though quite diverse ethnically, aren't offering the kind of socioeconomic,
geographical, or other diversity that colleges are increasingly looking for. But it still has quite a good track record. The success relates in part to the fact that the students really are well prepared academically and are encouraged to get involved in ECs and sports. But it also is tied to the reality that some families are really wealthy or well connected and those applications may very well get special consideration. I believe, now that I have been through two admissions cycles, that the favorable college admissions figures for private schools owe quite a lot to the athletic/wealth/connection factor as well as to academic preparation. My own children got into multiple excellent schools; one gaduated from his top choice and the other attends what I would characterize as a surprise good fit, a top ten school that would not have been on the list except for the college counselor's suggestion). But they mght very well have done as well coming out of the local school, assuming they had thrived at that school, which we will of course never know. </p>
<p>Regarding that issue of going to school with rich kids when you are not rich: I think that's a tricky one and depends very much on how your family sees itself and relates to people, and maybe to the degree of disparity there is. We are, I guess, at least upper-middle-income and well educated (multiple degrees), so we have the right credentials though not lots of money. However, at their school my children were certainly among the middle-middles or even lower-middles in terms of lifestyle (scholarship kids aside, and there are relatively few at this particular school--maybe 10 percent of each class). There will always be some snobs, whether in a private or a public setting, but in our case, after the first year or two, it was not a major issue. Not being one of the rich kids did not keep my children them from making friends and having a good experience at school, nor were they deprived of leadership opportunities (at least not many that I know of). However, going to private school did isolate them from our rather distinctive community, and it gave them a skewed idea of how people live, a sense that "everyone" has a beach house or a mountain house, flies away on skiing vacations at Christmas and warm-weather vacations over March break (athletics permitting); I regret that that and I think maybe they do as well. </p>
<p>My older child looks back on it in rather scornful wonder now, but acknowledges that the school gave him opportunites that might very well not have been available in public school. He is a rather specialized case and might not have flourished for the first couple of years of high school if not given a particular opportunity to do so. My younger child benefited from some lovely invitations to ski and beach houses from richer friends and we were comfortable with accepting them, knowing that real friendship was the basis for them. Also, I suppose another reason it more or less worked for our family is because--and this is cynical but a real factor--we were affluent enough to provide the same kidn of clothes other kids were wearing, though not in as large quantity or as many variations. Thanks in part to grandparent assistance, both children had safe, new, but not superexpensive cars to drive to school once they got their licenses. Our house and neighborhood are nice by normal standards. The fact that we don't an incredible rec room, five acres, and a pool meant that my chidlren spent more time at other people's houses than at ours, but since I knew the families, I felt that was fine. Most important, both children were recognized at school as kids who were contributing to the school community in various ways--good students, active in various activities, rather distinctive in personality and generally constructive. Frankly, I always felt that although we weren't contributing to the annual fund at the levels some parents were, my chidlren were helping to make the school the kind of place those parents wanted their children to attend. And keeping moderately active in the parent's association helps, too.</p>
<p>In reading what I have written I think it sounds like a success story that suggests one should go the private schol route but I don't actually mean it that way. I don't regret the money spent on tuition because I feel both children blossomed; I do somewhat regret that because of the cost of tuition we did not go on as many large-scale family trips as we might otherwise have done and all of us missed out on the enriching experience that would have been (though we did make a couple of March break trips to Europe when fares were low and terrorists were only something you read about). But if I were doing it again I am not sure I would be so quick to choose private school. I might move to a town with a more consistently admired schol system, or I might have a little more faith in my children and at least experiment with the public schools before sending them to private school. if you do continue to consider private school, try to get a good sense of the social aspect before you do it. Edcucationally it probably is a plus, but in terms of college admissions and life skills there may be more variables.</p>