<p>This is really an individual and family decision to make. It depends on the school and what it offers over other choices. It depends on your daughter. As many others have pointed out, it is highly unlikely that she will be offered that much in loans without you cosigning, and then it becomes YOUR financial decision. If she can get a loan of the amount she needs on her own and decides to take it, if she is legally an adult, that is her decision. You can give her your opinons and the straight financial facts about such loans. You can refuse to pay anything or disown her, but that is going too far, in my opinion.</p>
<p>I certainly wouldn’t want my daughter to marry the guy in the article dumb enough to have borrowed $150K for a marketing degree from BU. The poor judgement possessed by him and the cosigner, most likely his parent’s, is enough to make me and hopefully her run.</p>
<p>I think there are some degrees it’s worth significant borrowing for. If one of my kids wanted me to cosign for $80K for a Wharton degree I’d probably do it. If they wanted to be an English major at Penn I probably would not.</p>
<p>@ blossom:</p>
<p>Agree with you completely here. My H chose to take out loans to pay for college and law school. My in-laws had the money, heaven knows, but he didn’t feel that his post-secondary education was their financial problem. Took him 15 years to pay it all off, but he did it.</p>
<p>In the case of our daughters, they’ll have to take out loans. However, we have a deal with them: in addition to an extraordinarily generous union pension that H will receive upon retirement (guaranteed despite shifts in the economy), we have a 457 plan that has all the money that the girls will need for college. However, we can’t touch the money until H retires, which will be anywhere between five and ten years from now. Once H retires, we have instructed the girls to give us their loan books and we will take over the payments for them. I estimate that I’ll still be working at that time, as I operate my practice from home and set my own hours.</p>
<p>There are worse spouses that your kids can marry than someone with excess college loans, believe me.</p>
<p>In case of our DD we are going to pay $50K for MIT but we think we can afford it. If we couldn’t we would have asked DD to pick Olin (with no Tuition) or Rice with $25K merit money or UC B (Regents/Alumni) over MIT.</p>
<p>MIT is absolutely better than other college when it comes to engineering but is it worth $100K in student loans?</p>
<p>We would like our DD to understand that people with that much of student loan will be stressed and will make wrong decisions in their future life too. So she might be better off looking for some one who is smart enough to realize that.</p>
<p>ParentofIvy- there are guys from my son’s fraternity at MIT who retired at 35 after taking their bio-med company public. They travel, volunteer and teach, write, serve on the boards of other companies, mentor younger professionals, and manage their investments.</p>
<p>I don’t know how stressed they are. Lucky- for sure. Smart and creative? absolutely. Shrewd when it came time to choosing a VC fund to sponsor them? No question. But stressed about paying off college loans after retiring in their 30’s?? I really doubt it.</p>
<p>If it is your loans, that’s fine. If hers, no way.</p>
<p>“Do we allow our daughter to take on large student loans?”</p>
<p>No. Been there, done that. It is not an experience we want to pass on to our children. </p>
<p>What loans that are being taken on are relatively modest, and we will pay them for her. Her responsibility, in turn, is to buy her books and incidentals, study hard and pay her own way through graduate or veterinarian school.</p>
<p>I agree with Oldfort, also. I don’t want my daughter going into marriage with the burden of a big debt. The ONLY exception I could see would be debt for medical school.</p>
<p>I’ve seen my sister struggle for almost 10 years paying off loans that her husband took out. It’s been horrible. </p>
<p>I’m not saying it means a person is “bad,” it’s just that marriage is hard enough without having a big obstacle at the starting gate.</p>
<p>I like the system for student loans that BC had and W carried it to fruition. Loved it when W said to borrow big at 2% interest, variable. </p>
<p>BTW are we talking WMD’s or something else?</p>
<p>I am very fortunate that my S will graduate debt-free due to full-ride offer to his 2nd choice school. He turned down other scholarship offers because they didn’t cover enough of his college expenses. My S and I totally agree with oldfort. When my S read this thread he said, “Why should I work to pay off someone else’s loan?” We both agree that a small loan is reasonable and recognize that he got VERY lucky with his scholarship offer. </p>
<p>It sounds like you are very worried about the large debt your DD is willing to take on to attend her dream school. Listen to your instincts. They seem to be telling you that you need to step in here and guide your daughter toward a more realistic budget for both you and herself. </p>
<p>Why would she want to work after college just to pay off her college debt? Don’t we want our kids to go to college so they can avoid having to live in debt like so many Americans? It’s an expensive country to live in, and our kids have a chance to start their adult lives on one of the upper rungs. Seems like a huge college debt will spoil that advantage.</p>
<p>Interesting debate. My d is analytical, dedicated and motivated. She’s worked very hard in hs and is focused on her goal. She picked a more expensive private u than most. She is passing up several partial scholarship offers from other universities. We can’t quite afford it, but will work together. I have no hesitation in her taking out Stafford loans, doing work study, working summers, etc. She will be going to her “dream” school and earning a valuable, marketable degree. </p>
<p>This decision is relative to each family and individual student. I believe college is an important life experience and transition into adulthoold. I wouldn’t want her to go to a school she didn’t want to go to. But she will learn if you want something enough, then you work for it and can make it happen. We will help her. Likely we’ll all have some debt, but it’s worth it to us. (I married my husband with an outstanding student loan for his MBA…He’s a very smart & successful guy 
My d reminds me of him.</p>
<p>DD graduated with no debt, and we were able to afford Rice U with good financial aid. That flexibility (and a Rice post-grad scholarship ;)) has allowed her to study and volunteer abroad. That would not have been possible if she had the pressure of paying off student loans. DS will graduate with about $8000 in loans if the fed government keeps funding the Byrd scholarships. I’m comfortable with up to about $15,000 for him, since he is in engineering. Anything over $25,000 for undergrad is a big no in my mind.</p>
<p>We are lucky to be a no loan,no debt family. D1 is currently a junior. She has a nice academic award at a private LAC. She works summers and at school. D2 will be going on full scholarships (Athletic and academic) to an OOS public in the fall. I have to admit I would counsel both to be aware of debt situation with a significant other. H and I have been married almost 30 years and the only loan we have had is our mortgage. I wouldn’t discourage relationship but I would strongly urge them to discuss and perhaps keep finances separate. Of course I might have different views due to background of divorced parents with big family. I have seen what debt can do to relationships/family!</p>
<p>blossom #20 said:
Parents “want their kids at the cheapest school possible regardless of the kid’s potential.”
The price of a school has nothing to do with a student’s potential! That is exactly the point you are missing in this discussion. Paying high $$$$ for certain schools does not create potential (other than for bankruptcy court!).</p>
<p>Here’s a related question:</p>
<p>What if you didn’t save much for your student’s college (say, because you were home with a younger child) but now plan to go back to work (moderately lucrative profession) and divert a % of income to student’s tuition (i.e paying off student’s loan for them, in part, as they go)?</p>
<p>It might look bad on the face of it (taking out $20k a year in debt for 4 years!!!) but, if I had saved $50k in son’s 529 while working prior to his starting college, it would be only, say, $10k a year ($40k…more reasonable).</p>
<p>So–although you never know what the future holds—if a parent chose to make their contribution concurrent to the student’s education, instead of prior, as many of those who’ve posted have done – I’d think that would make the inital, projected debt figure less exhorbitant-sounding.</p>
<p>Not to highjack the thread, but that’s our plan [if we go that route, and there might be other reasons not to] – just hoping it wouldn’t seem like such a mistake as most of the above posters have said…</p>
<p>PS No offense to anyone holding any view on either side of this issue!!!</p>
<p>I’m glad I didn’t follow Oldfort’s advice. My wife pretty much put herself through college with loans, grants, scholarships, work-study, summer employment. She would not have attended that college (or, perhaps, any college) without those sources. We met at college and married soon after graduation. She and I paid those loans back over the first 10 years of our marriage. Best investment I ever made - 24 years and counting with the most wonderful wife and two fantastic children!</p>
<p>What I don’t get is why/how you tell your child who to date…that disturbs me as much as the loans… :(</p>
<p>RECOMMEND they don’t date…that’s one thing. TELL or LET them decide who to date…yikes.</p>
<p>Jolynne - it sounds reasonable for a parent to do, but not for a kid to try to do that. $80,000 for a kid - a big “no”. For a parent with income stability, other assets, working spouse, no other debts besides maybe a mortgage; doable. But only if retirement savings or fixed pensions are in place, or still being contributed to.</p>
<p>Really, anxiousmom? That makes me feel somewhat better (although, at this point, even us taking out the loans is an open question/more doubtful, right now). I kept hearing that $80k was astronomical, but that was in the ball park of what one school option would be. Just hoping that if I ‘paid as we went’ that it would be much, much less than $80k at graduation.</p>