<p>I agree that taking on a lot of college debt isn’t the best idea. However, the idea that a parent of an adult thinks they in any way can dictate who that adult can fall in love with and decide to marry is ludicrous to me.</p>
<p>Hmmm…I seem to remember an old thread where we discussed taking on the burden of debt of a possible life partner. It was very interesting. Anyone remember it?</p>
<p>Cpelz, parents have been doing doing this from the beginning of time. Not always effective, sometimes damaging, but it’s the way of the world.</p>
<p>Oops, I did leave out the fact that yes we would be ‘co-signing’ the loan for her and I am willing to help her w/ her monthly payments to the best of my ability. My ex (her father) however, does not agree with me at all. The link to the article gave me mixed emotions. I found the boys comments at the end interesting - he tried going to a local state college but missed BU’s environment and said it was worth it even though he is struggling. My daughter wants to be in this environment. My Ex is demanding that she go to a school that gave her a substantial merit scholarship even though she did NOT like the school at all (honestly, I cannot see her there either). I totally understand the debt thing since I have no credit card debt and only a mortgage and have always taught my kids to pay cash for anything - that credit cards are an easy way to get yourself in to trouble. </p>
<p>What to do, what to do???</p>
<p>I would allow my daughters to take the maximum Stafford loan. I would not be willing to co-sign for loans because I do not want them (or DH and me) to be burdened by debt in the future. We’ve discussed this enough that it’s unlikely that D#1 will end up in a situation where her choices are a school with merit aid that isn’t right for her and a school that will require big debt. We’re diligently looking for schools where she’d fit and be happy that are at all ends of the financial range.</p>
<p>Is she planning to study something leading to a high paying job?</p>
<p>OP, here’s a compromise suggestion. If people see obvious holes in it, fine, but I want to put something out there that acknowledges reality without completely shooting down the student’s chance to attend her dream school.</p>
<p>Let her go (i.e. co-sign her loan) for the first year, with the expectation, <em>stated up front</em>, that she needs to find non-loan sources of funding to cover half of the remaining 60K that you can’t pay (through part-time work during term, summer jobs, and external scholarships), or you will not co-sign the loans in the future. This means that after the first year, she’s taking out loans of 10K instead of 20K and finishes with 50K of debt instead of 80K, which is a big difference.</p>
<p>Another idea: Does this school have ROTC? Is she eligible for military service? Is there still time to get scholarships? A ROTC scholarship would pay her way; she wouldn’t need loans at all and she’d have a guaranteed job afterward. If it’s too late for this year, I think many ROTC programs have 2 or 3-year scholarship options, which would still lower the debt that she’s looking at by a huge amount.</p>