<p>Do you have a say for your sons/daughters major for college? Do you "force" your son or daughter to do this major or you with not not pay for it or something of that nature?
My parents are "forcing" me to go into engineering (mechanical, although I SUCK at physics), but I like business and the aspects of it, specifically accounting. The reason why I want to go into accounting is for job security, but they don't realize it. They also think that accounting is for low life and is not respected highly in our "world" (meaning what people will think of me as a person, its hard to explain and kinda of a Indian thing). The money is also good too. Engineering has some age discrimination for older people. So if I do get laid off when I'm in my 50s, I won't be able to get a job in my field.
Thoughts?</p>
<p>We gave our son parameters :
- You WILL go to college.
- This is what we can afford and help you with. Beyond that will be your personal debt.
- You will be expected to be able to get a job and support yourself with whatever you chose to major in. </p>
<p>My son is so much smarter than I am, and has so many more opportunities then I did at his age, I am honestly not “qualified” to choose a major for him! LOL I do talk to him about what he would like to do, what he is interested in, and how he can achieve it. I help him research colleges as well, and scholarships. So I guess I play more of a supporting role than a director.</p>
<p>No. I don’t believe in telling anyone what they must study. But as vlines, we expect our son to get a job and support himself after college/grad school.</p>
<p>I would never force a major on my offspring. I will certainly offer an opinion if I think he’s heading into a direction that needs more consideration than he gives it. But the choice–and the consequences–will be his. I promised him the college education. I believed that to be my responsibility as the parent, and the one who brought him into the world by choice. He promised me his best efforts in school and as a human being. Our obligations are to love and respect each other. But I do not dictate his choices in this regard–as long as his choices are legal and moral, its all good. If something falls into the illegal or the immoral, then…well, all bets are off and we’ll have quite the conversation. But have that level of intensity over choice of a major? Nah.</p>
<p>My Dad steered me in the direction of my major when young (and did a good job of it) but I’m sure if I’d had a clear direction of what I wanted to do he would have supported me.
My D knew what she wanted and I helped research the field and career opportunities.
My S doesn’t know for sure yet what he wants, but I will support him whatever direction he heads. I’m just so sure he’ll do well whatever he decides.
After talking to SO many people about career choices, I am totally convinced that you HAVE to like what you’re doing. If you don’t like what you start in, the chances of mid-life career change is very high.
So I support, but also say–you’ll need a JOB at the end of this endeavor!</p>
<p>I have definitely not pushed a major on my S, nor will I on my other 3 kids when they head off to college. My Dad was well meaning, but I felt strongly pushed into my own major in undergrad. If I had to do it over again, I would have chosen something else and do sometimes still feel a bit of resentment (I’m 43!). It took me 10 years before I was able to head back to grad school and finish a degree in something I truly loved (was busy raising small children). I hope you will be stronger then I was and major in what you will enjoy doing afterwards! :)</p>
<p>Once you’re 18, they can’t force you to do anything. They can provide a financial incentive to get you to do their bidding, but that’s it. You can get a job, move out, and go to night school for an accounting degree, if that’s what you want to do.</p>
<p>I’ve even listed all the facts for them that they make $100k after 5-6 years of experience.</p>
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<p>No. We had one criteria…graduation in four years with a GPA above 3.0.</p>
<p>Annasdad–bucking financial incentive is extremely hard. Sometimes moving out and going to night school just lands you flipping burgers for several years.</p>
<p>That being said, many people do exactly that to get to where they want to go.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine forcing a major on a child-- any more than forcing a mate on them! And why do I say child, even-- we’re talking about 18 year old adults. No one is going to do well in a career that doesn’t interest and satisfy them. I’m fairly academically minded myself and I always imagined my daughter getting a deeper and broader academic education than I did. But–she’s in love with theater, and it’s a love that has just grown through the last ten years. So-- she will be studying theater. Not a famously well-paid field! But her love of theater is the lens she sees the world through-- and so that’s the path she’ll follow through life. I think she’s lucky to have this passion-- plenty of people never find anything that means that much to them. Why would I push her into…engineering, or medicine, or…? She should do what she loves, to the best of her ability. </p>
<p>Young people have a much better sense of their world and what it may become than we do. So I think they’re actually likely to choose more lucrative fields for themselves. We’re operating on outdated information. How many of us studied computer science in college? Yet that’s where the jobs are now.</p>
<p>I think people want to be independent-- I know D is already-- she will be when she graduates too. I’m sure she’ll spend some time waiting tables, and I doubt she’ll be living in a big apartment etc…not for a long time. But she’s young, she’ll be following her own vision, and she’ll get…one place or another. I can’t imagine hobbling her by forcing her into some “more practical” field. </p>
<p>eeek, off the soapbox now!</p>
<p>I can’t imagine forcing a major on my kids. One was a computer science whiz and has known since he was 8 what he wanted to do when he grew up. The other one was much more unsure, but got interested in International Relations as he was applying to college. I know better than to make him do engineering - it is not his strength at all!</p>
<p>I don’t really have good advice for you, as long as your parents are holding the purse strings they probably can refuse to pay for a more reasonable course of study. I’d keep working at changing their mind and take as many business courses and as few engineering courses as you can.</p>
<p>I will say that I’ve heard more about parents discouraging the arts as career versus any of the technical fields. I can more understand the “don’t go into painting” than “don’t go into accounting over engineering”.</p>
<p>I have not pushed a major onto my daughter. I know she realizes that she needs to be able to get a job afterward. I tell her to follow her Passion…I didn’t and while I have job security with decent wages, I don’t love what I do at all right now! </p>
<p>I am worried that because of the economy, we will see many abandon their dreams for “practical” majors. My daughter is thinking about medicine for this reason.</p>
<p>I say do what you love.</p>
<p>Just an FYI…just because a student majors in engineering does not guarantee they will seek employment in that field (speaking from experience…have one kid with a degree in engineering who will likely never work as an engineer).</p>
<p>We had the same criteria as Thumper - 4 years and at least a 3.0. What they major in is up to the kids.</p>
<p>I have a friend whose parents told him they would pay for him to get a degree in Creative Writing. But only after he got a degree in Physics. They thought they’d wear him down but no-- he got the physics degree, then the creative writing degree. He’s been a very successful writer and teaches at a university we’d be happy to see our kids attend. You could try that route though it does demand a lot of patience!</p>
<p>Thumper–did they want to do something else?</p>
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<p>Yes this is what I am saying. It’s not like I am majoring in something that doesn’t make a whole lot of money and only a few percentage will make the top dollar. I am majoring in something that many people can do and yet make a great salary!</p>
<p>Fairfax–that’s the case I usually hear. The nurse who now runs the art studio (her life-long passion), the computer scientist doing beading and needle work (another life-long passion).
Guess what else? An aeronautical engineer who loved planes since the age of 5–a real live rocket scientist. An artist since age 3–successful artist. The total bookworm–happiest librarian ever.</p>