<p>She’s already done internships, and will continue to do so during her college years. She does not want a big “career.” She wants to be able to pay rent, and continue to dance on the side. Many dancers teach yoga or get into other “wellness” jobs (which, yes, don’t require a BA). She has minimal debt, or she would be at community college. She is enjoying varied liberal arts, art and dance classes.</p>
<p>Many people live this way in their twenties, and it can work out. Life doesn’t have to be planned at every step along the way.</p>
<p>Count me in as another who couldn’t imagine telling my kids what to major in. That said, if one of them had chosen, in this economic climate, a major like Ancient Mediterranean Civilizations, I might have gently reminded them that after college they are responsible for their own financial needs, and to consider their long term employment options.</p>
<p>I would never think of forcing a major on either of our kids. S1 is a poli sci major and he absolutely loves it. I do sometimes wonder what he will do with it. But really it’s none of my business. A major part of a person’s journey into adulthood is hopefully doing what you are passionate about, and then taking what you’ve learned through instruction and training to another level (i.e. grad school and/or job). This journey is what makes you a whole person. And if you are missing the passion for a particular field from the start – that just seems like a sad waste of time!</p>
<p>Our DD is full freight at an ivy, and although we would never tell her what to major in, we have all along reminded her that we can manage only four years, and after that she’s on her own. She has had two internships so far and has another lined up for this fall, so that’ll help with her future job prospects (we hope)!</p>
<p>My GC isn’t very helpful in that sense. She just does the minimal stuff and not much after that. I don’t think my parents’ friends will either be able to help in this because they probably have the same opinion as them. Personally, yes, I think its all about prestige. I’m not that smart, but I’m average. I don’t know what to do. I guess I will just minor in accounting or economics and not tell them…</p>
<p>I don’t think I would have intervened unless one of my kids announced the intention of majoring in something for which he/she was poorly qualified. For example, I might have done this if my son, who plays multiple instruments but is not an outstanding musician, had announced the intention to major in music. And in that instance, I think that instead of trying to prevent it, I would have insisted that he take the prerequisites for a backup major as well.</p>
<p>My kids chose majors on their own initiative that were likely to qualify them for jobs. I think a lot of kids in this generation do. My son, who majored in computer science, told me at one point that he found some philosophy electives that he had taken to be very interesting, but that he would not consider majoring in philosophy because there was no obvious career path for that major. He did complete a philosophy minor, though.</p>
<p>It’s interesting that the OP is not asking about the possibility of majoring in something like philosophy – he’s just talking about choosing one career-oriented major rather than another. I think most of the parents here, unlike the OP’s parents, would have no problem with this unless the student was a poor fit for the major. This thread had drifted into much consideration of liberal arts majors, but that’s not what the OP was asking about.</p>
<p>I think that a “forced major” is a huge mistake. I have a friend who has been unhappy in her career for 30 years (she is an RN), but her father insisted that she major in nursing. I also know a person who flunked out of school after a year and then later returned in another major, graduated and has had a career he has enjoyed very much (and he has made a lot of money, too). Recently found out that he was forced to major in engineering the first time.</p>
<p>Forcing a major on a child is a bad idea. This was a somewhat common practice among many high school classmates. While no one flunked or did poorly in college as a result, most have already changed careers or are so miserable some like a friend who is an MD are even having emotional breakdowns because they are really living their parents’ lives…not their own. </p>
<p>Also, majoring in something mostly or solely for monetary/careerist reasons could be a huge mistake. One person I dated for some months went into Pharmacy because there is a direct route to a career without seriously assessing whether it was right for her or not. Though she has been employed at the same hospital for 12 years, she’s miserable and when the subject turns to her work…she can go on a rant lasting a few hours about the tedium and regrets about not pursuing an Arts & Sciences major instead.</p>
<p>In my own experience, I did have an RN aunt who insisted I consider majoring as a pre-med even though I had no interest in a medical career. My retorting back that I’ll do so as soon as she not only paid for all my med school expenses, but also any malpractice suits which will inevitably result shut her right up! :D</p>
<p>Parents should have a good understanding of what their children are (a) capable of doing and (b) interested in doing. Between these two any intelligent parent and child ought to divine the answer.</p>
<p>DD1 was easy - arts all the way, so after a few tactical electives in our well-stocked high school (AutoCAD 3D, building a house from scratch, 4 or 5 year-long studio art courses) and some more tactical vacations to art and architecture rich places, choosing architecture was a no brainer. How many HS seniors can debate the relative benefits of Staedtler vs Faber-Castell? (we mail order Staedtler and knew we found the right college when the college bookstore was loaded with Staedtler :-))</p>
<p>For DD2 is far more difficult - her (Asian, naturally) mom insists on medicine but DD2 seems to have no ‘naturals’ that would make her a great doctor. She’s a 4.0 student thru middle school (and largely without studying much) but her interest is more law, with an eye towards a judicial or other federal type job. We both know she’s not the engineer type, but since she excels in math and science anyway… A lot more difficult choice.</p>
<p>My father (who is in his mid 70’s) tells of how his mother insisted he major in physics. He lasted 2 weeks and met with his advisor, who was also his physics prof. The advisor said “who are we kidding?” My dad transferred to the major of his choice and that was that.</p>
<p>We were a bit sneakier in projecting our interests. All the way from pre-K we spent a lot of time in math and science projects and contests. All three on their own decided to follow tracks that’s in synch with what DW & I would have wished for.</p>
<p>Would we have pushed them to go to a specific field? Absolutely not. However, equally certain, we wouldn’t have paid for degrees in private schools in disciplines that we don’t care for, like if DD decided she wanted to major in Asian/womens studies.</p>
<p>We told our kids that we were not going to shell out $20 - 50K per year for what is essentially a continuation of high school. By this we mean an unfocused continuation in liberal arts. For us, we have to make alot of scrifices and we do not believe that a liberal arts education today is the way to go (I realize that this is a contorversial statement but that is what our family has concluded - so please don’t flame me. To each his own.) </p>
<p>We really don’t care what they choose but we asked them to pick a major where they could secure a job upon graduation. So if they chose to study languages, we asked them to double major in teaching or journalism. If they chose art, then we asked them to a dual major or major/minor in business or teaching.</p>
<p>Given the exorbitant costs of education as well as the current economic climate, we don’t believe it makes sense for our family to make sacrifices to provide for an “unfocused” education. We are not asking our children to make final career decisions but we did ask them by the time they were 18 to try a lot of things and do enough self reflection to know what courses they liked and didn’t like in HS and why. </p>
<p>One has always known her path but our other kid has not. But she did know herself enough to know that although she liked science, she did not want to be immersed in it. She also worked part time in a law firm and knows that law is not going to be her life’s passion and she has volunteered in a hospital and knows that she doesn’t want to pursue anything in medicine. So, even with just three HS experiences, she has a sense of what she likes and doesn’t like. Sometimes knowing what you don’t want is just as important as know what you do want. </p>
<p>She has decided to choose a broad major like business and she will not have to decide a concentration unlil junior year. With a business background, she will have opportunities to intern and hopefully find her way.</p>
<p>We required both Ds to have “employable” job skills upon graduating. </p>
<p>D1 talked a great deal about doing a BFA in painting. We said OK so long as she took a minor in something to improve her employability upon graduation–like business, graphic arts, communications, education, computer animation/programming, etc. In the end she majored in math & physics and is now in med school. </p>
<p>With D2 I only insisted she complete her minor in math since she started college only 3 courses short of having a math minor completed. Other than that she could major in whatever she chose.</p>
<p>How is this any different than forcing a major/field on someone in substance? </p>
<p>This is exactly the mentality of the many high school classmates whose parents forced them explicitly or “sneakily” into medicine, engineering, pharmacy, and law. </p>
<p>The ones who did it because of that parental led motivation ended up being miserable for it, sometimes had serious psychological problems, and were all making far less money after 10-15 years than their counterparts whose parents gave them free reign to choose their majors…even the humanities and arts majors. </p>
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<p>Unless the business major is at a well-known rigorous undergrad business program such as UPenn-Wharton, NYU-Stern, UVA-McIntire, Berkeley’s Haas, UMichigan’s Ross, etc…most HR/hiring managers IME tend to regard undergrad business major graduates with the same or lesser regard than “liberal arts” graduates. A few I’ve chatted with on our lunch breaks have said that with the exception of the above-named schools, most undergrad business programs are viewed as “liberal arts major-lite” for indecisive non-academically inclined students who wanted a “pre-professonal gloss” for their parents/resumes. A reason why they’re unlikely to hire most business majors unless they came from one of the above-named schools.</p>
<p>The deal I have with my D is that I can pick one of her courses per semester. Or at least ‘strongly suggest’ one course.</p>
<p>She is going to be an English major and she will take whole courses on ‘useless’ topics like Milton and Shakespeare. This semester she is taking Microeconomics because I said so. Well it also fulfills a distributional requirement of the school. And I also suspect she finds Econ interesting. But I like to think it is because I forced her to. Makes me feel like I have some power :)</p>
<p>Force her to take a specific major? Not a chance.</p>
<p>“Absolutely not. However, equally certain, we wouldn’t have paid for degrees in private schools in disciplines that we don’t care for, like if DD decided she wanted to major in Asian/womens studies.”
"How is this any different than forcing a major/field on someone in substance? This is exactly the mentality of the many high school classmates whose parents forced them explicitly or “sneakily” into medicine, engineering, pharmacy, and law. "</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s the same. This gives the student the option of picking a cheaper school and starting the hard process of walking the walk now, ranted than at graduation. With some kids, just saying “you are going to need to get a job” might work, but how many of us really know how this would play out? My D has definitely demonstrated a commitment to theatre and journalism, and we have paid full price at a private for her to follow that path, albeit an English major with a journalism certificate. I am also quite open to the possibility that she will not be able to support herself anytime soon after college, but she will manage. That plan would not work as well with son.</p>
<p>Someone like my son may hate medicine/biology but absolutely loves computers/engineering; on the other hand a daughter would want nothing to do with Physics or Calc, but has wanted to be with animals since elementary school. So the difference is this - it’s not “thou shalt study this one field”. We exposed them to a variety of fields we cared about since elementary school, and when the time came they themselves chose one of the twenty or so areas that we liked too. </p>
<p>On the flip side, as an example, we never took them to famous battlefields or made a big deal about any aspect of history. Similarly with art or music - it was something we enjoyed casually and if at all, it was something they did for fun, never with any intensity. If any of them has a deep-seated gene for History or Medieval Art or Politics or whatever, if/when it does see the light of day, America’s a great country - they can embark on it in their second life with what they’ve built up in their first one which, thus far, all three are enjoying.</p>
<p>My parents didn’t force a certain major on me, but they said that I had to have a plan for that major. I had to show that I had a career path based on that major and that I would graduate on time. I think that’s a good system, since it would be wasteful to invest so much money in a college education that really wouldn’t get me anywhere in life. I’m currently majoring in biochemistry and planning to go to medical school.</p>