Do you have to go to the graduation?

Student Lounge College Life
41

<p>zchryevns:
Yes, I would argue with that. Especially since the statistical evidence I’m requesting is not just who attends graduation ceremonies, but who attends because they want to and not because, as jazzpark so perfectly put it, they felt bullied into it. You cannot provide it, therefore you cannot say most believe what you believe. Terms that you can use are some and many.</p>

<p>Refusing to grant you private information about my personal life is not being defensive. It is exercising my right. In your own words: relax. Stop trying to give “facts” without verifiable evidence to support your statements.</p>

<p>jazzpark:
Excellent example. I had forgotten for a moment about the ticket issue since it has been quite some time since I was at a ceremony that was ticketed. A lot of unnecessary tension can be created just because of this potential issue and that is not fair to anyone. I really feel sorry for anyone placed in such a position :(</p>

42

<p>The only solid data I have found so far, but data nonetheless:
<a href=“http://life.iupui.edu/assessment/_Assets/docs/Commencement%20Survey%20Results.pdf[/url]”>http://life.iupui.edu/assessment/_Assets/docs/Commencement%20Survey%20Results.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>According to this survey, to which ~1,000 IUPUI students responded, approximately 83% of those who answered the survey planned on attending their commencement ceremony. Additionally, 64% thought it was at least “important” (i.e. “important” or “very important”) to attend their own commencement ceremony. So, at least at IUPUI and my own college, attending one’s own commencement ceremony due to personal belief in the importance of said ceremony does seem to be the norm.</p>

<p>I was merely asking how your parents felt about your decision and you stated that I was pushing the idea of attending your own commencement ceremony, which I was not at all. That does seem a bit defensive to me, but if I was mistaken in my observation then I apologize.</p>

<p>Again, I’m not saying there is one correct decision. I like knowing what leads to certain decisions and conclusions, which was why I was curious about your own circumstances. There were no ulterior motives.</p>

43

<p>I highly doubt many students are “bullied” into going. More than likely the majority of people go without giving a second thought to it. It’s just part of going through the motions.</p>

44

<p>You people are harsh.
Here’s the thing: if you are the only one who had anything to do with you going to college, then yeah, you should skip graduation. However, if your parents/guardians/friends supported you in any way during your college years, you should put up with graduation for their sake. As my counselor in high school pointed out, “Graduation is not for you, it’s for your family.” But you people on this board don’t need to be so rude. Maybe he/she just doesn’t understand that yet.</p>

45

<p>To clarify: this person does not have to go to graduation in any way. However, it would be a nice culminating gesture so that the people who have supported him/her can get one symbolic day of celebration. If they’d rather not go to graduation, hey, why not just go out together and get drunk? Graduation isn’t necessary, and if this person chooses not to go, it doesn’t affect any of you.</p>

46

<p>romanigypsyeyes:
You’re right. Perhaps bullied is too strong a word to use so generally. There are some in this thread who are coming off that strongly, but I have nothing to support that this is an accurate term to use outside of this thread. I will rephrase it to “feeling social pressure.”</p>

<p>zchryevns:
Yeah, that data does not answer the question I was asking. Even the importance question is not accurate enough as it does not also ask why those particular individuals feel it is important. I would also like a study that surveys more than one school. I would settle for one that covers a selection of a few schools from different areas of the country. Preferably, I would like to see samplings from all states. Ideally, I would love to see results from around the world (but more because I’m curious about social pressures in other countries ;)).</p>

<p>Okay, I see where your confusion is and why you seem to think I was being defensive. No where did I state that I thought you were trying to force me to go to my own ceremony. I only stated that it was none of your business what my family thought. I’m quite a blunt person and would have made no secret I was laughing quite hard if I actually believed you were trying to pressure me into anything. I hope things are more clear now :)</p>

<p>Anywho, the fact of the matter is is that there is no data for my question. I wish there was. However, when we’re talking about an issue that can be affected by social pressure the data is very difficult to obtain. Some may never have even stopped to think about why they think they have to attend the ceremony.</p>

<p>Perhaps it would be more clear if I gave a different example: In some families, kids are raised that college is just the next step. There is no question, you just go to college. This raises the question of are these kids going to college because they want to or are they going because they were raised that they had to? How many actually stop to question this? It’s not like a college degree automatically means success. Some are quite successful without one.</p>

<p>Social pressure is an interesting beast to study. It shapes so much of our thinking without many of us realizing it is affecting us so deeply. And yes, I fully admit I most likely suffer from social pressure on several issues myself ;). Many of us do. Social pressure dictates I wear clothes (or at least a robe/towel) to the bathroom from my dorm room. During the hotter months, I prefer to walk around my room sans pants. To adhere to social pressure, I have to don acceptable coverage before I leave my room. If it were not for social pressure, I would probably not put my pants back on.</p>

<p>In contrast, I do put on flip flops. Am I doing this for social pressure reasons like the coverage issue? This one I’m fairly sure is for purely sanitary reasons. However, there seems to be no real social pressure to wear shoes either.</p>

<p>Just some food for thought about why we do the things we do ;). I would like to make it clear that there is nothing inherently wrong with doing things because of social pressure. I just find it interesting to explore our motivations and think it should be a factor considered when attempting to assert what a majority of the population believes.</p>

<p>I hope that makes things more clear what I was discussing with you. My issue has only been with making such broad statements without clear evidence… and, of course, the few other posters (not you and certainly not everyone) in this thread making comments that are uncalled for. There is no reason to call anyone names simply because they believe differently. Thank you for at least attempting to find data to support your statement, by the way. It was an interesting read even if it was not what I was hoping/asking for :)</p>

47

<p>You are right. i would like to see all states.</p>

48

<p>it’s a personal choice if you want to go or not.
Some ceremonies are over 3 hours long and it’s understandable if some students choose not to go. Some kids go 2 or 3 years at one college and graduate at a different one and don’t feel so excited about the ceremony as they didn’t spend all 4 years at the one uni (that happened to a few people I know).</p>

<p>If your parents really want you to go to the ceremony than don’t argue and just go. But if it’s up to you and you really don’t want to go for whatever reason you choose then go with what you feel is right for you.</p>

49

<p>To me, graduating college is a big deal. High school graduation isn’t a defining moment. But a getting a degree is a major defining moment. I would be really upset if I missed my college graduation.</p>

50

<p>I can’t believe how many people are taking flak for skipping college graduation. Jesus, people, it’s none of your business. It isn’t required. And to those who keep saying “you worked 4 years for this ceremony, how you could skip it???” I say, uh, no, I actually worked 4 years to get my bachelor’s degree, not to spend 3 hours at an overblown circle-jerk.</p>

<p>

I paid my “respects” to the college and administration with tens of thousands of dollars in fees and tuition. This college, like 90% of all colleges, has gone to every end of the earth to try to rip me off – from requiring me to buy hundred-dollar “special edition” books at the bookstore, which have a 3 page insert, to cutting off 30% of my transfer credits, to charging exorbitant fees for parking, etc. </p>

<p>Sorry–I respect some of the teachers I’ve had here, but they don’t care if I go to the ceremony. I do not respect the administration, flat out, and if not going is an insult to them, then frankly that makes me want to skip it even more.</p>

<p>I’m not getting suckered into spend ANOTHER $500 for something that has zero practical use. (My school charges for gowns, regalia, the ceremony itself, etc). These schools are loving how sentimental people are, and they’re laughing all the way to the bank. </p>

<p>My parents are already proud of me, and would be proud of me whether it’s the dean who hands me my degree or the mailman. The degree does not change based on whether or not I attended graduation, and neither do my accomplishments.</p>

<p>College was about getting an education. It is not high school, part 2. The recognition that actually matters doesn’t come from some fleeting ceremony–it comes from the people who know me: my friends and family, the employers who I’m pursuing a career with, and the schools who are looking at me for higher-level study. Not to mention that piece of paper that comes in the mail, which is proof of what I’ve accomplished the last few years. I will celebrate by sharing a nice dinner and some good champagne with my parents when that day comes. That’s ceremony enough for me.</p>

<p>So no, I don’t understand why some think the ceremony is a “milestone” event. It’s the actual earning of the DEGREE that’s the milestone, and it’s amazing how many people seemingly can’t get that.</p>

51

<p>^Sounds like you should have chosen a better college.</p>

52

<p>Seriously unless your entire extended family is dead then why miss it? It is one of the proudest moments in your parents lives and the chance to say goodbye to a lot of friends you have made during the college years. Unless you have something REALLY important going on that day then you really shouldn’t skip out on graduation</p>

53

<p>UKclassof13:
Why lower yourself to throwing insults especially when it is against forum rules? Why care that others choose to not go? How does it negatively affect you if someone doesn’t go? Why is it your business to tell others how they should celebrate? How do you know that someone’s parents will be proud if you don’t know them personally?</p>

<p>There is no need to make rude, harassing statements. Please act in a mature manner. It is difficult to take anyone seriously who makes use of such low tactics.</p>

<p>mrsnowball:
And in some cases, the mailman will be bringing the degree regardless of whether one goes to their graduation ceremony or not. I’ve known people who did not receive their degree until months after the ceremony. The “degree” they were handed was just a piece of paper. If they were lucky, it had something printed on it. Many of the ones I knew received blank papers, though. The one my mom received for her masters at her ceremony was an advertisement for how to join the alumni association and donate money. We got a good laugh over it at least.</p>

<p>I like how low-key your personal celebration sounds :). I’m glad to hear you are choosing what is right for you.</p>

54

<p>I don’t care if others choose to go or not. But unless you have 0 friends and family then you probably should go.</p>

55

<p>Kender, do you think you not wanting to go to graduation has deeper implications? Maybe some people on here feel like getting a college degree is like winning a gold medal in the Olympics and after spending all that time and effort trying to obtain that goal, there is an intrinsic reward for having been the best achiever. Whereas you feel like college is a stepping stone and you want to hop over the stone as quickly as possible and get to the next phase of your life- finding a job, being independent, etc… which you feel is a greater reward than the degree itself.</p>

<p>I tend to agree with you about ceremonies, especially the ones I have been to. I’d rather spend the Saturday waiting in line to get my driver’s license than go to my high school graduation again.</p>

56

<p>By the way I am not at all being a proponent for going to the ceremony…I think it is just another “thing” for the university to sell like Kender said. Me, I won’t ever have to decide whether to go to a ceremony or not since I decided not to buy into the “college product” at all.</p>

57

<p>Sithra:
In the context of this thread, I’m saying that those individuals who are attacking others for not wanting to go have no right to do so. I stated earlier I think a graduation ceremony is a wonderful thing for those who want it and I am glad the opportunity exists. I just feel it is rude for others to make assumptions about a person’s situation and insist they must conform to social pressures whether they want to participate or not.</p>

<p>I think you’re mixing me up with another user unless you’re implying I was saying that universities are trying to “sell” in regards to my comment about my mom’s “degree” she was handed. If so, note that I was not making a commentary on graduation ceremonies being a product to be sold (or even a vehicle to sell products at) especially since that was only one incident from my personal experience. I simply found it amusing that that was what was printed on the “degree.” I’ve also seen very basic “congratulations” and blank pieces of paper. I recall one that even had details for where and how to return your gowns along with information about refreshments that would be available after the ceremony.</p>

<p>In the context of choosing to not go to a ceremony, I see no general deeper meaning that can be pointed to that would apply to everyone. It is a personal choice and one that should not be attacked regardless of the reasons behind one’s choice. There are several reasons I would normally choose not to go. Many reasons revolve around having better ideas about how to celebrate (hike Half Dome, Disneyland, Hawaii, cross-country road trip) that would be more personal for me.</p>

<p>If there is a deeper meaning, it is only on a personal level and not something any of us can truly determine since situations vary from person to person. Same with one who goes to the ceremony. It could have a deeper meaning, it might not. It depends on the person.</p>

<p>Also note that I already am an independent and have a decent resume of past work already. I am not supported by my parents financially as many here are. I would also disagree with how you worded my view of college and ceremonies. It is not so much that I see things as “stepping stones” and that I am seeking to “jump across them as quickly as possible,” but more that I see the journey as being more important than the celebration for finishing. Your description makes it sound like I dislike college and what it over with (and this is another reason why I think you may have me mixed up with another poster). On the contrary: I relish my time. I take advantage of every opportunity that I am able to. The journey would lose something if I simply jumped my way through it.</p>

<p>This just further proves that everyone is in very different situations ;). One size does not fit all and no one should be criticized for their decisions. I would certainly never say any negative about one who chose to go to a ceremony. As I have now said several times: it is great that it exists for those who want it. Everything is a personal choice same as your own to, as you put it, “not buy into the ‘college product’.” If that is what works for you, awesome! I mean that sincerely :)</p>

<p>No one has the right to judge another person for how they choose to celebrate (or even whether they choose to go to college at all). That has been the point of many of my responses in this thread.</p>

<p>UKclassof13:
But you are saying that one should cave to peer pressure and go while making insulting comments and assumptions about one’s social network of family and friends.</p>

<p>EDIT: Also, I am still waiting for a reason why it is any business of yours why someone should go or not ;). Along with my other queries. You say you don’t care, yet you posted that one should go regardless of their personal feelings. If it truly didn’t matter to you, then you wouldn’t have said anything telling others to go despite what they may want for themselves.</p>

58

<p>This has nothing to do with “caving to peer pressure”</p>

<p>If you have family that helped you with payment or other support during college then you SHOULD go because this will clearly be a special moment in their lives. Not everyone has good parents, I understand that, and if I didn’t like mine then I probably wouldn’t want them at my graduation</p>

<p>If you have friends then you should WANT to go. One last chance to say goodbye and see them also celebrate their success after 4 difficult years.</p>

<p>Now to your last point. Why is it my business? BECAUSE THIS THREAD IS ABOUT THE DECISION TO GRADUATE. It’s not like I was sitting at lunch, heard a computer science major at a table next to me say he is going to skip it, got up and started yelling at him. The OP and others wanted input and I gave them mine.</p>

59

<p>To me graduating college is an end of four years of long, hard work, and not a 4-5 hour ceremony. I don’t see why people care at all what others do.</p>

60

<p>Actually, this thread was a person asking if one is required to go to graduation, not how people feel about going to graduation or whether they feel others should go ;). The OP also wanted to know if one is required to wear the gowns to graduation. Truthfully, the only real, on topic response the OP could receive (and has received a few times) is that the requirement to attend will be up to his college and his personal situation.</p>

<p>Your posts are all about attempting to pressure others into following your belief. You are saying one should go and making use of reasons that are important to you, but may not be important (or even apply) to others. Someone could have an incredibly close family and very dear friends and not choose to go as well. It is their decision to decide how they want to celebrate or if they want to celebrate at all.</p>

<p>You want to go. That’s awesome. I am sincerely happy for you. Don’t tell others they should go. That’s not your business what someone besides you should do… It is certainly not your place to offer insults or make judgments about others either.</p>