I know what my 19-year-old makes because he works for my company.
I know LEO son’s salary because we had long talks about percentage contributions to 2 of his deferred compensation plans when he started the job last year. I also know he made $450 in overtime yesterday because he called to laugh about it last night. Beyond that he’s told me what he expects to make per year, but I don’t know the actual number.
We knew my ds’s salary when he started his first job in MBB consulting because he told us and because those salaries are widely published anyway. As long as he worked in MBB consulting, I knew his base but nothing else.
He did not tell us his salary when he went to work for a FAANG company, but I think he had a slight decrease.
He’s now in b-school so making nothing. I have a vague idea of what he is making this summer because he received a fellowship to continue working on the start-up he is involved in. I do not expect to ever know again how much money ds makes. Dh’s parents never knew what we made/had.
On the flip side, we knew how much dh’s parents earned because dh did their taxes. Now that mil is widowed, dh still does her taxes and manages her money for her. In terms of investing - not in terms of bill-paying and day-to-day life. When fil died, mil herself had no idea the amount of money they had as a married couple. Very different era, of course, but still crazy to me.
It is important to know because I need to figure out whether they are going to be asking me for money, or whether I can ask them if I need anything 
With my oldest I know how much she was initially making. Since then she and her husband have had pay raises and bonuses. I really don’t know how much they make anymore. The youngest has just been applying for jobs and I know what her offers have been. She has finally accepted a job so we know what she’ll make now. Beyond this we’ll only know if she discusses it with us.
I have a vague idea of what the kids and their SO make. Once you know their professions, it’s a range. It’s enough that I’m very confident that they will not need to come to us for support.
We’ve told our kids they needn’t worry about us either.
I only know how much money my mother has because I am paying her bills temporarily.
I think that once you know that your kids should be able to pay their bills, that is all that you need.
I know ballpark what D makes, only because she asked for my opinion during salary negotiations for her last job. She took a new job last year and mentioned that it wasn’t a step up or back financially but fit better with her personal situation. Her H got a new job around the same time & she joked that he was “finally” making what she earns, so I can guess that ballpark, as well. I have no idea how much they have saved.
S got a new job last year, and he sent me the offer and benefits information to review. He wanted my opinion, since the pay structure is different from what he was used to. No clue what he has saved.
My FIL went over his taxes with me every year. He wanted someone in the family to know their financial situation, and he thought I was the best one for the job. When he passed away, MIL commented that she didn’t know what her financial situation was. I told her that I could help her with that, since I had been clued in by her H. She got mad and told me to butt out of her business.
I think there is a difference between “do you know how much they make” and “should you know how much they make”.
I know roughly how much they make. The youngest got her first official job within the year so she was sharing that info as she talked out salary/benefits etc. with us in making a decision. Middle child is a teacher and so, so happy whenever he gets a raise that he shares and will often say “guess how much I’m making now!” (I don’t know or need to know what his wife makes). Oldest child was negotiating for a new job salary this time last year and she also freely shared her negotiating strategy including advocating for a higher salary. So I know roughly what she makes.
Here’s what I do know for sure. They are ALL making more than me at this point! And that’s GREAT.
The only thing I ever shared about our finances with the kids was, “You’re making more than I ever made.” My S offered his condolences!
Yes. It’s fun to get those phone calls announcing raises and bonuses. We’re so proud of them.
Maybe it’s different for us since our older kids are still younger 20s. At 26 and 23 they still want our opinions on contract terms, need help with taxes, etc…
I know when D and SIL get raises and promotions but they don’t share salary information and we don’t ask.
S is finishing a Master’s and we do know how much he makes as a T.A.
I am a CPA, but my kids do their own taxes.
Lol my daughter is a cpa and always says I don’t do taxes (she’s in real estate auditing, but she does her own taxes, H made them do them ever since they started working in HS).
I have a good idea how much my college graduates make, my cpa had another firm trying to get her to switch over and needed advice.
Yes, like others above my DDs are oversharers, younger/unmarried, and I do their taxes. They are not numbers people and I work with taxes, real estate, and law so they are happy to have me “of counsel”.
I’ve lost track of DD’17 a little bit because she’s gotten a couple of raises and I haven’t heard exact amounts but I know about where she’s at. She also likes to occasionally share how large her bank account has grown because she’s pretty proud and excited about that.
DD’19 is accepting a department transfer/promotion this week so she sent me the exact offer yesterday. I also continue to login to her bank account to keep it active because she doesn’t. Her living situation is somewhat temporary so eventually when she figures out where she’s settling she’ll bank somewhere else and I’ll be out.
At the moment, we do know because they have told us. Not sure that will continue. They do not know much about our financial situation. I did tell youngest he was making almost as much as I am.
Same for dh and me. Dh worked through ds’s tax return with him for the tax year he had graduated. Since then, ds has done his own taxes.
I did suggest that ds look into doing a Roth conversion this year when he will have so little taxable income since he is in grad school. I try to not give unsolicited advice, but I still think most of us parents have more awareness of and experience with certain financial matters. I try to word things in a way that is more along the lines of, “I was reading about,” or “Have you heard about,” or “Have you considered,” rather than, “You SHOULD.”
One of our kids shared when they hit a milestone as far as saving in their 401k. Most in their Roth.
The other I did suggest that they open a Roth and tried to explain why. Other than that, I try to stay out of things unless they ask.
Seems like many kids in this thread are doing better than their parents, which reminded me of this previous discussion and article:
My boys are both Gen Z. The 23-year-old already makes more than my wife, who has her masters in a health care field and has worked for 27 years. He will never surpass me in his current profession, but his retirement benefits are better.
Nope.
Apparently they earn somewhere between “can afford Netflix” and “needed my old car rather than buy a used one”
They do their own taxes, and we started IRAs for them years ago; our contribution is automatically added every year. No idea if they have been able to add anything to it.
The younger one, yes, because I still do her taxes and her lawyer salary is fairly standard.
The older one I know her total annual package, but she now has a lot of deferred pay, stock options and dividends, so I don’t know her total pay amount any more. But I know hiw much her husband makes.