H knows, at least with D’s first job out of college, he helped her make a budget when she was saving up to move out…
About 2 years ago, my friend’s ~23 year old daughter, who had recently graduated from college with a masters, and who had just moved in with her boyfriend, was killed by that boyfriend. Some of her accounts were still joint, like a bank account, because that status had just carried over from childhood. I don’t remember if the title to the car was in her name or the parents. She was the only grandchild and only niece on both sides of the family, so she’d inherited some things already.
It really does make it easier if permissions are given to SOMEBODY to know where everything is. It’s fine for it to transfer to a spouse at marriage, but until then adult children should let someone be in charge, keep a file of all accounts, passwords, secret hiding places.
That’s a really sad situation.
Just as we’ve highlighted the importance of having information needed in case of death on some other threads, it does make sense to at least know where to find information for our unmarried children in case of illness or death. A family at church lost their unmarried son very suddenly, and they said that getting his affairs settled was very difficult. I guess I should talk to my S about where I might find important information, just in case.
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OP here. Ds just got the job offer, and thanks to his wife I know exactly how much he’s making! lol
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S1, we know the rough order of magnitude. He shared his initial offer, but that was almost 11 years ago.
S2 tells us, but he has several gigs and H helps with his expat tax return. What is barely scraping by here is a very fine income where he lives.
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I knew all our S compensation packages when he was deciding. We discussed the pros and cons of each as well as the pros and cons of taking the startup path. Since he decided to go with a startup I have not asked how his salary has increased. I do get the occasional “wow, that increase was fun”. Recently, however I did receive news about a one time “retention” bonus that I’m sure was due to the increased demand for AI/ML expertise. It was, happy to say, substantial.
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H is a financial planner, he knew my grandmother’s financial situation, my parents (even though they had their own FA), and his parents. He has never shared that information with me, and wouldn’t.
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Yep. $15/hr. 
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Money has never been a secret or taboo subject in our immediate household, but it is never discussed beyond the three of us. DH and I always felt that teaching our son how to understand money and the principles for building wealth were as fundamental as teaching him how to tie his shoes, take out the garbage, care for his cat, protect his belongings, etc. He never had a paycheck until he joined the Army, but the Army, too, taught him not only how to manage and invest his own but also how to financially guide the enlisted entrusted to his care.
We thought we’d always have a good idea of our son’s salary because military rank pay is public information. We’ve since learned that published pay vs. actual pay can be miles apart. In addition to BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing), our son’s compensation includes certification pay, development pay, and deployment pay as well as commendation and retention bonuses. He has shared all of this with us.
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I did not know the military has retention bonuses.
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Funny, but not funny. My H has no idea what our kids make. H doesn’t know what HE makes. And he’s a teacher that signs a contract every year with the salary on it. He shoves it to me, ask if it looks ok and then signs.
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I have no idea how much I make. I know what the kid makes because it is the first job :-). So your H is not that unusual… It is nice to not know. Happy state of mind.
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Smells like a potential M&A situation to me… in our experience, every time a “retention bonus” appeared in the picture, some sort of a “big fish swallowing smaller fishes” event followed. Some of those bonuses can turn into a pumpkin at the strike of midnight during acquisition. So if he has a better gig lined up, make sure he reads all of the legal gibberish in that letter to make an informed decision about whether to stay or to leave.
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I think these days you don’t need M&A situations to get retention bonuses for AI/ML people. It just means the company can pay up now without permanently changing their pay structure.
You don’t, and you do.
I agree with S that it’s most likely due to increase demand for AI/ML expertise. He says that since ChatGPT launched and the subsequent increase in momentum around everything AI , his LinkedIn mail has increase way above normal. Recruiters and headhunters messaging him daily.
How long does he think peak demand will last?
Look at the stocks of companies that have anything to do with AI. It’s way up when the rest of the market is confused
I asked him that question and he doesn’t really know. AI is a broad catch-all term. He has specialized since freshman year in college in an area that is in extreme demand. But there are many other areas that in demand now as companies figure out what they need.
At the same time, AI may start consuming some programming jobs. So growth in some areas and contraction in others?
My son tells me that while there will obviously be demand for AI jobs, the demand for deep systems expertise will be even more in absolute terms – systems expertise at places that are implementing serious AI infrastructure to train models etc. And arguably this expertise is in some short supply because it is unfashionable among young people these days.