DS wants to live in his college town in the summer and wants me to finance it. This would go along with moving off campus, but in his college town living off campus is more expensive than living on campus. So, I’m not really into paying housing expenses in summer or paying extra for off campus housing. I think if he wants to be away from home in summer he should find a residential summer job like camp counselor and save his earnings to pay the extra the cost of living off campus.
So, I am curious to know if it is the norm for parents to pay for summers away from home, or just generally what your opinion on the situation is. Thanks.
I doubt if a camp counselor would make enough to pay rent. My kids worked as residential counsellors until they realized they needed to earn more money.
Youngest moved off campus sophomore year, and it was a bit cheaper to do so.
However, that is not counting the cost for the summer months. She stayed in the same rental till August, then she would move to someplace she liked better. Staying in her college town summers, gave her more of a chance to do internships and take additional courses.
We paid for DS to stay during the summer last year however he was taking classes. I wouldn’t pay for him to stay unless he was in school,doing a co-op or internship.
If there is a serious job (e.g. lab or field research) associated with this then yes. My son presssed hard and landed a modest paying job on Wall Street as a freshman. The “good” jobs are reserved for juniors but I felt why wait for the cultural and work experince, no matter how modest. So I paid his rent. A week into the job he said “I am only doing spreadsheets and powerpoints.” I replied “That’s what I do”. It was worth every penny; and he is a step ahead of his peers. There as to be some value, or payoff, associated with your investment, Otherwise it’s equivalent to partying at a beach job.
Our DD lived off campus beginning after her sophomore year…July 1. Off campus leases were for 12 months. She had a full time, in campus job for the summer the first year, and a part time one the second year while she took three classes. In her case, 12 months of housing off campus cost about the same as living on campus with a meal plan. So we paid the rent, and she paid for all of her food, and utilities. It was even Steven that way.
I think there are a lot of instances where it’s a very good thing. Depending on the field that your son is in, he may be able to find a summer job doing research with a professor. These often pay fairly well, and last the duration of the summer. This would be an excellent experience, and allow him to pay the rent.
We didn’t. They either came home for all or part of every summer and worked. Ds1 worked as a residential camp counselor for a month out of town one summer but was home and working here the rest of that summer.
Would DS get a job in his college town for the summer, or would he be taking classes at his college? I would want to help facilitate summer courses for my child if they needed them to fulfill a pre-requisite for a fall course, or to retake a course to get a higher grade, etc. Even so, I would ask my child to look for the least expensive housing option, or find roommates to bring the cost down.
Could you justify the housing expense if DS got a good job for the summer? If your expenses are more than your income, it seems silly to have him stay there. Are there decent opportunities in your own town for summer jobs?
I would consider helping with housing expenses if the work experience was connected to his major, or gave him experience needed to get into grad school or to get first real job after graduation. And I would do that even if the expenses were a bit more than his income, if it was a worthwhile internship or business experience.
I never went home after heading off to college. I got a job at the college that I worked at year round, and the college offered free summer housing. It wasn’t great pay, but with free rent I still came out ahead. Plus, I might have wasted a few weeks of the summer just looking for a job in my hometown.
I paid the first of three months of my D’s shared summer sub-let last year. She had in internship related to her major that paid in a stipend at the end of the summer. She also had a little on campus job and a side gig as a nanny. She paid the rest of the rent, food and saved for spending this year.
Thanks for the input. I think it supports my decision not to support him in this although I will still feel a little guilty about it. He works part time at the gym on campus, so its not related his major and only pays pocket change. I wouldn’t expect a camp counselor position to cover his rent, I would give him the amount that I’m already paying for on-campus housing. He would just have to pay the extra. He does want to take a history class this summer to reduce his course load next year, but since DH works at a community college he could take that class at home for free. He could also find a job at home pretty easily. I strongly urged him to apply for some paid summer internships a few months ago and I think he applied for one and didn’t get it. I don’t think he put much effort into it. There is an opportunity to work on campus in the summer and get campus housing free, but he wants to be off campus.
When he moves off-campus, will he have the opportunity for a lease that’s less than 12 months long? If so, some landlords do charge a premium for a 9-10 month lease which might make paying for it even more unpalatable. If not, it might not be a good idea since you/he will be stuck paying rent for an apartment that he might not even be at.
I know when I was in college that was part of the consideration; if you live on-campus, you have to leave when the school year is over and you’re done as far as paying dorm fees until you return. If you live in an apartment though, you have to keep paying for the lease term even if you’re not even in the apartment at the time.
For me it was worth it was because the cost of the off-campus apartment was about half as much as the cost of living in a dorm and purchasing the mandatory meal plan. It was irritating having to mail a check for rent in an apartment that I wasn’t even near for two or three months but even with that it was a bargain. In your case though, it might not make sense since he might have to pay a higher rent for a shorter lease term or have to pay rent for extra months even if he doesn’t have any reason to be in the college town.
You certainly can’t be faulted if you don’t want to pay those extra costs.
I wouldn’t have been able to help mine pay for that, she arrange it herself and either had a paid campus job or research grant in the summers. She arranged off campus later on, and I think that was a bit cheaper rent though, and a chance to save money off meal plan. She did find that it was better to have the off-campus meal plan rather than nothing because of the social aspect and not having to leave or pay out of pocket to eat. Although her flat was just a couple blocks away.
We calculated that a 12 month lease on an off-campus apartment was cheaper than 9 months in a dorm, so we paid for summer housing while D worked. She was responsible for her food, car expenses and entertainment.
If the apartment would have been more expensive than a dorm, I guess we would have said, “We will pay X (equal to the dorm) and you have to work to contribute the rest.”
When does his lease start? Will he have to sublet for the summer if he does not stay in the off campus apartment?
In your discussions with him, has he agreed to get more hours or another job in order to stay there for the summer?
For some it can be really valuable to continue to live on their own, developmentally so to speak, but part of that growth might be the expectation that he pays for at least a portion of it. He still has time to get a research assistant position or visit the college career or employment office.
He has a chance to stay free in college housing? Then I would NOT support him with any housing funds for the summer. Letting him have a taste of the real world could be a good motivation for being more proactive in searching for an internship for the following summer.
Now that we have all the details I would not support him. If I thought the job or activity was worthwhile enough, even if underpaid, I probably would. My younger son spent three years working at Tufts with housing on campus either free or at a big discount. He paid for all his expenses out of his earnings. Older son had highly paid internships out in CA (college was in Pittsburgh, we’re in NY) and also paid all his expenses.
I agree with your assessment…to me, college is a chance to become/learn some indepdence. And this is a perfect time to learn if you want the fun stuff, then you have to work for it. He can stay at home and take a class. He can stay on campus and do whatever. But why should you pay extra for him to stay off campus.
I think you are stuck in the classic parent situation of making your kid happy in the short run, but knowing that this is not good for them in the long run.